| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is. |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| Pass The Sizzurp. |
| Wednesday, April 26, 2006 |
I didn't expect them to Jemima her up so quickly, but...oh well.
 It was fun while it lasted.
 Wow. The resemblance is truly uncanny.
Faded Youth.com: Africa Has Never Been So Beautiful |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| 10 Comments: |
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naaah, can't be. i think ol' charles was fugg'd up on the sizzrup and just call'd her a nigger for no reason at all (a term of endearment,so to speak). keep in mind, penn said it and it wasn't a problem with mercury....lol
there's niggers, niggas and niggaz...the latter are the ones you BETTER watch out for!!!
my peoples, my peoples....lol
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What are you trippin off of, that's some good syrup! Pass me another biscuit.
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Have you seen my biscuits, Rich? Aunt Jemima goes real good with them. Check them out in this prior blog post:
http://www.lolitafiles.com/2006/03/return-of-rat-eater.html
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I truly enjoyed "return of rat eater". I just left Leesburg, Fl (now you know that's the country)at the beginning of April and my Aunt Fleeter (her real name) gave me a bottle of Alaga syrup. I haven't had it in years, they don't sell it here or maybe my wife just doesn't buy it. Anyway, would you believe I left it in the doggone rental car, so much for finger lickin' good.
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"Aunt Fleeter"?!!!! Wow. I had an Aunt Ploog (yup, it's pronounced just like you see it), but Fleeter might be sweeter.
I would have been in hysterics if I left a bottle of Alaga in a rental car. About thirteen years ago, in 1993 when I still worked for KinderCare, I was in Woburn (the Boston area), checking out the playground we were redoing at one of the centers. A team of my employees were digging up the ground with trucks. One of them struck something. I came over and picked it up. It was a gigantic femur---surely some kind dinosaur leg bone. Enormous. We were all in shock. I took it and put it on the floor in the backseat of my rental car, visions of international acclaim and riches dancing in my head. Later that day, I went to visit my cousins in nearby Mattapan and let my cousin Dawn braid my hair. It was an all-night job that went into morning, and I immediately rushed to the airport that a.m. to fly back to home to Montgomery, AL. I settled into first class for a nice sleep. Suddenly I woke up and realized I had turned the rental car in with dinosaur bone in the back. I was DEVASTATED. As soon as I landed, I called Avis in Boston, asking about the bone. Nobody knew anything. Yeah, right. Mr. Avis probably got rich off my bone. Who knows what kind of dinosaur that was. It could have even been a Bigmuthaf*ckasaurus, like they just discovered last week.
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My ex-wife claims she's discovered many "giant bones" in the back seats of rental cars.
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ROFL!!! ROFL!!! Oh sh*t, oh sh*t, oh sh*t!!!!
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damn matt, it was like that?...gud lawd son!!!!
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My ex-wife put the "ass" in Jurassic....
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Lo - you wrong gurl - lol...
I will be making your biscuits real soon... wish me luck and plan to bring yo ass to the reception at least and drop it like its hot one time - lol
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naaah, can't be. i think ol' charles was fugg'd up on the sizzrup and just call'd her a nigger for no reason at all (a term of endearment,so to speak). keep in mind, penn said it and it wasn't a problem with mercury....lol
there's niggers, niggas and niggaz...the latter are the ones you BETTER watch out for!!!
my peoples, my peoples....lol