| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| Mariah Dairy |
| Wednesday, December 07, 2005 |
I said I would post on random subjects on occasion, I just didn't expect that it would happen on my second post. But I just couldn't take it, people. I just couldn't keep quiet about this.
My new book, Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame., is about the great lengths and extremes people will go to in order to achieve fame and celebrity. Even love. Some go all the way to the edge, willing to kill or die to get what they want. It's not always easy to understand the psychology of a person with this kind of desperate need for attention. It's an all-consuming fire that destroys those afflicted with it from the inside out. Sure, we all like to feel important, that's human nature, but last night I saw a case of "look at me" in action that was one for the books.
I was watching the Billboard Music Awards, and Mariah Carey won the first of what would become another trough of trophies for her juggernaut of a comeback cd, The Emancipation of Mimi. She deserves them. The album is blazin'. But then Mariah made her way up to the stage, and suddenly I found myself staring at this:
 Yeah, yeah, the dress was a bit tiny and tight, but that's so Mariah. I'm used to that now. What I still haven't gotten used to, though, are those CANNONS on her chest that seem to get exponentially bigger with every public appearance. My brain was clobbered with questions, too many to deal with at once. When did she become the bastard hybrid of Dolly Parton and Pam Anderson? Was it subtle or abrupt? Have I not been paying attention? What would prompt such mammary mania?
I was so bothered by it that I found myself questioning my own sense of recall. Mimi didn't always look like this, did she? I seemed to remember that first video of hers, Vision of Love, that was played ad nauseum, and she was a stick of a thing, a popsicle with colossal lungs and scads of curly hair. I had to make sure of it. Yes!!! I was right!!! See?
 She was once not-so-busty, practically flat-chested, even. So what happened? Was it all those new girls coming on the scene, threatening to steal some of her "look at me" thunder? The Beyonces and Alicias and Ashantis and Christinas and Britneys? Is that what did it? Is that what caused her to resort to this?
 I know it's hard out there for a pimptress, a girl's gotta protect her turf and all, but Mariah seems to have forgotten what we fell in love with her for in the first place: her voice. She's a pretty girl, but that's beside the point. What matters is that when she's on her mark, her voice can make your heart soar. It can make you run the full range of the emotional landscape, which is no small feat. That's why she's broken so many records, had staying power, and the ability to recover from dark times and emerge stronger, better, more talented than before. She's the Six-Million-Dollar Songstress, no dual front airbags necessary. She needs to remember that and be sympathetic to us at the same time. Because when I watch a Mariah Carey performance, it's for the music. I'm not trying to be distracted by her CANNONS all up in my tv screen.
And speaking of CANNONS and distraction, check out poor Nick Cannon, who co-presented along with Chris Brown.
 These two had the great fortune/misfortune of handing Mariah her first award of the night. Look at them. It couldn't have been that long ago that they were weaned off the tit for real. Then to be faced with this, on national television, no less. At an age where their hormones are raging. The poor guys could barely contain themselves. Chris Brown has already staked out the nipple he wants. And what's Nick trying to do with his right hand?
Billboard Music Awards @ Billboard.com |
posted by Lo @ 10:47 AM   |
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