| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| The Magical Mystery Tour: Inside The Head Of A Delusional Man (Part 1) |
| Tuesday, January 24, 2006 |
Check this out, people. (Ladies, you in particular need to pay attention.)
 See this? You see it? This is the face of a man who thinks he's about to get PAID. Well, more paid, for as we already know, he's been getting paid like a mug, even as he secretly siphons off cash from assorted ATMs in the Greater Los Angeles area on a regular basis...
 ...thus ensuring his backup stash of liquid funds is set when the day arrives that his luck runs out. And it will run out. All stupid women eventually come to their senses, although they might be a little lot lighter in the purse and strapped with a some babies for their troubles. (No offense to stupid women. We've all been a little loopy for love at some point or another. What separates us is how long our loopiness lasts. Check yourselves. If this sounds like your man, gitdafugout..NOW.)
Back to this fool. The top picture is a screenshot of him in the studio, playing for you what he believes is a bonafide hit, his first single, PopoZao, from his imminently-shitastic cd "whateverdafuck," (seriously, do you really care what it's called?), coming to you much sooner than the law should allow. (Speaking of which, how come shit doesn't have a speed limit? It should only be able to travel at a certain pace to allow folks a chance to get out of the way.)
Anyway, check out Kevs digging on his own (he believes) Billboard chart-topping brilliance. This is incredible, and I mean that in the most literal sense of the word. You've got to see it to believe it.
Enjoy!!! Don't laugh so hard that you spit up on your screen.
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posted by Lo @ 4:23 PM   |
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