The Lo Zone

A groovy place in cyberspace run by author Lolita Files. Come on in. Bring some Pepsi.

 
Lo Fun Fact #1
"Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita".
Lo Fun Fact #2
I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of Christian Louboutins.
Lo Fun Fact #3
Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all?
Lo Fun Fact #4
I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay?
Lo Fun Fact #5
I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!!
Lo Fun Fact #6
I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position.
Lo Fun Fact #7
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond.
All I Want For Christmas Is My Freedom
Friday, December 23, 2005
I know this picture's made the rounds on the 'net already, but I just thought I'd post it here as a reflection of what I'm thankful for this holiday season.

At least I'm not a prisoner of love.

Be careful, Katie. First it starts out with a hair-hold. Next thing you know, he's got his foot up your ass.

Defamer.com: Katie Holmes Turns 27 Amongst Other Imprisoned Playthings
posted by Lo @ 4:28 PM  
10 Comments:
  • At December 23, 2005 4:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    sooooooooo happy......

     
  • At December 23, 2005 5:13 PM, Blogger Lo said…

    sooooooooo being held hostage....

     
  • At December 23, 2005 5:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    at least someone wants to hold her...

     
  • At December 23, 2005 5:44 PM, Blogger Lo said…

    ROFL!! ROFL!! ROFL!! ROFL!!

    That's the funniest comeback EVER!!!

     
  • At December 24, 2005 8:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    next Lo zone poll needs to be about which celebrity you'd be willingly taken hostage by....bonus points if you go ala Miss Holmes with the star whose poster lined your walls in the '80's (or the like)---my sympathies to any one who had Bobby Brown on your walls or any of the New Kids! Little did we all know what we really should have wanted was a poster of Vern from Stand By Me!!!!

     
  • At December 24, 2005 11:43 AM, Blogger j said…

    He probably just Hoovers her around the house that way all the time. "Here, honey, blow out the candles. Then we'll clean up those crumbs on the carpet, do a once-over on the drapes, and then you can give me a blow-job." Ah, the relationship between man and domestic implement.

     
  • At December 24, 2005 11:54 AM, Blogger Lo said…

    Hahahahahaha!!! Hahahahhahahaha!!! J, you just earned a high-twenty for that one!!! (A high-five x four---using both my hands and my feet, simultaneously.) "Hoovers her around the house." Brills. Absolutely brills.

     
  • At December 26, 2005 8:46 PM, Blogger j said…

    A high-twenty!! Sweet!

     
  • At December 26, 2005 10:11 PM, Blogger Morris said…

    I bet your jealous she is getting the attention of a hunk like tom!

    Mr. Morris
    Ask Morris

     
  • At December 26, 2005 10:27 PM, Blogger Lo said…

    You earned it, J!! And as for you, Morris, yeah, you got me. I'm jealous. I long for the feel of a man's hand clinching the back of my head like a vise...to revel in his erratic spastic laughter triggered by seemingly nothing at all...having his "special friends" shadow me at every turn...to never pee alone again. Yes, Morris, I want that. From a hunky man like Tom. That's what I want. LOL.

     
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About Me

Name: Lolita Files

Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States

About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.

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