| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| Flex-Release, Flex-Release, OUCH!!!, Flex-Release... |
| Friday, March 03, 2006 |
Heard Wendy Williams talking about this thing on her radio show today. She said it had been recommended to her by Dr. Hilda Hutcherson.
 Here's what the description says:FemTone Vaginal Weights are weights that are used during Kegel exercises. FemTone Vaginal Weights are a set of five reusable, tampon-like, sterile cones of identical size and shape but of increasing weight.
FemTone weights when used during Kegel exercises (contracting the pelvic floor muscles) have been found to strengthen the pelvic floor and may improve urinary continence. Many women who utilize Vaginal Weights see marked results in trying to overcome incontinence. The FemTone Vaginal Weights are market leaders in this category.
Vaginal weights act as a training aid to Kegel exercises. These weights help women identify and exercise the appropriate muscle groups responsible for maintaining continence. By exercising these muscles many women have found they can overcome incontinence.
We have just been informed that this product was mentioned on the Oprah show. Many Urologists, Gynecologists, and Sex Therapists recommend vaginal cones to restore lost muscular condition in the pelvic area. We certainly welcome all of Oprah's viewers to ShopInPrivate.com. We are working hard to fill your orders quickly and (of course) privately. This is my favorite part:Please note that due to the nature of this product it is not returnable. As if you'd get your cooch all 'roided out and capable of bending steel, and then send the shit back. As if.
Wendy said something about how, when you're using this thing at full potential, you'll be walking around with the equivalent of a five-pound bag of sugar in your snatch (my word, not hers).
 Can't be much worse than a couple of my over-packing exes.
Yep, you guessed it. That's the reason they're exes.
FemTone Vaginal Weights
The Wendy Williams Experience |
posted by Lo @ 6:27 PM   |
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| 14 Comments: |
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wow....what will they think of next?
FELLAS!!....if you ask your babycakes to "break you off some", be careful for what you ask for.
"SNAP!"
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ROFL!!! ROFL!!! Lance, you are too quick-witted and funny for me!! You and Jen, er, Anonymous should put your heads together. You'd make a killer comedy act.
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Gives new meaning to "ball buster"
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LOL - yau'll are so crazy! I totally agree with u Lo on the exes. I ain't down with having all that. no pain no gain doent work for me! u only get one cookie and its best not to break it. I can say this is a product I am scared to even think about trying. It must be for those who have had one arm size penis too many...
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Okay, so you gonna think I made this up but last night I was watching television and heard a segment about coochie cosmetic surgery. There is a procedure called lazer vaginal rejuvination (sp?) and there is a brother who developed this technique in response to a patient who was complaining about lack of muscle control after having her 4th child. Well, she came back and said her sex life was NOW great. Why? Because he had shrunk her coochie. So this brother has turned this into a total cottage industry and trains other gynecological plastic surgeons to do this procedure ALONG WITH hymen repair for the girls who wants to "LIKE A VIRGIN". His facility is in LA. I am on may way to a class in Baltimore but when I get back I'll have to google him. I am sure they have a web site.
So, listening to you ladies I guess there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. LOL, but recently I was talking to my daughter who has a 4 month old son and she and her brother were talking about her baby daddy. The basics were they were talking about penis size and my daughter said she wasn't "lucky" because her baby daddy didn't have a "big one." Well, I replied that it obviously works because you now have a "little one" but that Big Dicks were overrated. I then gave her a little anatomy lesson and told her too much meat definitely wasn't good for you . . . all that knocking and banging in a closed in space just ain't what was intended.
Peace
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I couldn't resist. The place is called "Lazer Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of Los Angeles" The web site is www.drmatlock.com.
Lo, you got to check this one out, they offer "Designer Vaginoplasty" and financing is available.
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Dr. ShrunkenCooch!!! ROFL!! ROFL!! ROFL!! What's his slogan? "Making the planet better...one tighter cooch at a time"??? I love it!!!
On the real, LBoogie, you never lied about us getting only one cookie and we'd better not break it. I'll never forget the first time I saw "a monster." No lie, I saw its shadow against the wall first---the silhouette---and I honestly, truly thought it was the brother's arm. When I realized that it wasn't and that it was gunning for me (and this wasn't a forced sex situation...this was a 'first time' with my then-boyfriend), I began to cry, which scared said brother TO DEFFFFFFF. He held me, comforted me, and tried apologize for the terror he was packing between his legs, but I wasn't tryna hear it. A girl shouldn't have to get an epidural first just to get her boogie on, noam sayin'? But that's another story, Black...
People always like to talk about, "But babies come outta there." Yeah, but you don't ever see them pushing a baby back in. There's a reason for that. I don't think our "business" was designed with reverse technology in mind.
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wowwwww! sex-ed 101 up in hurr...
good to hear from "real" experiences and not just to shout out myths on sex.
anudda word verif: tclvdept
where the hell is that?!
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That's what we do up in "hurr," Lance. Speak truth to power. A monster is a monster, don't matter if it's attached to a friend.
Word verification: picye
Say it real fast with a soft "c." Yeah. I think y'all get what I'm sayin'. Now that one's reallll suspicious.
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Juan! I am so proud to hear about you and your daughters relationships. I would give you a standing ovation but the true is youare doing what youare suppose to do - THANK YOU (i am a daddy's gurl).
Lo I am so sorry that big dick tried to attack you gurl! Wow I am sure he has broke a many cookies... Hhehehee! Wow!
Juan I looed at some hymen surgeries before and after... scared the shit out of me their coochies look like BERYL!!!!!!!!! That would have been her next move right Lo.
Thank God for technology cause broken cookies (coochies) are FUGGLY AS HELL! If you never seen one, don't eat first! PUN INTENDE - lol
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hey y'all, lboogie got jokes. she jumped all over me like "sadie" on "madea" and now she's talkin' trash, like mo'nique....what you sippin' on lboogie?
go on lboogie, sing that song gal...
"early one sunnnn-day mornin'"...lol
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ROFL!!! LBoogie is a riot!!! But you're right girl...that monster I first dealt with has probably crushed many a cookie throughout his day. I guess that makes him a Cookie Monster.
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... when dis life is ooooover, i'll fly awaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Hows that Lance (smiling). Every coin has 2 sides. Keep it tight! and beware the horrid cookie monster - roflmao!
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wow....what will they think of next?
FELLAS!!....if you ask your babycakes to "break you off some", be careful for what you ask for.
"SNAP!"