| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| The White Shorts. |
| Wednesday, March 29, 2006 |
First off, I want to express that I am by no means knocking my last publisher with this post. I had a great experience with them. They were all very nice people whom I genuinely liked, and I made good friends over there. I published three books with them---Blind Ambitions, Child of God, and Tastes Like Chicken, which is the book I'm about to discuss.
 This was just one of those things that falls under, um, artistic viewpoint, I suppose. It also has to do with the nature of the business as well, particularly in regard to books by authors of color and how they are packaged. This could have happened at any publishing house (and probably does every day).
When Tastes Like Chicken, my fifth novel, was coming down the pike, something very interesting happened when we got to the stage where a cover was being selected.
As many of you know, Chicken was a follow-up to my first two books, Scenes From A Sistah and Getting To The Good Part, both of which feature the characters Misty Fine and Reesy Snowden, both of whom have quite a loyal fan base. Reesy is the saltier, more adventurous of the two characters, having dabbled in pole-hunching lap-riding skrippin' exotic dancing at one point, despite the fact that she is a classically-trained dancer, possesses a post-graduate degree in Business, and has parents who are social, financial, and professional pillars of the South Florida community. She's a bit out there, although I don't think she ever really gets pornographic, per se. Just edgy. Real, real edgy.
Well, I think that used-to-be-a-skripper exotic dancer thing threw the publisher, because that seemed to be what was primarily on their minds when I was presented with their first recommendation for a cover. I was so excited when I was told they'd come up with something they all loved and just knew I would flip over. When the picture was e-mailed to me, I could barely wait for it to download. Imagine my shawe (yeah, that's a blend of shock and awe), when the following filled my computer screen:
 [click image to enlarge the black-assed goodness; click once more to really freak out]
Took me a solid ten minutes to reinflate my lungs. They just collapsed. For real.
So these are the infamous white shorts. Whenever I forget how fortunate I am to have the absolutely stunning cover I have right now...
 ...(uh, and I NEVER forget)...
...I just look at this...
...and think about how things MIGHT HAVE BEEN.
There but by the grace of God goes my cover.
Of course, it could have been worse. She could have had camel toe. Or bumps on her booty. (She is cutting mad cheese, though. What's up with that?)
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posted by Lo @ 9:42 AM   |
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| 11 Comments: |
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are you serious lo?
is that a white-ass in black face? what sistahs ass dat flat? c'mon people...ain't enuff hot sauce in the world to get that ass to taste like chicken....even if it had PERDUE stamp'd on it!
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ROFL!!!!!!!! Lance, you are officially RETARDED!!!! "A white-ass in black face"?????? OMG!!! I'm on the floor!!!
On the real, tho', I don't have a big ass. I'm a member of that obscure tribe of black folks, The LackaBadunkadunks. All my assets went upfront, Pam Anderson-style (thought not as big, and mine are real).
But, for the record, that's DEFINITELY not my ass in that pic!!
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yeah, but still....sistahs with flat butts, usually accentuate it with something else, nice face, breast, legs, etc. but from THAT ANGLE????....fuhgettaboutit!!!!!
by the way, does anyone tire iron to "pop" out that wedgy?!
ANYONE?!!!!
I'LL PAY!!!!.... ;-P
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by the way, lo...are you guys going to sell those t-shirts you premiered in NY?
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Yes, I'm going to ultimately have some done and have them (and other products) featured here on the site.
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kewl beens....look forward to it
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Hell naw! Lance U are a fool!
--"ain't enuff hot sauce in the world to get that ass to taste like chicken" - Lance
That is the worst azz I have ever seen. I thought Beryl was white - ROFLMAO
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I truly believe that Black is beatiful in its many variations, but that black azz is a liar. I rebuke thee.
Lo, on the real. Your former publishers are cool in general, but that cover was so not what the book was about. It's amazing how you can spot one of our books from across the room, but you blew the fuck out of that stereotype with your new tome. Team Amistad ROCKS!
And, yes, my man Lance is officially retarded.
Juan
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ROFL!!! Aw damn...Juan just rebuked that azz!!! ROFL!!! Classic!!!
On the real tho', you're right about Team Amistad. They ain't nuthin' but the truth. The blew it out with that Sex.Lies. cover. They "got it," on every level there is to "get it." That's the best feeling an author could ever have.
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ain't nuffin' wrong wif being retarded, HELL! sling blade won oscar!... (;-P
(pubuoo) <---- EXACTLY!!!...LOL!!!
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True dat, Lance.
(jgtrnzxm) <===I'on know...I think I see "jiggr" in there.
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are you serious lo?
is that a white-ass in black face? what sistahs ass dat flat? c'mon people...ain't enuff hot sauce in the world to get that ass to taste like chicken....even if it had PERDUE stamp'd on it!