| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is. |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| The Greatest What-The-Fuck Of All: My Balls Are More Galactic Than The Galactic Balls Of Black Jesus |
| Wednesday, January 25, 2006 |
The Great and Wonderful Karu F. Daniels has just ensured my eternal servitude. Not only did I get that really great headlining feature on AOL Black Voices this week, they've taken it up another notch and put me on the front page of AOL Black Voices as the lead flash photo story for the Entertainment section. Here's the screenshot (notice I circled the Kanye West Poses as Jesus in red):
 [click image to enlarge]
How hot is that? That cat was Jesus this week, yet I got the front page (he's probably like, "yeah, bitch, but did you get the cover of Rolling Stone?")
 To which I'd say..."Gimme time, gimme time." Or, as my editor, Jennifer Pooley, told me:
Obviously you better go find some water to walk on.
I'm still trying to perfect that trick. In the meantime, umma go find some pants to fit these big balls o'mine. I would wear a skirt, but it's been windy here of late. All it'd take is one quick breeze. Once L.A. got a glimpse of my uber-nuts, it just might shut down the whole damn city.
AOL Black Voices
AOL News: Kanye West Poses as Jesus for Rolling Stone
Previously: The Lo Zone: Kanye West Has Galactic Balls
Previously: AOL Black Voices: BV Entertainment Newswire Jan 23: Lolita Files, Juelz Santana, Lou Gossett, Jr., Barbara Britton
Previously: The Lo Zone: Karu F. Daniels Rocks!!! |
posted by Lo @ 3:18 PM   |
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| 6 Comments: |
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can't comment now...too busy laffin'...ROFL!!!!!!
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These big balls are itchy. I don't know how you men do it.
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Sweet! Swing 'em low, baby. Just don't hit anyone or they might take you on Judge Judy. "Yes, judge, this woman hit me with her balls as I was walking down the street. I'm suing on the grounds of my black eye and severely damaged psyche."
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ROFL!! "Severely damaged psyche." I love it!!! Big balls'll do that.
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Yeah, some guys have issues with "well-endowed" ladies like ourselves. And I, personally, find that really goddamned funny. ;)
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"Ball envy." LOL. How sad is that? As if men didn't have enough to be paranoid about, now they're insecure about their ballage too.
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can't comment now...too busy laffin'...ROFL!!!!!!