The Lo Zone

A groovy place in cyberspace run by author Lolita Files. Come on in. Bring some Pepsi.

 
Lo Fun Fact #1
"Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita".
Lo Fun Fact #2
I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of Christian Louboutins.
Lo Fun Fact #3
Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all?
Lo Fun Fact #4
I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.)
Lo Fun Fact #5
I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!!
Lo Fun Fact #6
I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position.
Lo Fun Fact #7
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond.
A Classic Case Of "Methinks Thou Dost Protest Too Much."
Friday, November 03, 2006
Why does it keep turning out that the folks who are the most anti-gay or anti-pedophile are neither?

The leader of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals, a vocal opponent of same-sex marriage, resigned Thursday after being accused of paying for sex with a man in monthly trysts over the past three years.

The Rev. Ted Haggard, a married father of five who has been called one of the most influential evangelical Christians in the nation, denied the allegations.
"Denied the allegations"? Then why the heck did he step down? If he was innocent, he would fight tooth-and-nail, knowing that God and his faith were on his side. People only step down when they know some sh*t is about to hit the fan.
The allegations come as voters in Colorado and seven other states get ready to decide Tuesday on amendments banning gay marriage.

[...]

Mike Jones, 49, of Denver told The Associated Press he decided to go public with his allegations because of the political fight. Jones, who said he is gay, said he was upset when he discovered Haggard and the New Life Church had publicly opposed same-sex marriage.

"It made me angry that here's someone preaching about gay marriage and going behind the scenes having gay sex," said Jones, who added that he isn't working for any political group.

Jones, whose allegations were first aired on KHOW-AM radio in Denver, claimed Haggard paid him to have sex nearly every month over three years. Jones also said Haggard snorted methamphetamine before their sexual encounters to heighten his experience.
It's always the holiest rollers and the ones who seem most steadfast and loyal who've got something to hide. It's almost becoming predictable now. In the movie The Godfather...

...Don Corleone (Marlon Brando) tells Michael (Al Pacino)---his son and heir apparent (actually, he was the heir unapparent until he turned out to be the baddest mofo of all)---that the one who comes to tell him about the meeting with Barzini will be the betrayer. One of Don Corleone's very own men, Tessio (played by Abe Vigoda), is the one who tells Michael about the meeting...

...thus revealing himself to be the worm.

I contend that Reverend Ted Haggard...

...Mark Foley, former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey, and more are all Tessios, only they make more noise. They come a-running to us warning that they're fighting for morality and what's biblically right, meanwhile they're doing all manner of things---the very things they claim to abhor---behind closed doors.

Remember people, sometimes the ones who raise the most hell about things...DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!! They're the ones!!!

*Why is it, in almost all instances, these holier-than-thou hellraisers are men?

Houston Chronicle: Key Evangelical quits amid gay sex claim
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM  
11 Comments:
  • At November 3, 2006 6:07 AM, Anonymous Juan G said…

    Food for thought. If Mark Foley felt confident that his style of life (note I didn't say lifestyle) would not have been affected if he lived as an openly gay man do you think there is a possibility that he may not have been lusting after innocent pages who were seduced by his perceived power.

    The subject of this post probably wouldn't have paid for sex in secret if he could have lived openly however he chose to live.

    Ever notice how the few openly-gay politicians never have a scandal associated with their names?

    Now this doesn't mean to imply that all freaks and perverts have earned a "get out of jail free" card but it is worth considering.

    When I was a teenager my mother gave me my first joint (no, she didn't smoke). She told told me she never wanted anyone telling her that they saw her child in the street drinking or doing drugs. If I was to drink or smoke (cigs or bud) then I should do it at home. My mother only had a high school education but her reverse psychology worked. I tried the joint (it was some good shit) but after that rarely smoked and only took a drink once. Even today I hardly ever drink -- the thrill of the sneak was removed so long ago that it lost its appeal.

    But back to Lo's original point. I agree, usually it's the loadest wheel that has the most to hide.

     
  • At November 3, 2006 9:47 AM, Blogger Girly_Girl said…

    "Beware the man who prays and sings the loudest in church, for he shakes hands with the celebrant on the way out of church and goes home and beats his kids and is screwing his neighbors wife, drinks himself to sleep at night and wakes in the morning to a pot of coffee and a snort of cocaine (or oxycontin)."

    Read that somewhere, thought it was appropriate.

     
  • At November 3, 2006 9:50 AM, Blogger Girly_Girl said…

    On the real, though, and maybe my 'gaydar' is working overtime...

    Doesn't this Ted Haggard guy look highly suspicious? I mean that cheesy grin and those manic eyes? Somehow, I'm not surprised at all that he turned out to be playing for the other team...

     
  • At November 3, 2006 12:35 PM, Anonymous Juan G said…

    g-g, I think you have your gaydar mixed up with your freakdar . . . there is definitely something freaky about his picture

     
  • At November 3, 2006 4:41 PM, Blogger Lindsey Lou said…

    Maybe they grew up in environments that would never be tolerant of homosexuality, and so they were so frightened of their own sexuality that they try to convince themselves otherwise by taking the most extreme opposite approach.

    Sure doesn't explain the pedophilia, though, 'cause that's just wrong.

    Also, I happen to think that this is pretty good evidence that being gay isn't a choice. Why would someone with so much to lose "choose" to do risk it all with a scandal like this if he wasn't attracted to men?

     
  • At November 3, 2006 8:34 PM, Anonymous Juan G said…

    lindsey lou you make an excellent point about the choie/born argument.

    Can't say I've seen you before, welcome to the Lo Zone.

     
  • At November 4, 2006 2:47 AM, Blogger Lo said…

    Lindsey Lou's posted before, Juan G., although it's been awhile. Good to see you, Lindsey Lou!!

     
  • At November 4, 2006 4:42 AM, Blogger Lance said…

    When I was a teenager my mother gave me my first joint (no, she didn't smoke).....My mother only had a high school education but her reverse psychology worked. I tried the joint (it was some good shit) but after that rarely smoked and only took a drink once. Even today I hardly ever drink

    hey, fugg dat gay shit...this is THE REAL STORY HERE....mannnnnn, if my mom would have done that, shiiiit, i would have been more famous at school than rick james! "BUSTIN' OUT!!!!"

     
  • At November 4, 2006 4:46 AM, Blogger Lance said…

    per cut/paste...that previous quote was from juan (about the joint)

    now, if it was MY MOM....she woulda kick'd my ass for smokin' it, let alone bringing it home!!!!

    ain't no reverse psychology there brudda, unless you consider an ass whuppin' a youthful fetish for BDSM!

     
  • At November 4, 2006 4:40 PM, Blogger Matt said…

    There must be a lot of money involved in this as I saw him interviewed about the entire thing in his car, in front of his wife and kids! If he'd been married to a sista, they would've had to interview him from the ICU.

    And to be honest, I've never blaimed the charlatans for the power they derive. This gaybait had 30 MILLION followers! So many people around this planet have such a great desire to be led, they'll hook their wagons to any cretin that exudes charisma. But honestly, when you see these people speak, like this Haggard guy, or Pat Robertson, don't the hairs on the back of your neck stand up? I guess Haggard felt he'd fucked so many others over the years, it was his turn to take it up the wazoo! Whoa!

     
  • At November 4, 2006 4:58 PM, Blogger Matt said…

    And Juan and Lance,

    If my mother had caught me smoking a joint she would've beat me senseless, all the while exclaiming, "OH! Hiding the good shit from me, ehhhh?"

    I miss my momma.

     
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About Me

Name: Lolita Files

Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States

About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.

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