| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.) |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| In Favor Of A Knifeless Kitchen, A Home With No Phones...And A Divorce. |
| Tuesday, October 31, 2006 |
 A judge denied bail Sunday for a South Side father of five accused of repeatedly stabbing his wife after discovering she was talking to another man on the telephone.
James Rodgers, 47, of the 8000 block of South Dobson Avenue was charged with attempted first-degree murder. He is accused of dragging his wife by the neck to their kitchen Thursday night and stabbing her with a steak knife until the knife broke. Rodgers continued to stab her with a butcher knife, hit her in the head and strangled choked her, Cook County Assistant State's Atty. Karin Swanson said Sunday in Cook County Bond Court.
When their 3-year-old son walked in, Rodgers pushed him away and ordered the boy back to his room, prosecutors said. The woman was stabbed 15 times, including in her shoulder, breasts, neck and abdomen, Swanson said. She was taken to Northwestern Memorial Hospital in serious condition and underwent emergency surgery.
A witness who was unable to stop the attack called police, and Rodgers surrendered when authorities arrived, Swanson said. According to court records, he did not remember how he got the knife but told police, "I stabbed her because I was angry with her." Oh. Well that explains everything. He was "angry." Who are these entitled, insecure nuts?
Chicago Tribune: No bail for angry husband |
posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   |
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| Give Us This Day Your Daily Bread. |
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 When Johnny Anderson and two accomplices saw churchgoers filing into Israel of God's Church on the West Side two weeks ago, they were struck with an idea, police said Monday: Let's rob the church.
Anderson is accused of doing just that, interrupting a rollicking Wednesday night service by putting his gun to a man's head, firing a shot into the ceiling and threatening to shoot children if churchgoers didn't hand over their valuables.
"It was an opportunistic time for them to commit this robbery," said Steve Peterson, commander of Harrison Area detectives. "As far as we know, there was no planning." Aside from being dumb enough to get caught, these guys were actually thinking quick on their feet. At any given time, particularly Sunday, the church's coffers are a freaking jackpot. What with all that plate passing and building fund donating, it's a wonder more churches aren't hit up on a regular basis.
Chicago Tribune: Bond denied for man charged in church heist |
posted by Lo @ 11:42 AM   |
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| Take A Pill, Feel Free To Spill. |
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 Scientists have developed a chemical contraceptive that temporarily blocks the development of sperm but does not interfere with testosterone levels in men.
Trials on laboratory animals, according to a media report, have shown that the contraceptive effect is reversible and that there are no apparent long-term side-effects. Scientists hope that trials of the new male contraceptive could begin within the next few years. This comes as no real consolation in an age rampant with STDs and HIV. Still, I wonder how many men in monogamous relationships would be willing to take the pill instead of relying on their woman to take hers. Old dogs, new tricks. You know how that goes.
Hindustan Times: Coming soon: A male contraceptive pill |
posted by Lo @ 10:34 AM   |
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| Boo, B*tches!!!!!!! |
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Happy Halloween!!!
Go Batsh*t!!! Have fun!!!
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| With A Mayor Named "Slay," It Was Kind Of Inevitable. |
| Monday, October 30, 2006 |

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posted by Lo @ 11:49 AM   |
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| Whatever Happened To Plain Old Expulsion? |
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 A 30-year-old Ghanaian man could be jailed for up to five years after writing his wife's paper in a science exam, police in the West African country said on Wednesday.
Kofi Ochere and his wife Christiana Yeboah, 28, a teacher, had both registered for the exam at the Presbyterian Secondary School in Legon, a suburb of the capital Accra.
But Ochere, who did not need the qualification, offered to write his wife's paper while she wrote his.
"He feared the woman would not do well. But at the examination hall, they noted the paper had a feminine name," police spokesman Beneso Darkwa said.
The two had been arrested while investigations continued.
"Both of them could go to jail ... the maximum sentence is five years," he said.
So far eight people had been arrested in Accra for pretending to be someone else during exams run by the West African Examinations Council for private secondary school candidates, Darkwa said.
Many pupils for private schools in Ghana are people who did not have an opportunity to go to school as children. Wow. Good thing they don't practice this in the states. I've helped folks get a leg up on something things and happily watched them thrive as a result. I don't know if I considered it "cheating," as much as I did allowing them access. What they did after the fact to take fair advantage of the opportunity was on them. While helping some of them (my bad, Mel...I should have said, "while being of service to some of them") who had hidden agendas did invariably bite me in the butt a few times, at least it wasn't jail, just a lesson learned. Ghana needs to lighten up.
Yahoo News: Science exam a test of love... |
posted by Lo @ 10:35 AM   |
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| I Say They Come Out With Pepsi-Fried Chicken. |
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Pepsi better get on the stick if it plans to keep up, because there's a new sheriff in town treat at the fair---it's got Coke in it, and it's fried---and if this thing doesn't give you a stroke and diabetes as you're eating it, I don't know what will.
Abel Gonzales, 36, a computer analyst from Dallas, tried about 15 different varieties before coming up with his perfect recipe -- a batter mix made with Coca-Cola syrup, a drizzle of strawberry syrup, and some strawberries.
Balls of the batter are then deep-fried, ending up like ping-pong ball sized doughnuts which are then served in a cup, topped with Coca-Cola syrup, whipped cream, cinnamon sugar and a cherry on the top.
"It tastes great," said Sue Gooding, a spokeswoman for the State Fair of Texas where Gonzales' fried Coke made its debut this fall. "It was a huge success." Fried Coke. Yum-o. Should go great with Pepsi-flavored fried chicken on a stick.
Reuters: Because we don't already have enough fried foods.. |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Friday Flashback. |
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I love classic rock just as much as I love R&B and hip-hop. So today I figured we'd rock out with a song from one of my favorite 80's supergroups, Journey.
...had a voice to die for---one of the greatest in rock history---the kind that soared to heights that filled an arena and made you feel every word he sang right down to your very bones.
The song I chose, from their 1981 album, Escape...
...is called "Who's Crying Now." I've always loved this song, and I never get tired of Steve Perry's voice. This is a live performance from 1981. Enjoy!!!
Amazon.com: Journey: Escape |
posted by Lo @ 11:49 AM   |
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| Please, Oh Please, Let This Be True. |
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Democrats lead in U.S. election: Reuters poll
While the Democratic platform could use a few tweaks, it's a helluva lot better than the hotbed of lies, hell-in-a-handbasket state we're living in now. Democrats aren't warmongers and won't sell their mother up the river for a dollar...at least not in the collective way this administration does.
Please let the people wake up this time around. If they vote the Republicans back into power, my faith in the sanity of the American public will be thoroughly crushed.
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posted by Lo @ 10:34 AM   |
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| Gimme A Friggin' Break. |
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People try to come up with a medical excuse for everything. If this isn't the biggest crock of sh*t, I don't know what is.
Researchers are struggling to understand a rare medical condition where sufferers unknowingly demand, or actually have, sex while asleep, New Scientist magazine reported on Wednesday.
Research into sexsomnia -- making sexual advances toward another person while asleep -- has been hampered as sufferers are so embarrassed by the problem they tend not to own up to it, while doctors do not ask about it.
As yet there is no cure for the condition, which often leads to difficulties in relationships. Every guy I've ever dated, with the exception of one, has attempted, demanded, or actually had sex while I was asleep, so why is there no medical term for that? Huh?
'Sexsomnia,' my ass. It's called 'night horniness.' End of subject.
Reuters: "Sexsomniacs" puzzle medical researchers |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| When A Man Loves A Woman. |
| Thursday, October 26, 2006 |
This is the kind of love a woman hopes for.
 Jermaine Dupri — superproducer, rapper, and the boyfriend of — has confirmed to The Associated Press that he has quit as a top executive at Jackson's label, Virgin Records, amid disappointing sales of Jackson's new album.
"Since there are so many rumors running rampant about my position at Virgin Records, I feel that it is necessary to set the record straight," Dupri said Wednesday in a statement released to the AP. "I was not forced out of the company, I made a decision that it was in my best interest to leave."
Dupri became head of urban music at Virgin, a unit of EMI Group PLC, just last year. His abrupt departure comes after the underwhelming performance of Jackson's latest release, "20 Y.O." Dupri was an executive producer of the record and helped determine its creative vision, along with Jackson and her longtime producers, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis.
Jackson's album failed to debut at the top of the charts last month, then steadily fell. It has sold 443,000 copies since its release Sept. 26, according to Nielsen SoundScan. Jackson's 2001 album, "All for You," debuted at No. 1 with more than 605,000 copies sold in a single week.
Coming after the flat performance of 2004's "Damita Jo" and Jackson's infamous Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction, "20 Y.O." was seen as an opportunity for Jackson to re-establish herself as the multiplatinum hitmaker she has been for most of her 20-year-plus career. Now that's love. How many men will quit their jobs for their women? For love? In this day where the dollar seems to rule everything, it's refreshing to see that the heart can prevail.
AP: Dupri quits as Virgin Records executive |
posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   |
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| Uh, And What Do They Call What They've Already Been Doing? |
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I mean, sheesh. I'm surprised there's no barista behind a counter holding a Frappuccino when I step out of the bathtub.
Starbucks Corp.'s recently announced goal of having 40,000 stores worldwide isn't just about spreading green awnings through middle America, the Middle East and other areas of the world not yet tempted by easy access to mocha Frappuccinos and pumpkin spice lattes.
The coffee chain's aggressive growth also hinges on what the company calls "infill" — adding stores in cities where its mermaid logo is already commonplace. In some cases, that means putting a Starbucks within a block of an existing store, if not closer.
They're not gonna be satisfied until everybody's strung out on their hopped-up coffee.
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posted by Lo @ 11:46 AM   |
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| How Long Is Too Long? |
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Why does it take so long to execute serial killers? They commit multiple murders, yet, once they're captured, often live a decade or more with appeals, stays, extensions, etc.
 Danny H. Rolling, 52, was pronounced dead at 6:13 p.m. at Florida State Prison in Starke, about 30 miles northeast of Gainesville. Witnesses said he stared toward them and sang a hymn-type song just before the drugs were administered.
“Maybe now that we don’t have this on us,” said Dianna Hoyt, the stepmother of one victim, “we can try and relax and live with the memories we have of our children and be at peace.” Mr. Rolling was 36 when he arrived in Gainesville shortly before the fall semester began at the University of Florida, a drifter with a criminal past who pitched a tent in some woods near campus. He followed two freshman roommates, Sonja Larson, 18, and Christina Powell, 17, to their off-campus apartment, raped Miss Powell, repeatedly stabbed both women with a hunting knife and mutilated their bodies.
The police discovered them on Aug. 26, after Miss Powell’s parents reported that their daughter was not answering her door or phone. Later that night, the police found Christa Hoyt, 18, dead in her off-campus duplex. Mr. Rolling had raped and stabbed her, severed her head and placed it on a shelf.
The next day, Tracy Paules and Manuel Taboada, both 23, were discovered stabbed to death in their apartment, not far from where the other killings took place. Mr. Rolling attacked Mr. Taboada, a former high school football player, as he slept, then killed Miss Paules. All of the victims were University of Florida students except for Miss Hoyt, who was attending a nearby community college. I still remember the hysteria this guy caused. The whole town was on lockdown. Folks were terrified. It was like Ted Bundy all over again. I know there are people who are wrongly imprisoned and executed in this country all the time, so having as much time to fight their imprisonment is an advantage. But what about the cases where the evidence is glaring? I know there are many who are against capital punishment. What do you do with a guy like this? Is life imprisonment sufficient justice, or, in the case of irrefutable evidence where the death sentence is imposed, should there be a cap on the amount of time that passes from sentencing to the actual sentence?
NY Times.com: Killer of 5 Florida Students Is Executed |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Who's The F*cktard That Came Up With This? Seriously. |
| Wednesday, October 25, 2006 |
I've seen these things advertised a thousand times too many, and I've finally decided to speak up. I mean, as if the fried chicken alone isn't enough to stop your blood flow (yes, I am fully aware of the dangers of my favorite food). Noooo. They had to pile on a heap-a sh*t at once, so you can have your stroke as you're sitting at the table eating.
That's right, I'm talking about those damn KFC Famous Bowls.
Sure, they might taste delicious (I wouldn't know...seriously; even I have limits), they're hideous to look at, and it's as though they threw everything at it, including the kitchen sink and the toilet.
 Mashed pototoes, corn, fried chicken, drizzled with gravy, then topped with cheese?????? My bad---a three-cheese blend.
Look at how they've got the cheese sprinkled on top like it's some sort of festive confetti. Yeah. I'm sure there's a party in your colon as it's all going down. The rice bowl is the same as this, except there's rice instead of pototoes.
I would have loved to have been in the room when this idea was thrown on the table. And it would have been even more fun/frightening to watch the idi-boob executives sign on to what a wonderful idea this new line of fried sh*t bowls is.
And we wonder why we're fat in America.
KFC Famous Bowls |
posted by Lo @ 11:58 PM   |
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| Just Say No, Dude, Just Say No. |
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I mean, seriously, can you hold others responsible for the gluttony of someone else? In China, apparently so:
 Five Chinese power bureau officials have been dismissed or demoted after an auditor died from a series of banquet binges, the Shanghai Daily reported on Tuesday.
The death of Zhang Hongtao, 25, who worked with the Yanshan County Audit Office in northern Hebei province, was blamed on alcohol after banquets provided in April for auditors by the Yanshan Power Supply Co., the newspaper said.
Instead of working, Zhang did little else but eat, drink, play cards and enjoy massages, the official China Daily said.
"Zhang called his family the day before his death, saying that he couldn't pick up his child because the power bureau had invited the auditors and some other supervision officials to another banquet," the newspaper said.
"That night, Zhang consumed a lot of alcohol and became very ill. When the bureau invited the group to dine again the next day, Zhang's lifeless body was found, which Zhang's family said was due to alcohol poisoning." While you bullsh*ttin', that roast pig looks good as hell. Makes me want some fried chicken.*
*What? Everything makes me want fried chicken. Haven't y'all figured that out by now?
Reuters: Five punished for China banquet binge death |
posted by Lo @ 10:47 AM   |
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| Are Whites Smarter Or Is This Situation Unique? |
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 [...] Richard and Cindy Little, a white couple living in a predominantly white neighborhood, filed a complaint with the Louisiana Department of Insurance. Eventually, they won full reimbursement for their repairs.
Doretha and Roy Kitchens, a black couple living in New Orleans' overwhelmingly black Lower Ninth Ward, simply gave up and took what their insurer gave them. They didn't know they could appeal to the state.
Though poor and minority neighborhoods suffered the brunt of Katrina's fury, residents living in white neighborhoods have been three times as likely as homeowners in black neighborhoods to seek state help in resolving insurance disputes, according to an Associated Press computer analysis.
The analysis of Louisiana's insurance complaints settled in the first year after Katrina highlights a cold, hard truth exposed by Katrina's winds and waters: People of color and modest means, who often need the most help after a major disaster, are disconnected from the government institutions that can provide it, or distrustful of those in power.
"The blacks didn't complain 'cause they got tired," said Doretha Kitchens, 58, who recalls numerous phone calls to her insurer that often ended with her being put on hold. Ultimately, she accepted her insurer's offer of about $34,000 for damages that actually total more than $120,000.
The insurance industry and state regulators say they made special efforts — even in the midst of Katrina's chaos — to reach out to poor and minority neighborhoods to inform them of options.
But their ad appeals on local radio did little to inform the thousands of mostly black residents who were displaced to Houston. And giving a toll free number for help didn't help poor minorities who stayed behind with no telephone or cell service. Officials acknowledge victims slipped through the cracks.
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Nearly 75 percent of the settled cases were filed by residents currently living in predominantly white neighborhoods. Just 25 percent were filed by households in predominantly minority ZIP codes, the analysis found. Another case of what you don't know can't help you.
Should the government have taken extra measures beyond runnings to let the affected minorities know they had options? Is this a case of racial privilege?
Discuss amongst yourselves.
AP: Whites on top of Katrina insurance |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| When Gossip Goes Too Far. |
| Tuesday, October 24, 2006 |
There's a very popular gossip blog called Perez Hilton.com.
It's run by this guy...
...whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, and he refers to himself as the "Queen of all Media" (which, curiously, is a title also donned by gossip maven, Wendy Williams).
He first came to minor blogging fame last year with a website called Page SixSixSix, which he was forced to remove after being sued by the real Page Six, the New York Post's very powerful gossip page. Before his site was shut down, he was refreshing, funny, and dared to say the things people were thinking about fame whores such as Paris Hilton (his blogging name, natch, is a play on hers). His favorite term for her back then was a hilarious word he coined---"whoreanus."
At some point, he began to get into bed with the very people he was reporting on and making fun of, seriously compromising his ability to be trusted to deliver objective gossip (if there is such a thing). He began to appear everywhere with Paris (that's him below with her and her sibs)...
...and often uses his site to attack those she no longer likes. (He spent most of this year cruelly ridiculing her then-enemy Nicole Richie's thinness by referring to her as "zombie hands.")
He never disparages Paris anymore, and often doesn't report on (or positively spins) her mishaps in the press.
Perez, who is openly gay, is no longer fun and funny. Most of the time, he's just downright cruel (he singlehandedly forced former *NSYNC member Lance Bass out of the closet with daily harassment), and is now more obsessed with his own rise to fame as much as those as he reports on (nearly a third of his blog posts are about himself).
But his site gets a lot of traffic and, unfortunately, he influences a lot of young people.
Well, today I think he did the most heinous thing I've seen a gossip site, magazine, or reporter do---something which I believe he should be held accountable for. A couple of hours ago, he put a post entitled, How Can We Say This Delicately???
This is the accompanying photo that went with it (he's known for scrawling childish comments or trails of coke on the photos of the people he blogs about).
 This is what the actual post said:
 Fortunately, the readers of his blog reacted with sheer outrage. Click HERE to read their comments.
Here's my question: do you think bloggers and journalists should be held to some level of accountability in terms of what they are allowed to write and how far they can go? Millions of little girls see the images Hollywood sends (be thin! binge! purge!), and we've got a nation of screwed up women with huge body issues as a result. I'm sure, by this post, you can see how I feel, but what do you think?
Perez Hilton.com: How Can We Say This Delicately??? |
posted by Lo @ 4:44 PM   |
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| When It All Falls Down. |
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When it falls down, who you gonna call now?
 A major effort to draw Latinos and blacks into the Republican Party, a central element of the GOP plan to build a long-lasting majority, is in danger of collapse amid anger over the immigration debate and claims that Republican leaders have not delivered on promises to direct more money to church-based social services.
President Bush, strategist Karl Rove and other top Republicans have wooed Latino and black leaders, many of them evangelical clergy who lead large congregations, in hopes of peeling away the traditional Democratic base. But now some of the leaders who helped drive Bush to victory in 2004 are revisiting their loyalty to the Republican Party and, in some cases, abandoning it. "There is a fissure, and I doubt it will be closed in this election," said the Rev. Luis Cortes Jr., a Republican who founded the annual National Hispanic Prayer Breakfast that has featured Bush every year since 2002. His Philadelphia-based Esperanza USA boasts a national affiliate network of more than 10,000 churches.
The Latino backlash has grown so intense that one prominent, typically pro-Republican organization, the Latino Coalition, has endorsed Democrats in competitive races this year in Tennessee, Nebraska and New Jersey. The coalition is chaired by Hector Barreto, the former administrator of the Small Business Administration under Bush; its president is a former strategist for the Republican National Committee. None of this comes as a surprise. These groups were being hustled by the GOP from Day One.
Sooner or later, a snow job has to melt.
Jesus saves, but this time around, He might not save the Republican Party.
LATimes.com: Minority church leaders backing away from GOP |
posted by Lo @ 11:55 AM   |
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| A Real Snow Job. |
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What else can you call it? This administration is so full of sh*t.
 [...] the White House is cutting and running from "stay the course." A phrase meant to connote steely resolve instead has become a symbol for being out of touch and rigid in the face of a war that seems to grow worse by the week, Republican strategists say. Democrats have now turned "stay the course" into an attack line in campaign commercials, and the Bush team is busy explaining that "stay the course" does not actually mean stay the course.
Instead, they have been emphasizing in recent weeks how adaptable the president's Iraq policy actually is. Bush remains steadfast about remaining in Iraq, they say, but constantly shifts tactics and methods in response to an adjusting enemy. "What you have is not 'stay the course' but in fact a study in constant motion by the administration," Snow said yesterday. These guys will say anything to win this upcoming election, won't they? Especially now that they're afraid they might actually lose.
Washington Post: Bush's New Tack Steers Clear of 'Stay the Course' |
posted by Lo @ 10:39 AM   |
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| Daddy Git Yer Gun. |
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 A father pulled a gun on a youth football coach because his son wasn't getting enough playing time, police said.
Wayne Derkotch, 40, was arguing with the coach Sunday during a game of 6- and 7-year-olds when he drew the weapon, police said. No shots were fired. "No shots were fired"? Well, thank goodness for that.
And we wonder why the Paris Hiltons of the world and so many other kids from her generation are so f'd up. It's this whole sense of entitlement that they have, much of which is either enabled or fostered by their nutjob parents.
Sheesh.
Chicago Tribune: Police: Father Pulls Gun on Youth Coach |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| What The Hell Is Up In Washington State???????? |
| Monday, October 23, 2006 |
 A man accused of having sex with the family dog has been charged under the state's new animal cruelty law, which makes bestiality a felony, a prosecutor said.
Michael Patrick McPhail, 26, of nearby Spanaway, pleaded not guilty Thursday to one count of first-degree animal cruelty in Pierce County Superior Court.
Assistant Pierce County Prosecutor Karen Watson said McPhail was the first person in Pierce County to be charged with the new bestiality offense.
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McPhail's wife told investigators that she found her husband on their back porch Wednesday night having intercourse with their 4-year-old female pit bull terrier, the Pierce County sheriff's office report said. The dog was squealing and crying, according to charging papers.
The woman took photos with her cell phone and called the sheriff's office.
Calls to McPhail's public defender, David Katayama, were not immediately returned Friday.
The bestiality law, which took effect in June, was prompted by a case near Enumclaw in which a Seattle man died after having sex with a horse. Before the law was enacted, Washington was one of 14 states where bestiality had not been explicitly prohibited. This is one of those times when that Pit Bull should have lived up to their not-always-deserved reputation.
Meanwhile, what's up with the men f*cking animals in Washington? Imagine how this must have scarred dude's wife who rolled up on him and the dog on the porch. He'd rather do a dog than her?*
Damn. How the hell do you recover from that?
*What's even more interesting is that he must have continued to hump the dog after she caught him if she was able to take pics with her cellphone and all. I wonder if the man and the dog were stuck.
**Is this an X-rated discussion? Is The Lo Zone really X-rated?
AP: Man accused of having relations with dog Previously: The Lo Zone: What The Hell Is Up In Seattle???????? |
posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   |
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| Holy Crap!!! |
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I was up watching Jimmy Kimmel one night last week...
...when he aired this bit. I was ON THE FLOOR with laughter. I've been waiting ever since for it to appear on YouTube and, sure enough, it has. It's pretty self-explanatory. Enjoy!!!
ABC.com: Jimmy Kimmel Live |
posted by Lo @ 11:52 AM   |
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| A Minor Correction (Just For The Record). |
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First off I must say, I absolutely adore AOL Black Voices. They show me a lot of love (hi Karu!! hi Ken!!), and are just a wonderfully entertaining site to visit to stay abreast of what's going on in the world of pop culture pertaining to people of color.
This past weekend while Googling myself (what? you know you do it...besides, I was doing some research), I came across a book profile they'd done on me that I hadn't seen before.
I was quite surprised by it and thought the layout was gorgeous. I'm guessing it was an extended part of the write-ups and podcast they'd done on me earlier this year. One part of it included Five Facts that most people don't know about me. Items #3 and #4 particularly caught my eye:
I was a little startled to find that we're considered X-rated out here on The Zone. I actually chuckled when I saw that because I've been feeling anything but X-rated lately. Still, I can't be the one to determine how the content is perceived because it's a perspective thing that's relative to how the individual reading the site takes it. Perhaps you guys can chime in and give me a little insight as to the degree of raciness out here.
Also, and this one is significant: my real name IS "Lolita Files." I'm not clever enough to make that up. FILES is the surname of my father's very extensive side of the family, and they might think I'd have some nerve for trying to take credit for having come up with it myself. As for the LOLITA part, my mom decided to name me after director Stanley Kubrick's film, Lolita...
The way my mom tells the story, she decided that, if she had a girl, she would name her either "Lolita" or "Jasmine." Well, "Lolita" won out. Of course, my mom never read the book, nor saw the movie, so she had no idea that she was naming me after a story about a 12-year-old manipulative slut. (Why do you think they called Amy Fisher the "Long Island Lolita" in the early 90's?)
I've spent much of my life beating back older lecherous men who wanted to know if I was reallllllly "a Lolita." Nabokov's title character was something he defined as a "nymphet." Per the website Wikipedia:A nymphet is a sexualized adolescent girl in the early days of puberty. The term was coined by Vladimir Nabokov in the novel Lolita [...] This is what Nabokov writes in the novel itself:"Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travelers, twice or many times older than they, reveal their nature, which is not human, but nymphic (that is, demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose designate as "nymphets." Demoniac. Young slut. Thanks, Mom!!!
(On a related note, I do have a dear friend who sometimes refers to me as "Locifer." But then, he's always got jokes.)
If I did make up a pen name (who needs one with the doozy I was born with?), it would be more along the lines of "The Skanktastic Whore" (think superhero-style, like The Fantastic Four.)*
Still, imagine the bewilderment of my one of my beloved high school English teachers, who now lives in Paris, looking me up on the internet after the release of my first novel, Scenes From A Sistah, (which many people thought was subtitled "The Lolita Files" because that most certainly couldn't have been the author's name)...
...only to have said beloved teacher and dear friend e-mail me that, during her search, she came up with not just information about the new book, but thousands of websites for child pornography (specifically, young girls). Quelle horror!!! Story of my life.
Fortunately, these days when you enter "Lolita Files" on the 'net, thousands of hits for me come up first. It probably pisses off a lot of pedophiles, but then again, maybe they end up lingering on a site about me and deciding to read a book rather than doing harm to some exploited underage girl. It's a grand thought, I know, but one can only hope.
Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up about my name. It's real, and it's mine.** I got it honestly from Lillie B. Files, a mom who didn't read novels by Russian writers or watch movies by revered directors, and Arthur James Files Sr., a dad who was one of the greatest storytellers I've ever had the honor of knowing. May he rest in peace, regaling those on the other side with his very, very, very tall tales.
*Of course, I'm just kidding. I would never have a name that misleading or X-rated. It'd be more along the lines of Titties Galore.
**You wouldn't believe the kind of sex men expect to get from someone named Lolita Files. It sets a very high bar that you must decide, early on, that you're going to try to surpass, maintain, or not even bother to reach.
AOL Black Voices: Book Profile. Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame. Previously: The Lo Zone: Check Out My Podcast On AOL Black Voices!!! Previously: The Lo Zone: ...And They've Got Us On The Front Page Again!!! Previously: The Lo Zone: The Greatest What-The-Fuck Of All: My Balls Are More Galactic Than The Galactic Balls Of Black Jesus!!! |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Friday Flashback. |
| Friday, October 20, 2006 |
Today's throwback jam is from one of the greatest, most iconic hip-hop albums in rap history by one of the greatest, most iconic groups in rap history.
...came out in Fall 1991, and was an instant classic. It is considered a rap masterpiece (check the Amazon reviews if you don't believe me), and legitimately deserves every bit of that kudos.
Like most fans of this album, I knew every song verbatim, and played it ad nauseum. Throw this thing on at a party or a club and the floor will not just be overrun with folks, everyone will sing along to the cuts in a way that evokes both nostalgic thoughts and the feel-good vibe that genuine hip-hop brings forth.
Phife, Tip, and Shah (and sometimes Jarobi White)...
...were the shit, and I've got a slew of great memories that this album provided the soundtrack for.
The video I chose is actually my favorite song from the album, which is a tough thing to say when you had joints like "Check The Rhime," "Scenario" (which Busta rocked the hell out of at the end back when he was still a member of Leaders of the New School), "Show Business," and "Verses From The Abstract."
It's called "Jazz (We've Got)" and, to this day, it's still my shit. Enjoy!!!
Screw it, here's the vid for my second favorite joint, "Check The Rhime." This'll have you singing along, fa sho'.
What the hell, I'm on a roll. Here's "Scenario. The various cameos are great, but the major payoff is when Busta rips it.
Sorry, I can't contain myself. Let's go back to their brilliant debut album and kick it with some "Bonita Applebum."
Amazon.com: The Low End Theory A Tribe Called Quest Online A Tribe Called Quest on MySpace |
posted by Lo @ 1:19 PM   |
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| It's Coming!!! |
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Just two more months.
 I can't wait.
Everything about it looks fantastic.
 I know Beyonce's gonna definitely do her thang.
 ...is magnificent.
I'm even excited about seeing Jamie...
...even though his performance in Miami Vice was straight-up shit-tastic.
It's gonna be a real holiday bonanza, seeing as it comes out on Christmas, which is drawing closer by the minute. My, how the time flies!!! In the meantime, check out the very cool trailer.
Blackfilm.com: First Look: Dreamgirls Dreamgirls Movie - Official Site |
posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   |
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| The (Cyber)world Is A Ghetto. |
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As most MySpacers know, there are a ton of websites on the 'net that provide all sorts of code to be pasted onto your page to pimp it out, or to be pasted into someone's comment section to say something cute or clever on your behalf.
Well, I've seen some doozies, but this one really caught my eye.
That sh*t is mad ghetto. And when you see it on MySpace, it flashes!!!
Gotta love it!!!
Deepbox.com |
posted by Lo @ 11:51 AM   |
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| Get Your Conversation & Drink On With Melicious Tonight!!! |
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If you're anywhere in the New York tri-state area today, make sure you check out the one, the only...Melicious himself...
...as he speaks and signs copies of his new book, Volume 1 in his Pussy Proverbs series...
...Keeping The Pussy: 11 Things Women Won't Admit (and the clean version, Keeping The Kitty)...
...today at Hue-Man Bookstore & Cafe in Harlem. You definitely want to be there to hear him share information that both men and women can immediately put into practical application for a better relationship.
Here are the details of the event:Imaximize Productions, STTS Publishing and Hue-Man Bookstore Present the Exclusive Singles Night Preview of the NEW controversial and hysterical relationship guide book by film, television and stage star Mel Jackson!
Keeping the Kitty 11 Things Women Won't Admit (but absolutely want you to know!)
NO COVER! FREE DRINKS AND PRIZES!!
Friday, October 20, 2006 6:00PM-9:00PMHue-Man Bookstore & Cafe2319 Frederick Douglass Blvd(btwn 124/125th St., Harlem NYC) When you roll through, be sure to wish him a Happy Belated Birthday and say "1-1-1". He's good people to begin with so it's all love, but those two things are the magic words, fa' sho.
Follow your instincts and BE THERE!!!*
*By the way, check out the audio messages at the top of this blog. The 2nd one is from Mel, thanking you fellow Lo Zoners for all the love. Thanks to all of you who dare to leave a message and be heard!!!
**For old times' sake, here are the collected podcasts of him dropping some of that very knowledge about The P and how to keep it in a series of exclusive interviews with my precocious little black dog, Lo's Bytch Lo.
Enjoy!!!
Mel Jackson Online IAMENUS on MySpace |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Developing: Goodbye Dr. Burke, Helloooooo Next Black Guy!!! |
| Thursday, October 19, 2006 |
I know it's late in the day for me, but this one couldn't be denied. Strong, strong, strong rumor has it that our beloved sexy one, Isaiah Washington...
...aka Dr. Preston Xavier Burke, has been FIRED, FIRED, FIRED (!!!) ---allegedly--- from Grey's Anatomy in the wake of his fight...
...with the also beloved and sexy Patrick Dempsey, aka Dr. Derek Shepherd Dr. McDreamy.
Seems that during that fight, Isaiah allegedly called one of the actors on the show a "little faggot". Per an article in the National Enquirer:“The melee has set off World War III on the show and may cost Isaiah his job,” an insider told The ENQUIRER.
“The cast is divided over the shameful event.”
As The ENQUIRER exclusively revealed last week, Patrick and Isaiah clashed over cast members being late to the set, right before shooting a scene at Prospect Studios in Los Angeles.
A heated discussion quickly escalated to violence when Isaiah snapped, revealed an eyewitness.
At one point, Isaiah yelled, “I’m not your little faggot like (name deleted),” according to the source. Those who heard him were stunned.
Because of the extreme nature of the slur, The ENQUIRER is withholding the name of the co-star targeted by Washington. During the brawl, an enraged Isaiah grabbed Patrick by the throat and shoved him a few feet. The article says it "may cost Isaiah his job," but my sources tell me it's already happened (his being fired). Allegedly. The article also withholds the name of said "little faggot," but my sources have learned that---ALLEGEDLY--- the actor who was being referred to is none other than your boy T.R. Knight, aka Dr. George O'Malley...
 ...who, allegedly, has admitted he is indeed gay. I know. You can't believe it, can you? I mean, he just oozes testosterone on the show. I would have never guessed.
Talk about being blindsided. The guy is a virtual hunk of red-hot man-meat. (Let me quit. Seriously, though, he is mad cuddly, in a stuffed toy sort of way.)
So the hunt is on for Dr. Burke's replacement. Allegedly. Because, per my source, he has been fired. Allegedly. Some folks have already been interviewed. Allegedly.
Drama, drama, drama!!!
Isaiah must have never heard of the Gay Mafia. There's two things you don't talk shit about in this town: Gays and Jews. And if you mess around and talk about a Gay Jew? Aw hell, it's curtains for your ass, big-time. Isaiah needs to go have a talk with Mel Gibson and Mike Ovitz. They might be able to shed a little insight on the matter.
National Enquirer: Grey's Anatomy Star's Shocking Gay Slur AP: Actors see red on 'Grey's Anatomy' set |
posted by Lo @ 6:36 PM   |
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| If This Is Really True, Then It's Really Pathetic. |
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I refuse to believe men are that threatened by a woman with half a brain. Because if they are, that's some pretty sad sh*t.
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posted by Lo @ 11:54 AM   |
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| If MySpace Had Balls, I'd Kick The Sh*t Out Them. |
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Don't get me wrong, I love MySpace.
It's a great place to have direct contact with readers, other authors, and meet new and wonderful people (like this one). Heck, you can even find long-lost relatives out there. Just yesterday, my 16-year-old goddaughter and I added each other as friends (I didn't even know she had a page).
But I swear, if I see this message one. more. time...
 [click image to enlarge]
I'm gonna hurt somebody.
I know there's a lot of people on the site and it's an incredible amount of traffic to manage...
 [click image to see how many folks are on MySpace]
...but I've been getting that message waaaaaaaaay too frequently of late.
Fix that sh*t.
I'm just sayin'.
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posted by Lo @ 10:40 AM   |
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| What Kind Of Bullsh*t Is This?????? |
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I can't believe it. I just can't believe it.
 A federal judge Tuesday vacated the conviction of Enron's late founder Kenneth Lay, wiping out a jury's verdict that he committed fraud and conspiracy in one of the biggest corporate scandals in U.S. history.
Lay was convicted of 10 counts of fraud, conspiracy and lying to banks in two separate cases on May 25. Enron's collapse in 2001 wiped out thousands of jobs, more than $60 billion in market value and more than $2 billion in pension plans.
Lay died of heart disease July 5 while vacationing with his wife, Linda, in Aspen, Colo.
U.S. District Judge Sim Lake, in a ruling Tuesday, agreed with Lay's lawyers that his death required that his conviction be erased and his indictment dismissed. They cited a 2004 ruling from the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals that found that a defendant's death pending appeal extinguished his entire case because he hadn't had a full opportunity to challenge the conviction and the government shouldn't be able to punish a dead defendant or his estate. This man ruined a shitload of lives and scammed millions of customers (myself included) with fake energy crises. And he gets let off the hook because he's dead??
I'm sorry, but this is one of those times when I'm calling "color." They only do shit like this for white folks. If a black man had done something as sweepingly horrific as Ken Lay, something that impacted as many lives as his crimes did, not only would he take his criminal convictions to the grave, the courts would probably try to find a way to have his offspring inherit them, too.
What the rasclaat? Straight foolishness.
Chicago Tribune: Judge Vacates Conviction of Ken Lay Previously: The Lo Zone: Isn't It Ironic? |
posted by Lo @ 10:32 AM   |
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| F-A...B-O...L-O...Oh Sh*t!!! |
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Because a rapper ain't legit unless he's got a few plugs in him.*
 Rapper Fabolous was shot early Tuesday as he stood at a Manhattan parking garage, spurring a sequence of events that left him both hospitalized in stable condition and under arrest, police said.
The 28-year-old rapper, whose legal name is John Jackson, was shot once in the thigh when a male with a gun approached him and three others and opened fire, police spokesman Sgt. Mike Wysokowski said.
The four jumped into a vehicle and fled, attracting the attention of police when they ran a red light. Officers stopped them and discovered two loaded guns in the vehicle, both of which were apparently unlicensed, Wysokowski said. All four men were arrested, and charges were pending.
The rapper was taken to a hospital. Police were searching for the shooter. Eight more shots, and he's guaranteed to go multi-platinum. (Remember Fiddy set the standard at nine.)

Maybe our girl Saadia can hook him up.
His street cred would probably go through the roof once she's finished with him.
*I know I'm a day late on this, but I couldn't let it pass without commenting. Besides, it's a perfect tie-in to South Park Saadia.
Rapper Fabolous Shot, Stable in NYC |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| South Park Juan!!! |
| Tuesday, October 17, 2006 |
Finally, we can introduce one of our very favorite Lo Zoners (and longtime friend), Juan G.---South Park style!!!
Notice that he's in the clouds wearing earbuds and clutching reading material. That's because heaven, to Juan G., is a good book and his music. Sounds like heaven to me, too. The only thing missing is a hot plate of fried chicken.
Float on, brotherman!!!
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posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   |
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| This 'Greeting Us As Liberators' Business Has Got To Stop. |
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The enthusiasm about our presence there is so gleefully overwhelming.
But wait, there's more... Elsewhere, 60 Iraqis died in attacks and 16 tortured bodies were found. Ain't no party like an Iraq party, 'cause an Iraq party don't stop!!
Our leader sure does know how to start a party. A party that don't stop.
For years.
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posted by Lo @ 11:49 AM   |
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| Who's The Creep In This Scenario? |
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The teacher? The principal for covering it up? Both of them?
School investigators are probing allegations that a Harlem teacher had a spring break fling in the Caribbean with a student - only to be spotted when a fellow teacher checked into the same hotel, sources said.
Spanish teacher Johnny Cuevas, 37, allegedly vacationed in the Dominican Republic with an 18-year-old female student from A. Philip Randolph High School, according to sources close to the investigation.
Investigators also are exploring whether Principal Maurice Collins was told in May 2005 of the alleged trip to Santo Domingo but improperly failed to report it - and then engaged in a coverup.
Collins allegedly called Cuevas into school on Martin Luther King Day 2006 so the duo could get their stories straight, a source said. The student...
...was 18. Does that let the teacher off the hook because she was legal? What's the world coming to with all these grown-ups preying on kids and their superiors covering it up?
New York Daily News: Teacher probed in spring fling |
posted by Lo @ 10:14 AM   |
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| South Park Saadia!!! |
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Y'all may know her as Lo Zone regular Girly_Girl, but her real name is Saadia, and this is her South Park persona:
Don't you just love how she's rocking that semi-automatic? Check out her MySpace page and you just might find a picture of her toting the real thing. Girlfriend likes the guns (and a good Chardonnay). She has a blog there that's also very cool. She's a beautiful, sophisticated woman who also happens to be a well-read academic (hence the glasses).
Go on, Saadia, with your bad self!! Rock that weaponry!!
Gotta love it!!!
Saadia's MySpace Page |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Best. Headline. Ever. |
| Monday, October 16, 2006 |
It was the first time a woman has acted as a surrogate mother for her daughter in Japan, local media reported.
The case is set to stir debate in Japan where surrogate births are opposed by the government and a key medical group.
Japan's justice ministry also views the woman who gives birth as a child's mother - not the biological mother. I hope they started a therapy fund for that baby as soon as it was born because it's got a long line of psychological issues ahead. Grandmother's the mother. Mother's the mother. Technically, this makes the baby its own mother. And the mother's its sister.
Ain't this a mutha?
Shit.
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posted by Lo @ 11:59 AM   |
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| Puff, Puff, Shoot!!! |
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Talk about a helluva war tactic.
Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet-high marijuana plants.
[...]
"The challenge is that marijuana plants absorb energy, heat very readily. It's very difficult to penetrate with thermal devices ... and as a result you really have to be careful that the Taliban don't dodge in and out of those marijuana forests," he said in a speech in Ottawa.
"We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said. Aaaah, but I bet they were feeling realllllll irie while they were trying to get high burn down those plants. War? What war?
Reuters: Troops battle 10-foot marijuana plants |
posted by Lo @ 10:39 AM   |
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| Rimshots. |
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One of these days YouTube is going to lead me straight to hell.
This video, done by some absolutely insane cats called The Brand New Dudes, is straight-up retarded.
All I'll say is that it's called "Ass Wax," and if you're at work, be careful. There's no nudity, just some edgy words. My character Penn from my current novel, Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame., would get along great with these guys. Enjoy!!! (...er, I hope.)
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posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Happy Birthday, Melicious!!! |
| Friday, October 13, 2006 |
Hey y'all, we gotta make sure we show some love to one of my favorite, favorite people, I love him dearly, and he's a regular Lo Zoner...the one, the only, the delicious...

Like me, he's a fellow Libran, and of course, Libras are some of the coolest people you ever want to meet.
So let's give it up for my gorgeous, big-hearted friend...
 ...ain't he fine?
111, Mel!!!
We love you, man!!!
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posted by Lo @ 2:05 PM   |
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| The Rich House!!! |
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For those of you who don't know it yet, our very own Rich in the STL...
He's beginning with just a few posts at first, but he's planning on turning the site into a full-service, full of fun spot for you guys to lounge around in and have the kind of great exchanges we have here in The Lo Zone. He's also pretty well-informed, so expect to learn your fair share of things from him, much of which you can put into immediate practical use.
It's our official brother site, so be sure to check it out and become a regular, just like you are here. The more of us sharing information out here on the web, the better.
The actual address of The Rich House is http://the-rich-house.blogspot.com. You can also go to the site by clicking the permanent link in the sidebar of my blog, right below the link for my tour dates.
Congrats, Rich!!!
Do the damn thang!!! We're so very proud of you!!!
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posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   |
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| I'm Having One Of Those Days. |
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Y'all know how I get.
If fried chicken was sex, I'd be a whore. A chicken whore.
I'm just sayin'.
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posted by Lo @ 10:36 AM   |
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| Doo-Wah Diddy!!! |
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There's been no escaping hearing about Diddy's new cd, the much-hyped Press Play, which officially drops this coming Monday.
And while Puff's not exactly known for his ability to spit (my favorite song of his ever is this, and he's not even the lead), homie's a hustler and he knows what it takes to put together a hit: kick-ass beats, stellar production, and the hottest guest talent, all of which he's got plenty of on this cd.
...and the outrageous and talented Cee-Lo on vocals.
The song is called "Everything I Love." (Click link below to listen.)
Here's one more song, and this mutha bangs. It features Big Boi (from Outkast)...
It's called "Wanna Move," and you will when you hear it, fa sho'. Bang on!! (Click link below to listen.)
Amazon.com: Diddy: Press Play |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| In Praise Of Little Boys Who Need To Get Gone. |
| Thursday, October 12, 2006 |
I've been a fan of this woman for a very long time.
The great Marlena Shaw's music runs the gamut of jazz, R&B, pop, disco, and more, and she's got some of the most outstanding chops around.
My favorite song of hers is from her 1977 album, Sweet Beginnings.
The song, entitled "Go Away Little Boy," is a cover of a Carole King/Gerry Goffin hit, and Marlena's version was so soulful, so lush, so timeless, so...appropriate...that its beauty, fun, and downright truth lingers on long after the song is over. You find yourself humming it for the rest of the day. I think any woman who's ever heard it can relate because you've had that moment---or something close---with the man who came home with fourteen mirrors, some Afro Sheen, some Afro clean, some afro fluid, some afro do-it to-it and was gonna just sit up and look at you to do all the work while he "gets himself together." I'm just sayin.' This song is simply wonderful, from the extravagant arrangement, to Marlena's reflective introductory banter (nearly half the song) and ultimately soaring voice, to the feel-good sentiment it evokes in me of the late 70's. I will always love this song, will always sing along every time it comes on. Hopefully, y'all love it and will sing along, too. (Click the link below to listen.)
Amazon.com: Marlena Shaw: Sweet Beginnings |
posted by Lo @ 11:51 PM   |
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| A Fight!!! A Fight!!! A Ni...Aw, You Know The Rest. |
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Boy, I would have paid good money to see this. All that hard, masculine flesh (dark meat!!! white meat!!!) going at it on the set of Grey's Anatomy.
An argument between Isaiah Washington and Patrick Dempsey got physical and led to a temporary pause in production, the New York Daily News reported in its Wednesday editions.
The actors shared a heated exchange Monday about cast members delaying a scene when Washington, 43, grabbed Dempsey, 40, by the throat and shoved him, according to the newspaper.
Representatives for the actors said the two have made amends. Wow!!! How incredibly sexy!!! I love a black man with his hand around a white man's throat.*
Oops. Did I say that out loud?
*Just kidding. I love any man with his hand around a white man's throat.
**Okay, let me stop. I think white men's throats are beautiful. Especially when they're covered with fingerprints.
AP: Actors see red on 'Grey's Anatomy' set |
posted by Lo @ 10:46 AM   |
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| Worst. President. In. The. History. Of. History. |
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Dubya will be long out of office, somewhere in Crawford, Texas hunting squirrels and cracking jokes about what a cowboy he was when he was president, and people will still be fighting and dying for his bogus ass war.
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posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Happy Birthday, Sheletha!!! |
| Wednesday, October 11, 2006 |
Give it up, y'all. Today's the born-day of one of our favorite Lo Zone regulars, the very outspoken, mucho hilarious, Queen of Running Out The Room from Kalamazoo...
...SHELETHA!!!!!!!!! That's her below with her group, Circle of Sisters Bookclub of Kalamazoo.
 And here to help us celebrate is everyone's favorite cyber skank...
HoZone!!! You know ol' girl needs music to work her pole, so just click the link below, and let's all help Sheletha get her birthday on!!!
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posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   |
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| Yup, We're Liberators Alright. |
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We liberated them from life.
 In the new study, researchers attempt to calculate how many more Iraqis have died since March 2003 than one would expect without the war. Their conclusion, based on interviews of households and not a body count, is that about 600,000 died from violence, mostly gunfire. They also found a small increase in deaths from other causes like heart disease and cancer.
"Deaths are occurring in Iraq now at a rate more than three times that from before the invasion of March 2003," Dr. Gilbert Burnham, lead author of the study, said in a statement. Your tax dollars and forced democracy at work.
AP: Study: 655,000 Iraqis die because of war |
posted by Lo @ 11:48 AM   |
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| I Guess She Didn't Want To Be Lonely On The Other Side. |
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 A Bulgarian woman who killed her son was released from prison because of terminal cancer. She then went home and killed her husband, police said Tuesday.
The 57-year-old was sentenced to 15 years in jail for killing her 29-year-old son with a garden hoe in April 2005 while he was sleeping.
Last month, authorities judged her to be in the final stages of cancer and let her go home, where she stabbed her husband in the throat with a knife.
"It was established she was in the last stage of cancer, she had it all over her body," said a spokeswoman for the Bourgas regional police.
"They presumed she was feeling bad and she would treat herself and rest. But nothing of the kind. She got aggressive and ... she killed her husband." I guess that's one sure way to make sure your husband doesn't cheat once you're gone.
Reuters: Gravely ill woman kills son, is freed, kills husband |
posted by Lo @ 10:37 AM   |
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| When Man's Interference Goes Too Far. |
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Vasectomies!!! Can you believe it?
I mean, if God meant for elephants to be snipped, don't you think He would have made access to their balzacs easier than this?The two biggest challenges: elephants are the size of semi-trucks, and their testicles -- the size of a "respectable cantaloupe," Stetter said -- are behind 2 inches of skin, a foot of muscle and 4 inches of fat.
"What we want to do is get to the middle of something that's in that semi-truck, and we want to do it without emptying out everything that's in the truck," Stetter explains.
Using the tools doctors use for arthroscopic knee surgeries on humans -- a laparoscope and a video monitor -- Stetter can perform what he says is a two-hour procedure to sterilize male elephants without disrupting their important testosterone production.
The elephant must first be shot from a helicopter with an anesthesia dart, guided to an open area, and propped up by a crane truck so that he can stand while sleeping. I believe some creatures should be left alone. Let the poor elephants keep their friggin' balls. First they get terrorized for their ivory, and now they're trying to de-ball them. Elephants weren't meant to be eunuchs. I guess man won't be satisfied until they all look like this.

Chicago Tribune: Doctor Touts Vasectomies for Elephants |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| The War On Women Continues... |
| Tuesday, October 10, 2006 |
 A fugitive doctor charged in the cyanide poisoning death of his wife was arrested in Cyprus and will be brought back to the United States to face trial, the FBI said Monday.
[...]
Essa disappeared three weeks after his wife, Rosemarie, collapsed in her car about five miles from the couple's home and died Feb. 24, 2005.
Before she collapsed, she called a friend on a cell phone, gasping for air, and said her husband made her take calcium pills and she didn't feel well, prosecutors said.
Prosecutors have said they believe Essa, an emergency room doctor, was having an affair with a nurse and wanted to be free of his 38-year-old wife. Prosecutors characterized the killing as a "divorce substitute." A "divorce substitute"? Dang. This was some cruel, cruel shit, and this guy was a doctor, too. Whatever happened to the Hippocratic Oath?
Chicago Tribune: Doctor Arrested in Wife's Cyanide Death |
posted by Lo @ 11:47 AM   |
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| Breaking: I Need To Come Up With A Bright Internet Idea. |
| Monday, October 09, 2006 |

YouTube's not even a year old and hadn't even turned a profit yet.
Wow. Kudos to the founders, Chad Hurley and Steve Chen. They made out like friggin' bandits.
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posted by Lo @ 5:14 PM   |
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| Is There A Lemon Law For Adopted Kids? |
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This is a pretty intense predicament.
 A talkative 9-year-old boy came to Helen Briggs on Valentine's Day 2000. She was a foster mother with years of tough love and scores of troubled kids behind her. But she grew to love this boy. Within the year, she'd talked her husband into adopting him.
Now, six years later, Briggs and her husband, James, a maintenance worker for the city of Alexandria, are taking the highly unusual step of trying to unadopt him.
In 2003, when the boy was 12, he sexually molested a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl still in diapers. She said it was only then, as she waited outside the courtroom for his sexual battery hearing and caseworkers handed her his psychological profile, that she found out just how damaged the boy had been when he came into her life.
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Briggs said she did not know he had lived in five foster homes since he was 16 months old. Nor that his alcohol- and drug-addicted biological parents had physically abused him, injuring his brain stem and impairing his ability to gauge the passage of time.
He'd been hospitalized seven times in psychiatric institutions and diagnosed as possibly psychotically bipolar. He'd thrown knives, kicked in walls, pulled out all his hair and threatened to kill himself. He'd heard voices telling him to do bad things. His confidential case file shows he most likely was sexually abused.
"I did not know any of that," Briggs said, though Virginia policy states that caseworkers should provide "full, factual information" about a child to adoptive parents. "They just told me he was hyperactive." What would you do in this situation? Do you think she and her husband should stick it out, or should they be able to give the kid back to the state without moral judgment? This is some seriously deep sh*t.
Washington Post: Va. Parents Trying to Unadopt Troubled Boy |
posted by Lo @ 11:52 AM   |
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| Why I Know My Baby Is In Good Hands. |
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...has optioned the film rights to my novel, Child of God...
...(the film is currently being set up at a highly-respected division of a major studio; I'll disclose further details in the very near future).
Anyway, one of the things that I love about Kanyeezy is he don't do nothing half-assed. He goes deep, all the way in, and he makes sure his work stands up to a certain level of excellence. So I know he'll take care of my baby, but just as a reminder of how he'll do whatever it takes for the projects he's working on, check out this old clip from the show Punk'd, when he got tricked while shooting the video for "Jesus Walks." Say what you wanna about him, he fights the good fight. If he'll show out like this for a video, imagine how he'll act about his film.
Since I'm showing clips from Punk'd, here's the one that first put the show on the map for taking no prisoners when it came to cracking celebrities' faces. This is the one that everybody talked about. The one where they made Justin Timberlake---
Mr. SexyBack himself---damn near cry. This shit is classic.
To his credit, and because turnabout is fair play, Justin later made fun of Ashton...
...and all his Punk'd antics on an episode of Saturday Night Live. I thought he had Ashton down pat. This is actually pretty funny. Enjoy!!!
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posted by Lo @ 10:48 AM   |
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| Go Get 'Em, Jay!!! |
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See, y'all don't even understand how much I love this cat. One of the main reasons is because when Jigga comes, he comes HARD, and you gotta respect that.
I was so anxious, I almost did a late afternoon post on Friday, but I figured I'd just hold out until today to share this with you. On Friday, I messed around and peeped the first single from Hov's upcoming cd. The song is called...
...and, in my opinion, it BANGS!!! I've been rocking this all weekend. Done by mega-producer Just Blaze...
...what I like about it the most is Jay's rap feels like it's got some Dirty stank on it (maybe Bey's Houston flavor is rubbing off).
So here it is. But first...
...then click the link below to listen to his new song, "Show Me What You Got", from his upcoming return to the game he never really left, Kingdom Come, which drops some time in late November.
 I swear, I do.
(Click the link below to listen to the song.)
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posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Friday Flashback. |
| Friday, October 06, 2006 |
Yeah. You know what Time it is.
This album was the joint back in the day.
 It was one of the best releases of the 80's (along with their debut, The Time).
This band was loaded with monster talent, from the flashy, way-too-cool Morris Day, to two members, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, who would emerge as one of the greatest producing teams in music history, to the funktastic Jesse Johnson, and, briefly (before they hit big) a lead singer by the name of Alexander O'Neal. Most of the group's songs were also written, collaborated on, and produced by a reclusive persona by the name of Jamie Starr, which actually turned out to be Prince using another name.
Can't get much cooler than that.
Here's they are back in the day in an appearance on the long-running dance show American Bandstand, being interviewed by Dick Clark, then performing one of my all-time favorite songs, "777-9311."
Check out their slick-ass dance moves. Get your Friday on, y'all!!!
Here's one more for the road. Since I brought him up, here's Alexander O'Neal singing one of his first hits, the sultry, sensuous tune, "If You Were Here Tonight."
Amazon.com: The Time: What Time Is It? Morris Day Entertainment The Unofficial Home Of Morris Day and The Time Alexander O'Neal on MySpace |
posted by Lo @ 11:49 AM   |
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| I Knew It!!! |
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I always suspected I've been given some recycled sh*t over the years.
 The survey of 1,505 American adults, conducted by market research firm Harris Interactive, found that over half of the respondents admitted to "re-gifting" with passing on gifts becoming a far more common and acceptable phenomenon.
In fact 78 percent of consumers who were polled felt that it was acceptable to re-gift some or most of the time. How about it, people? Any re-gifters out there? C'mon, 'fess up.*
*Don't lie. You know you've done it.
Reuters: Half Americans admit to re-gifting |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Stomp In The Name Of Loot. |
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 A former employee of R. Kelly said in a lawsuit filed Wednesday that the singer beat him during a dispute at Kelly's home in February and cheated him out of songwriting royalties.
Henry "Love" Vaughn said in the lawsuit that he had been a longtime "mentor and guide" to Kelly.
Yet when Vaughn visited Kelly's home in Olympia Fields on Feb. 19, Kelly and others dragged him to the basement and "Kelly repeatedly struck [Vaughn] about the face and body with his fists," according to the lawsuit filed in Cook County Circuit Court.
Vaughn said Kelly also reneged on an oral agreement to pay him one-half of the money he earned from a song that was ultimately titled "Step in the Name of Love."
Vaughn provided Kelly with the "concept" for the song by suggesting that they create a song for the dance known as "Steppin,'" the lawsuit said. So the next time you hit the floor to bust some moves to "Step In The Name Of Love," remember, somebody took some fists to the face and a foot up the ass so you could get your boogie on.
Doesn't the thought of that make you wanna dance?
Chicago Tribune.com: Ex-employee claims R. Kelly beat him, stole song |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Finally, A Way For Me To Really Enjoy My Music. |
| Wednesday, October 04, 2006 |
 It's called the OhMiBod, and it just might be what the doctor ordered. OhMiBod is a sleek, sophisticated new generation of vibrator that combines elegance of design with the excitement of your favorite music. The audio enabled integrated microchip allows the OhMiBod to vibrate to the beat and rhythm of your music while you listen. Measures 5 1/2" long (insertable) and 1 1/8" in diameter. OhMiBod comes with an additional multi-speed endcap for use without an iPod or music player. It really is 2 products in one! Our motor provides strong yet quiet, intense rhythmic vibrations. With polished chrome detail and pearl white body this product is the ultimate iPod acsexsory! Okay? How nasty cool is that? I mean, who comes up with this stuff?
I think this is absolutely ridiculous. Well, maybe not absolutely. Okay, it might not be ridiculous at all, per se. Truth be told, it's actually kinda clever. I might not kick it out of bed if someone threw it at me. I might pick it up and study it, in a clinical, for the sake of gaining knowledge kind of way. I am a writer, after all. Research is a part of the job. What????
 I'm just sayin'.*
*Just kidding, y'all. I mean, do I look like I'd use a vibrator? Please. (running out the room)
The OhMiBod Music Powered Vibrator |
posted by Lo @ 10:30 AM   |
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| Whatever. |
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 Disgraced former Rep. Mark Foley said through his lawyer Tuesday that he was sexually abused by a clergyman as a teenager, but accepts full responsibility for sending salacious computer messages to teenage male pages.
Attorney David Roth said Foley was molested between ages 13 and 15. He declined to identify the clergyman or the church, but Foley is Roman Catholic.
He also acknowledged for the first time that the former congressman is gay, saying the disclosure was part of his client's "recovery."
"Mark Foley wants you to know he is a gay man," Roth told reporters as Republicans struggled with fallout from Foley's resignation. I guess running to rehab to hide wasn't enough. Time to pull out all the stops with the old "a priest pulled my winkie" trick, and the "oh yeah, and I'm gay." Are we supposed to feel sorry for him now? Being molested and gay doesn't make you a pedophile. Being a pedophile makes you a pedophile.
Unbelievable.
Foley says he was abused by a clergyman |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Let's Go Retro!!! |
| Tuesday, October 03, 2006 |
Figured since I was dredging up old music, I'd dig deep into the 80's crate and pull out someone who had a bunch of us shaking our (fairly small) asses to his grooves back in the day.
This multi-talented cat (who wrote, produced, played all the instruments, and sang) had a string of popular synth-heavy dances tunes and soulful ballads---nine hits---during his moment in the sun. You can find the tunes I'm going to include today and more on the cd, The Best of O'Bryan.
(Check out that sexy hamburger meat on his chest.) What better way spend a Tuesday than to listen to some of the hyper madness that defined his music and get your booty moving in your seat at work, or wherever you're reading this from. The first tune is called "I'm Freaky." It actually makes you feel kinda freaky when you listen to it. Or not. Maybe it's just me. (Click the link below to listen.)
Here's a snippet of him performing lip-synching it on Soul Train. (For those who didn't know, O'Bryan also sang the theme song, "Soul Train's A-Comin'," that you hear at the beginning of this clip. The show used that song along with that cartoon train for years.)
I really, really loved this next song, called "Lovelite." Aaah...the good old days. (Click the link below to listen.)
Here's the video that goes with it. Be careful. There's nudity (borderline porn) in this. O'Bryan was a bold one in his time.
And just because it's expected, I'm throwing in this. Go on. I know some of you know how to do the dance that goes with this. (Click the link below to listen.)
Get your 80's on, y'all!!!
Amazon.com: The Best of O'Bryan O'Bryan Page at Soul Walking.com |
posted by Lo @ 10:39 AM   |
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| You Know You Miss It. |
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Me sharing music from my vast arsenal, that is. The Lo Zone just doesn't seem right without me shoving some of my favorite artists and their music at you.
Today I thought I'd hip you guys to a jazz fusion group that I was really into years ago whose music still holds up very well today. They were, technically, the first contemporary jazz group to appear on cd. Add to that the fact that they had one of the coolest names for a group ever: Flim & the BB's.
While they have several albums that I really enjoyed---like Big Notes...
...my favorite was their debut cd, a refreshingly clever and eclectic joint called Tricycle that came out in 1982 (yes, I know...a long time ago).
This particular song I'm about to share is called "Eden." The title is rather appropriate because it puts you in a nice kind of chill mood, as if you were just kicking back in an Eden of your very own. (Click the link below to listen.)
This one's called "The 8:29." I like it because it's kind of fun. It starts out one way, then suddenly turns a tad funky. (Click the link below to listen.)
Enjoy!!!
DMP Records: Flim & the BB's Amazon.com: Flim & the BB's: Tricycle |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| Eyes On The Prize. |
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...just recently finished being in heat for the very first time (and very last, I might add). It lasted about 28 days. Practically a whole month.
During that time, my only boy dog, Milo, a Shiba Inu...
 ...lost his rabbit-ass mind. He spent all 28 of those days with his face never any more than six inches away from Toshi's swollen peeper.

He stared at it.

He fell asleep while staring at it.
 It was the golden goose, the end of the rainbow, the be-all and end-all of his tunnel-visioned existence.
It was hell. I learned two things during this nightmare of a month: 1) I never want to experience it again, and 2) My sweet, sweet, sweet boy of a dog...
 ...is a rapist.
Oh, the shame of it all.
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posted by Lo @ 10:48 AM   |
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| 2 Live!!! |
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About two months ago to the day, a very, very, very dear longtime friend, Harry Dog (he's a Que, natch), hipped me to a sports radio show called the 2 Live Stews, run by two brothers named Doug and Ryan Stewart.
Both Doug and Ryan are Ques (members of the black greek fraternity Omega Psi Phi)...
...hence there's a lot of barking on their show, which is referred to as "The Doghouse." Male listeners are called "doggs" and females are referred to as "poodles."
Everyone who calls in has to end their call with, "I'm gone", and on Thursdays, when the Stews take trivia calls, if someone gets an answer wrong, they play the classic Florida Evans soundbite (from the 70's tv show Good Times)---"Damn, damn, damn!!!"
In the five years since they first started their highly popular show, they've been named the #1 Sports Radio Show in America by Sports Illustrated, Air Talent Of The Year by ESPN Radio, and, of a year ago in October 2005, have been picked up for national syndication by Radio One.
Visit their website to see if they're on a station in your area, or, even better, CLICK HERE to listen to their radio show on the internet.
(Once you get to the site, you have to click "Get a password" and register to listen, but it's free and well worth the minimal effort as their show is incredibly good fun.)
I love these guys. They're putting the fun(k) in sports radio.
Talknet: 2 Live Stews 2 Live Stews on MySpace |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| About Me |
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Name: Lolita Files
Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
See my complete profile
Email Me!
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