| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| Startled Jones: The Transformation |
| Wednesday, January 11, 2006 |
Okay, I am officially in love with Gallery of the Absurd. They have some fucktastical shiznit going on over there.
For instance, these two pieces of portraiture (based on recent snapshots of Starlet) which seem to definitively capture the phantasmahorrical morphing of the ever-shrinking egotrix.
Here...
 and here...  Per GOTA: She looks like a very startled big-eyed alien. I hereby bequeath her a new moniker: Startled Jones. Priceless. They even offer a natural progression of how Mrs. Jones Reynolds will ultimately look. To wit:
 Wonder how she'll communicate with Al when that happens. Maybe those hand signals from Close Encounters.
 ...'course, they're probably doing that already.
Gallery of the Absurd |
posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   |
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| 2 Comments: |
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see, i told y'all in the "STAR GROANS" blog she looked like an alien and sho nuff...there she is. hell, there was nuthin' wrong wif her big...just needed to cut back on the fried chicken, poke chops, tater chips, chocolate ice cream, COKE-COLA (sure downfall), cornbread, chitlins, pig feet, hog maws, red kool-aid, 'nana puddin', french fries, pizza, hot wangs, beef jerky (hey al, no pun intended), junior's cheesecake (well, i don't know about that one, jr. chzck da shit), general tso chicken, egg rolls, lasagna and whew!...collard greens.
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*nods* Big. Head. Little. Body.
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see, i told y'all in the "STAR GROANS" blog she looked like an alien and sho nuff...there she is. hell, there was nuthin' wrong wif her big...just needed to cut back on the fried chicken, poke chops, tater chips, chocolate ice cream, COKE-COLA (sure downfall), cornbread, chitlins, pig feet, hog maws, red kool-aid, 'nana puddin', french fries, pizza, hot wangs, beef jerky (hey al, no pun intended), junior's cheesecake (well, i don't know about that one, jr. chzck da shit), general tso chicken, egg rolls, lasagna and whew!...collard greens.