| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is. |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
|
| My Technicolor Theory, Confirmed At Last |
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 |
Good lord!! Anyone who can even commit them all to memory---let alone recognize their meanings when used in public---is worthy of a MacArthur Genius Award.
I told you The Gays were better than heteros at a ton of things. I also told you they're the ones who brought color to our world. Boy, was that an understatement. Too bad there aren't any straight guys walking around with mustard on the left (you'll see what I mean in a minute).
Click the link and prepare to be amazed (unless you're gay, in which case you're probably laughing at us stupid, drab, easily excitable heteros). Careful...viewing this might not be suitable for work.
Heteros, we need a color code. And I'm not just talking about white, black, red, and yellow. Those are races, okay? We can do a little better than that.
Gay Hanky Codes
Previously: The Lo Zone: So Tired of Ted and Toothy
Previously: The Lo Zone: The Brokeback Effect: Gays Will Become The New Mean Girls and Heteros Will Become Total Nerds |
posted by Lo @ 12:05 PM   |
|
|
|
|
|
