| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| I'm...Coming Clean. |
| Wednesday, December 14, 2005 |
 Alright, here it is. I'm just gonna come out and say it.
I miss Laguna Beach.
I still haven't figured out how a grown-a$$ black woman like me got strung out on these over-indulged, out-of-touch, hoe-hopping beach teens. It's an equation that just doesn't add up. We have nothing in common, but I'm drawn to their drama like...like...like...like stupid Jessica is to pathologically lying and unfaithful Jason's horny flame.
 But their season is over and has been for a month now, yet still I jones for them, and sometimes forget they're not going to be there in a new episode at 10pm on Monday nights. And I feel a little sad. You see, all the whining, the cheating, the backstabbing, the balls-out consumerism of those kids---it made me feel alive!!! And just when I was beginning to feel good about myself after realizing how f-d up they were in comparison...POOF!! It was over. At least until the start of season 3, when the next batch of scary-rich Laguna kids show up. But I don't know if I'll like them as much. I've been with most of these people for two whole seasons. I miss Lauren, Stephen, Talan, and Jason. And dumba$$ Jessica. I even miss that skank rat Kristin.
 See me in this picture below? Just to the right of Jessica (who's in the black tank top)? I'm the one who's very, very badly photoshopped in (and I'm the only black). I'm so badly photoshopped, I actually have an Adam's apple. My desperation to be with them knows no bounds. *Sigh* Yeah, I love my cool white beach friends...
 ...my cool white beach friends who would probably ask me to clean their houses if they ever met me for real. Because there are no black people in their Laguna Beach. Not even a half-black. Or a quadroon. Or an octoroon. Or a macaroon (...macaroons are cookies, people!! sheesh...know your racial breakdowns!!!).
Oh well. At least we're friends in TV Land. Because in TV Land, anything is possible. Even trying to fit a square (me) into a circle (Laguna).
Let the rain fall down...!!!
Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County |
posted by Lo @ 3:30 PM   |
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