| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is. |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| The "I Can Lie Just Like James Frey" Contest: Winner #2 |
| Tuesday, January 31, 2006 |
 Yet another clever Lo Zone reader, J., wins cd number two in the Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame. soundtrack giveaway. J. tells the fabulastically-fun story of her (fictitious, we hope) undercover life of cat burglary that's necessary to satisfy a yen for high-end, museum quality furnishings and accoutrement. (Translation: J.'s a klepto baller.) Check it out:"A million little pieces" was the phrase that crossed my mind as I watched the vase (early Ming, blue and white dragon motif, would've looked spectacular in my living room) slipped through my gloved fingers and twirled delicately towards the floor. It seemed to take an hour for the vase to complete its suicidal gymnastic routine, time enough for me to think of all the times this hadn't happened and how each time had led me one step closer to the nirvana of home decor. A small Picasso above the fireplace. A tiny Keith Haring in the guest bathroom. Archaeological treasures graced the mantle and various shelves. "Oh, it's a gift shop replica," I would always tell people. But now the truth was that I had smashed a real Ming vase (oh, how cliche!) during a break-in and I could already hear footsteps crashing down the hall towards me to the wail of museum alarms. Ripping myself from bereavement (oh, that color! and with my sofa!) I leapt up and grabbed the rope that came through the air vent. Gucci glove over Gucci glove, I was home free into the vent - until I was grabbed by the Mahnolos and hauled off to jail. And this is why I write to you, Lolita, to try and win the CD. Life in jail is bleak! If I win, please have Mel Jackson kiss it for me. He is one super-hot man. Congratulations, J.!! Expect that signed (and kissed) cd to be on its way. 'Cause nothing says "free soundtrack" like a broken Ming vase. And a Blahnik-wearing cat burglar.
Fly thievery. Right here at the Lo Zone.
Previously: The Lo Zone: The "I Can Lie Just Like James Frey" Contest: Winner #1
Previously: The Lo Zone: Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame.: The Soundtrack, Part 2
Previously: The Lo Zone: Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame.: The Soundtrack
Amazon.com: Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame. |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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