| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.) |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
|
| Meet Cortney Gee. |
| Wednesday, January 18, 2006 |
 ...aka the Suge Knight of Sidesplitting Humor. Not that he's out there shooting other comedians and hanging them off of balconies and what not.
(Hey, real Suge, if by some freaky fluke you're reading this, them's just jokes!! I mean...
 ...I know you've never shot, maimed, or threatened another soul in your life. People underestimate how kind you are. You really oughta get a better PR person. Um, hey, has your name ever been submitted for the Nobel? That might be a good move towards image change. You should get your peeps to look into it. But I digress...)
Back to Cortney Gee. The Cocksman of Comedy. The Lord of the Laugh. The Pimp of Punchlines.
A man so cool, so funny, so smart, so big and scary in appearance when you first meet him, you might make a small squish of doodie in your seat before quickly realizing he's really a sweet gentle Ben---if he likes you. Cortney's so awesome, I made him a character in one of my books. He's Sleazy, the guy who basically saves the day all around, in my fifth novel, Tastes Like Chicken. Sleazy isn't just based on Cortney, he IS Cortney. Sleazy is actually my nickname for the real Cort. But it's 'Sleazy' in a good way, not some smarmy, ass-chasing, up-to-his-eyeballs in chicks coming through his crib kind of way. No sir. This is the kind of Sleazy you want as your friend, and he's damn funny, to boot.
 You've seen him all over the place, in comedy clubs from L.A. to New York and all spots in between. He appeared on HBO's Def Comedy Jam, has made many, many appearances on BET's Comic View, and has shared the stage with some of the hottest acts in comedy today, including Steve Harvey, Mark Curry, DL Hughley, Chris Rock and Jamie Foxx. Right now, he's Cleveland's reigning King of Comedy (hey, if you're in Cleveland to begin with, lord knows you need to find a reason to laugh about it). Check him out if you get a chance. If you're stuck in Cleveland. Or catch him on TV. And you can always peep his website.
He's majorly good peeps, one of my favorites. He's the big brother I already had, a wonderful friend, and he comes in real handy for scaring the shit outta guys you want to bacdafucoff (unless it's him you're trying to get off your back, in which case, you're probably fucked...in more ways than one).
 Get to know him for yourself. Girls, approach with caution. Cortney and Jamie both graduated from the Celebrity School of Crissy-Popping and Panty-Snatching (okay, so maybe it's more like Hpnotiq-opening, but the panty-snatching part is still there). The only reason I've escaped all these years is because he considers me cute but deceptively-and-dangerously cerebral, which essentially renders me unfuckable. No matter what, you'll have fun with Cort. The ladies love him...
 (No, that is not a photoshopped picture. Janice Dickinson was actually trying to grab his johnson.)
And he's a real man's man, so he's always cool with the fellas.
 Check him out. Besides, it'll do you some good. Everybody needs a little a buncha some Sleazy in their lives.
Cortney Gee: Taste the Sleaze.
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posted by Lo @ 3:16 PM   |
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| 2 Comments: |
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Umh...
Hi Lo! sounds like Cortney scripted that post - lol... Much love and success 2 you both! Any friend of Cortney is a friend mine! And must be Kra-ZYY (smile)
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LBoogie, anybody who'd be Cortney's friend would have to be krazy to begin with. Here's to krazy. Cheers!
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Name: Lolita Files
Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
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Umh...
Hi Lo! sounds like Cortney scripted that post - lol... Much love and success 2 you both! Any friend of Cortney is a friend mine! And must be Kra-ZYY (smile)