| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.) |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| Star Groans |
| Monday, January 09, 2006 |
 I was going to do my own personal rant about the nonsense that is this runaway train currently on tour and determined to help you---YES, YOU!!!---become a better, much thinner, holier, happier, gaydar-ignoring loving person and get a husband that looks like this...
 ...but I'm feeling a bit sluggish after what was a pretty busy weekend, so I decided to let yesterday's gossip section in the New York Daily News do it for me. An excerpt herewith:We all have much to learn from Star, obviously, so now we bring you nuggets of wisdom from her book:
"Unless you are in serious denial, no one's going to be as honest with yourself as you ... I want you to get into the habit of assessing yourself truthfully."
You first, Star.
"I'm a firm believer in bigger is better for many things."
That we know already.
"Check your breath - either by having a very good friend smell when you exhale, or blow into a paper bag and smell what comes out."
Stop talking now, Star!
"Thou Shall Not Pay Retail."
Or, in your case, at all.
"I was lucky - I've never been taught anything but 'You're fabulous and can achieve anything you want.'"
Your luck, our loss.
"Look - when I did a summation on myself, I clearly saw some of my faults. I'm bossy, I'm extremely controlling. I find it easier to do things myself rather than share in the doing."
Girl, don't stop there!
"Al was watching a ballgame in the living room, but all of a sudden, there he was in my room. And he started massaging my feet while Fifi and the girls braided my hair."
Oh, yuck.
"We went out dirty dancing - we call it slow dragging - four nights in a row."
Star, why did you have to tell us that?
"We learned to make love without having sexual intercourse. It would hold us for awhile."
Again, Star ... we're begging you, please.
I mean, Al is a beautiful man. He's got the legs of a stallion.
We're outta here! Don't think I won't revisit this, though, once I get my energy up. I've been staying out of the Star Jones Reynolds debate for the most part until now, pretty much high-fiving her for taking the weight loss steps. But it's pissing me off that she didn't just write a book sharing the details of her life. That was risky enough in an age where people love skewering celebrities (I do it too, but only when warranted). Noooooooo. She had to take it a step past too far, offering advice to me---AND YOU---about how to live and how to get a man like the one she got. She was always the one advising guests on The View to not air their personal relationships because it opened them up to attack, yet that's all she's done ever since she met this guy. Everything about this stinks to high heaven. I can already see that the...
...I'm tired y'all. Just thinking about this woman has tapped the last little reserves of my already-depleted energy. More later. She's on a 30-city tour. I'm sure there'll be plenty more to talk about.
New York Daily News - Daily Dish & Gossip - Book shares her big secrets |
posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   |
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| 1 Comments: |
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yeah, but what happens with yo' man goes on the "down low" tour star? are ya gonna write about that too, then what?.....i heard about the weigh loss, but didn't really see any pics (because i really don't care) but now that i've seen them, uggggh...are you serious? she looks like a cousin to one of those martians in area 51. maybe she is a martian, her name is STAR, ya kno'? the eyes don't lie!
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Name: Lolita Files
Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
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yeah, but what happens with yo' man goes on the "down low" tour star? are ya gonna write about that too, then what?.....i heard about the weigh loss, but didn't really see any pics (because i really don't care) but now that i've seen them, uggggh...are you serious? she looks like a cousin to one of those martians in area 51. maybe she is a martian, her name is STAR, ya kno'? the eyes don't lie!