A groovy place in cyberspace run by author Lolita Files. Come on in. Bring some Pepsi.
Lo Fun Fact #1
"Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita".
Lo Fun Fact #2
I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins.
Lo Fun Fact #3
Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all?
Lo Fun Fact #4
I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay?
Lo Fun Fact #5
I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!!
Lo Fun Fact #6
I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position.
Lo Fun Fact #7
I have fourfive six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have fourfive six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond.
In Praise Of Men.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
The good ones, anyway. Y'all go through so much to be with us. This is for y'all. (Some of you may have seen this before. Still, I think this cartoon is both telling and funny as hell.)
Wow, that was a HUSTLE-N-FLOWISH THINGS ARE HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMPISH DOCU-DRAMA! All except the end. It was slightly exaggerated. When he said "I have money!" She would have said "I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND A WHORE YOU TAKE ME FOR..." then he would have immediately had to spit out a dollar amount followed by a FICO score over 750. Then she would have said " STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ME!" as she snatched his nuts off. To even hint that it's possiable to satisfy a woman made it FOLLY.
Shame on the creators of that piece of work!!! Happy woman is a oxymoron! That kind of hopeful false encouragement is the cause hundreds or maybe even thousands of innocent bank accounts being senselessly murdered everyday!!!
lo, that was MAD FUNNY!!!! ....but i still got luv fo y'all!!!!
to quote gary busey's character "dell" in "D.C. Cab"...towards an irate female cabfare..." I don't understand why women always mad. Y'all got half the money and all the pussy!"....lol classic.
Y'all have got me ROLLIN'!!!!!!! Bumblelicious, your reworked ending had me SCREAMIN'!!!!! That's totally how it should have closed out!!! Love your part about that over 750 FICO score and the snatching off of the nuts. Welcome to the madness that is the comments section of The Lo Zone. You brawt-it brawt-it FA SHO!!!!
And Anonymous with the Happy woman oxymoron comment...hey, what can we say. But I know how y'all can get close to putting "Happy" and "woman" in the same sentence. Just throw the words "expensive" and "shoes" in there. Don't even try to make it make sense, 'cause even we can't. There's just something about hearing the register ring up a pair of Weitzmans, Blahniks, Zanottis, oh my!!! I'm just sayin'...
Juan, sorry for Betty, Jan, and Wanda. I think, at certain times in my life, I was somebody's Betty, Jan, or Wanda. But I never skinned and salted, double-eye-stabbed, or bit the head off those who didn't deserve it. A girl's gotta operate on the defense these days. It's a danjus wurl out there.
And yeah, Lance, we do have all the pussy, but these days, a lot of the times, we have to have all the money too, and that can make a woman madder than ten muhfuckas.
Okay, this shit is KRAZY. My word verification for this post is...
DAMN, THEY GOT ALL THE PUSSY, ALL THE MONEY NOW?!!! IT'S OVER FELLAS, GET READY, CAUSE IT'S COMIN'. NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY GON' DRIVE US MEN FOLK RIGHT BACK INTO SLAVERY.
i can see me standing buck-nekkid on the auction block now...drinking a pepsi
FEMALE AUCTIONEER: how much y'all want for the this here man. bidding starts NOW!
she slams down the gavel BAMM!!!!
LO: FIVE!!!!!
FEMALE AUCTIONEER: five thousand. can i get five thousand fifty.
LO: HOLD UP! HOLD UP! FIVE THOUSAND?!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!! I MEANT FIVE DOLLARS.
First off, it is not that unpleasant for men to run up on so many woman. Com'on. He wasn't happily running from Jill to Betty because his heart was getting torn out. He was getting much more out of it than they were. Which is why they nicely preceded to tear his head off. I'd like to see the other version where right before (insert woman's name here) shoots him, she found out that he was screwing (insert woman's name here).
mmm, do I detect some bitter batter annonymous? Perhaps if we look at them as individual scenarios and not the same guy trying and trying again because thinking of it that way one would have to wonder what's wrong with old boy.
Couldn't he, LBoogie? But he just kept it movin' when it came to the big'un. He stopped for a hot second like he might kick her some action, but then dude rolled on and proceeded to get shot, stabbed, and skinned and salted, suffering all manner of indignities. That chubby chick might have treated him like a prince, but he had to go for the stick figure bitter bitches.
Ha hah ah - Like Mo'nique said skinny bitch are evil - lol. I've been both so I can chime in on both sides of the fence! I am finally MEDIUM(I think).
Lance your new name is "Brother Lance X Shabazz" from lost tribe of Zulu warriors. Militant azz, fight the power, black panther, NOI. I just love it! Go Brah!
Lance is militant like a mofo, ain't he? But he's logical about it. He's not just spouting "Black people are persecuted!!" at the wind. Everything he talks about makes practical sense and there's a trail we can all follow to understand the foundation of whatever it is he protests (which isn't always race-related). Lance is special indeed, with his NOI azz.
I can't view the cartoon either, but I'll give props to the Sista' Lo if indeed she's sending a shout out to Black men (we're all good our behavior though is directly tied to what Black women relect off of us).
I'm always shouting out the brothers, Real Brother. I'm down for y'all twelve million percent. I was surrounded and influenced by black men on all fronts as I growing up, from my daddy to my brother to my uncles and my cousins and my friends, so I got nuthin' but love. Shonuf, shonuf!!
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
Wow, that was a HUSTLE-N-FLOWISH THINGS ARE HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMPISH DOCU-DRAMA!
All except the end. It was slightly exaggerated. When he said "I have money!" She would have said "I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND A WHORE YOU TAKE ME FOR..." then he would have immediately had to spit out a dollar amount followed by a FICO score over 750. Then she would have said " STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ME!" as she snatched his nuts off. To even hint that it's possiable to satisfy a woman made it FOLLY.