| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.) |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| Somebody's Showing Me Waaaaaaaay Too Much Monkey |
| Wednesday, February 08, 2006 |
 Now, I know Universal's all excited about their new movie, Curious George, but they've gone straight bananas with the marketing of this bitch. I mean, really. I can hardly step out the door without being accosted by a freaking billboard with this monkey on it.
Yesterday I was out running errands, and just for---you guessed it---shits and giggles, I decided to count how many of those damn ads I saw in the course of the five square miles I covered while out.
I left the house at 3:48pm. I was back home by 4:37pm. And just how many monkey ads did I see?
===>24<===
That's right, I said it:
===>24 ads of goggle-eyed monkey<===
In the words of the Elders: "That don't make no damn sense."
It felt like some sort of assault, an invasion, all that freakin' yellow and that ape with the binoculars. I would have stayed out longer, but I got so damned tired of seeing that trick-ass chimp, I raced back home to get away from it all.
Curiously, the Curious George billboards seemed to be placed in pairs. If you see one, odds are there's another one a block away. Then you might go four blocks, and suddenly two more similarly-spaced simians smack you in the face.
Are you sick of seeing that ad yet?
I'm sure Universal probably intended this to have some sort of subliminal effect of making people feel compelled to see George after having been conditioned by all that signage, however, it's had the opposite effect on me. The last thing I want to see is that ape. I feel like he's stalking me. Stalking is never good. EVER. I've been running from this monkey. Why would I pay money now to go and see him?
Note to the marketing department behind this obnoxious campaign: peel some of them bitches back. Kids are probably having nightmares about that creature peering at them with those lenses. Parents are going to be shocked when they get their children in the theater and, the second George appears on screen, the whole place bursts into screams of terror.
Curious George, my ass. He's a fucking peeping Tom.
Pervy monkey.
Universal Pictures: Curious George |
posted by Lo @ 9:34 AM   |
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| 7 Comments: |
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roflmao!!! Lo - the trick-ass chimp is out to get yo loot... this is how our generation x get's caught up! they hypnotizing and seducing you - to be first in line on opening day - lol
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Lo: you must admit to your loyal readers that even though Universal was showing you the monkey all over the place, that you didn't even see 1 billboard until a certain someone pointed out that we had monkeys peeping at us all over the place! Please cure my sense of existential curious george angst! ha ha...
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Jen, woops...I mean, Anonymous is right, people. I didn't notice ANY of the monkeys the first go 'round. We were driving around LA (forever, huh, Jen?), and she pointed it out to me. But what did she want to do THAT for, because now the monkeys are coming at from at every turn. Jen showed me the monkeys, and now the monkeys won't stop!!!
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why don't y'all just spank the monkey, then all will be well...hee-hee! ;-)
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and now that I'm back in New York, the monkeys are on cabs! and commercials! But LA is truly plastered with monkeys, they've hit monkey saturation and then some. Seems like someone in marketing thought they better go big after King Kong!
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"LA is truly plastered with monkeys, they've hit monkey saturation and then some."
ROFL!!! Okay, that sh*t has me ON THE FLOOR!!! Girl, if you don't get your Anonymous butt on a comedy stage soon, I'm going to march you onto one by force!!
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Don't nobody bet not say nothin bad about Curious George. That's my boy!
You guys are killing me! :-)
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Name: Lolita Files
Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
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roflmao!!! Lo - the trick-ass chimp is out to get yo loot... this is how our generation x get's caught up! they hypnotizing and seducing you - to be first in line on opening day - lol