| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
|
| No "Unnnhh!!!!!" No "Na-Na-Na-Na!!!!" |
| Friday, January 06, 2006 |
 What a disappointment. I was all geared up to see Master P in his tight shiny spandex pants and spit-shined spats doing the Cha Cha on
Dancing with the Stars. It was all so potentially bling-a-rifically fish-out-of-water. But, in true form, like a brother who has a street rep to protect, P came out dressed not much differently from his normal garb, and he moved like he had a dozen two-by-fours rammed up his ass. Whatever happened to sportsmanship? Why play the game if you're not gonna go all out for it? He knew it was a cheesy show. That's half the fun of it. It was the perfect chance for him to step outside of himself and he blew it.
Diddy would have danced. Diddy would have worn the tight shiny spandex pants. They would have had the Sean John logo stamped all over 'em, but he would have been in it to win it, 'cause that's how Diddy rolls.
Jerry Rice and Drew Lachey (!!!) however...they were very pleasant surprises. Both guys totally ROCKED. Both guys were in it to win it.
 Even Tatum O'Neal was able to bring it, with grace and elegance to boot...
 ...and she's, like, a former crackhead/Columbian drug lord (or something).
So I'm not trying to hear it. Master P, my ass.
 You're no master. A master can take a dare and make it his own. So what, you were standing in for your son. That's no excuse. You're just plain ol' P from now on. You let a cheesy tv show pull your card.
ABC.com: Dancing with the Stars
Previously: The Lo Zone: Lemme Hear Ya Say Unnnhh!!!!! Na-Na-Na-Na!!!! (An-a One, An-a Two...) |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
|
| 9 Comments: |
-
i didn't know massa p was 'pose to dance. he look soooooo outta place with that shit on. are you for real? they shoulda got snoop dogg wif his pimp costume. you would have least said, "damn. he still can't dance, but he looks good! fo sho!!!!!"
-
He looked like he was constipated!!!!
-
Lance, you're right. Snoop's outfit would have amused us, and he would have at least Cripwalked with his dance partner to keep us entertained. Snoop would have had dancing girls backing him up.
Ettevy, he looked mad stopped up. Like a major colonic was lonnnnnnng overdue.
-
hey, how 'bout r. kelly's pervert ass on the dance flo'....i mean, he talks mad game about "steppin'"....if the shoes fits, dance man!
-
Ooh, Lance, you are so right!! R. Kelly would have been PERFECT for this!!
-
yeah...i can see it now....imagine r. kelly dancing with his adult female partner...BUT WAIT! 14-year old girl cuts in and the dance floor goes dark and the spotlight is on those two as r. kelly begins to sing "bump & grind"...i know, i know...i'm going to hell (that's why i carry bottled water...ya just never kno'!!!!!) ;-P~~
-
LOL! Yeah, the show would suddenly become "Dancing With The Inmates," after they carry him off to jail.
-
Speakin' of inmates (damn, this is cold!), they need to get Michael Clarke Duncan out there on the dance floor. Any man diesellike that, and can cry like a baby (Green Mile) gotta be able to dance!!!! (Heav'm help the woman if he steps on her toes!....especially on live t.v.!!!!)
-
everyone is forgetting to mention that Drew Lachey topped Ashley Parker Angel in round 1 of the boyband attempted comebacks...but did anyone else think he should have had a male partner?????
|
| |
| << Home |
| |
|
|
|
|
i didn't know massa p was 'pose to dance. he look soooooo outta place with that shit on. are you for real? they shoulda got snoop dogg wif his pimp costume. you would have least said, "damn. he still can't dance, but he looks good! fo sho!!!!!"