| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.) |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| All I Want For Christmas Is My Freedom |
| Friday, December 23, 2005 |
I know this picture's made the rounds on the 'net already, but I just thought I'd post it here as a reflection of what I'm thankful for this holiday season.
 At least I'm not a prisoner of love.
Be careful, Katie. First it starts out with a hair-hold. Next thing you know, he's got his foot up your ass.
Defamer.com: Katie Holmes Turns 27 Amongst Other Imprisoned Playthings |
posted by Lo @ 4:28 PM   |
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| 10 Comments: |
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sooooooooo being held hostage....
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at least someone wants to hold her...
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ROFL!! ROFL!! ROFL!! ROFL!!
That's the funniest comeback EVER!!!
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next Lo zone poll needs to be about which celebrity you'd be willingly taken hostage by....bonus points if you go ala Miss Holmes with the star whose poster lined your walls in the '80's (or the like)---my sympathies to any one who had Bobby Brown on your walls or any of the New Kids! Little did we all know what we really should have wanted was a poster of Vern from Stand By Me!!!!
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He probably just Hoovers her around the house that way all the time. "Here, honey, blow out the candles. Then we'll clean up those crumbs on the carpet, do a once-over on the drapes, and then you can give me a blow-job." Ah, the relationship between man and domestic implement.
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Hahahahahaha!!! Hahahahhahahaha!!! J, you just earned a high-twenty for that one!!! (A high-five x four---using both my hands and my feet, simultaneously.) "Hoovers her around the house." Brills. Absolutely brills.
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I bet your jealous she is getting the attention of a hunk like tom!
Mr. Morris
Ask Morris
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You earned it, J!! And as for you, Morris, yeah, you got me. I'm jealous. I long for the feel of a man's hand clinching the back of my head like a vise...to revel in his erratic spastic laughter triggered by seemingly nothing at all...having his "special friends" shadow me at every turn...to never pee alone again. Yes, Morris, I want that. From a hunky man like Tom. That's what I want. LOL.
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| About Me |
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Name: Lolita Files
Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
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sooooooooo happy......