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Lo Fun Fact #1
"Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is.
Lo Fun Fact #2
I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of Christian Louboutins.
Lo Fun Fact #3
Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all?
Lo Fun Fact #4
I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay?
Lo Fun Fact #5
I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!!
Lo Fun Fact #6
I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position.
Lo Fun Fact #7
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond.
Industry Rule Number 4081: Hollywood Loves Itself A Black Man In A Fat Suit And Drag
Sunday, January 29, 2006

I don't think so. It's a conspiracy, and I'm not the conspiracy theory type.

But ever since Mandingo had his way onscreen with Missy and America caught a glimpse of unleashed black male power meat rasslin' with a white woman...

...Hollywood's been trying to mammify the black man ever since. Of course, there are exceptions. Will's been able to get away with not having to go all plump-and-drag on us. He's so incredibly likable, America didn't even flinch when he showed us his ENTIRE ass in that shower scene at the beginning of I, Robot.

But Will's an exception. And so is Ice Cube.

No, I definitely can't see Ice Cube putting on a fat suit and a dress. He'll shoot a muhfucka first. But brothers, beware. This is fast becoming the measure of success for a black man in Hollywood. You're nobody till you're in a fat suit and drag.

I wonder how Terrence Howard's gonna look in one.

He's so damn pretty. He'll make a gorgeous mammy.


Nanny comedies lead weekend box office
Box Office Mojo.com: Big Momma's House 2
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM  
3 Comments:
  • At January 30, 2006 2:41 PM, Blogger Lance said…

    we're on the same point, lo....

    but i think it's beyond the "fatness". there's something hollywood loves about a "black man being a woman" period. think back to the 70's of flip wilson's skits of "geraldine" on the flip wilson show, which vehemently detested, later in life because people wanted to see "her" and not the real man. even in sports, we had "grand ma-ma" from b-baller larry johnson for converse, as well as martin lawrence again for "sha-nay-nay" (mispl, probably, but who gives a fuck) in martin. i guess we could see thru the martin "character" on the show because he played so many others but since his career has taken a downward spiral since "bad boys 2", was "big momma 2" done to get back into the game.....and make some money?

    and don't forget industry rule number 4080: record company people are shay-deeeeee!

    long live the tribe!

     
  • At January 31, 2006 1:34 AM, Blogger Lo said…

    That's why I called this post Industry Rule Number 4081...out of deference to I.R. Number 4080 (I'm a Tribe fan forever).

    I think you're right, though. If Hollywood had it's druthers, all black men would probably be black women. What is it about you (black men) that so threatens the rest of the world?

    That penis envy thing is a muhfucka, ain't it?

     
  • At January 31, 2006 11:06 AM, Blogger Lance said…

    but what if hollywood had it druthers and ALL BLACK MEN were BLACK WOMEN....well, with WHITE STUDIO films like GUESS WHO? & SOMETHING NEW...ALL BLACK WOMEN are jonesin' for ALL WHITE MALES. So, does that mean WHITE MALES really have the "brokeback, love jones" for BLACK MALES????

    yeah, i know....reaching for the dumb shit this morning!

     
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About Me

Name: Lolita Files

Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States

About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.

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