| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| Sean Lennon Wants YOU!!! |
| Wednesday, December 28, 2005 |
 The question is, would you want him? Yikes!!!
Get a load-a that mug. Maybe it was just a bad picture day. He's obviously his father's son, but somebody needs to hold him down and mow his face real quick. And maybe do something about those eyebrows. And brush his hair. No, cut it. And what's going on with that outfit? Thank goodness we can't see much of it.
Anyway, this furry beast is wookin' pah nub, and he's put out a call for help...to Page Six, no less:"Any girl who is interested must simply be born female and between the ages of 18 and 45," John Lennon's singer/songwriter son, 30, told us. "They must have an IQ above 130 and they must be honest. They must not have any clinical, psychological disorders . . . and a kind heart. Clearly beautiful - but beauty on the inside is more important - but no deformities, third legs, fifth nipples . . . I'm completely alone and I'm completely miserable. So please send your request to [PAGE SIX]." If this isn't a joke, I'm sure it soon will be. There's probably a reason Sean can't get a sane woman. Maybe it's because only the crazy ones can get past Mama Yoko. She put the 'block' in cockblock. Broke up a world class band, arguably the greatest band ever, with her knobsquashing skills. So just imagine her as a potential mother-in-law. You're sitting across the dinner table from her, trying to daintily cut your smoked tofu, and she looks at you and quietly says, "I destroyed the Beatles," then takes a sip of wine. That's code for GITDAFUGOUT...NOW. Which is probably why Sean is alone. Which is probably why Sean will remain alone. Except for crazy girls. He'll always be a magnet for the apeshit chicks.
New York Post: Page Six |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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