| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is. |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and bird, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five dogs and a bird, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| Now I Ain't Sayin' You A Gold Digger... |
| Friday, January 20, 2006 |
 ...but ladies, just in case you're interested in jumping class, away from all the broke mofos who keep sticking you with everything but what it is you really need, here's a lil' something you might wanna check out.
Just for shits and giggles, here's a screenshot from the website describing the criteria for participating and meeting rich men. (Broke mofos, you can also meet rich women through this site):
 [click image to enlarge]
So have at it, ladies. Dive into MillionaireMatch.com and find the man of your monetary dreams. Just know going in that, no matter how idyllic things may seem, everything comes at a price. Don't let the pictures on the website deceive you. All of them show women being laced by men, holding hands walking on the beach, being swept away in wedding gowns on cruise ships, or chilling, like this lady here...
 ...as her rich man plays golf.
That may all be true, but keep in mind the very rich are often the freakiest, kinkiest, how'd-you-come-up-with-that-shit people of all. They can have practically anything (and more than likely they have), so it often takes a lot to excite them. Your new rich man will probably be used to getting whatever he wants, so he might not take too well to you resisting and/or challenging his requests. Like his need to see you suck a squirrel's nuts (and I don't mean the ones they store for winter) in order for him to get turned on. But hey, if that's cool with you, bring on the squirrels!!!
 Your man will be happy, the squirrels might be a bit baffled but curiously willing, and you'll get to shop 'til you drop!!! You'll be in the finest of clothes, the fanciest of cars, and the poshest of penthouses. You'll vacation in St. Barts (or wherever the very rich go), and winter in Aspen. Your friends may not understand why you bug out a little every time you see a squirrel, but then, your friends are probably women just like you who married rich too, so they've probably got their own quirks.
 Like getting the shakes every time they see a burro.
MillionaireMatch.com |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| 1 Comments: |
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we want pre-nupt we want pre-nupt
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we want pre-nupt we want pre-nupt