The Lo Zone

A groovy place in cyberspace run by author Lolita Files. Come on in. Bring some Pepsi.

 
Lo Fun Fact #1
"Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is.
Lo Fun Fact #2
I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of Christian Louboutins.
Lo Fun Fact #3
Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all?
Lo Fun Fact #4
I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay?
Lo Fun Fact #5
I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!!
Lo Fun Fact #6
I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position.
Lo Fun Fact #7
I have four five wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and bird, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five dogs and a bird, see the above fun fact for how I will respond.
In Favor Of A Knifeless Kitchen, A Home With No Phones...And A Divorce.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
A judge denied bail Sunday for a South Side father of five accused of repeatedly stabbing his wife after discovering she was talking to another man on the telephone.

James Rodgers, 47, of the 8000 block of South Dobson Avenue was charged with attempted first-degree murder. He is accused of dragging his wife by the neck to their kitchen Thursday night and stabbing her with a steak knife until the knife broke. Rodgers continued to stab her with a butcher knife, hit her in the head and strangled choked her, Cook County Assistant State's Atty. Karin Swanson said Sunday in Cook County Bond Court.

When their 3-year-old son walked in, Rodgers pushed him away and ordered the boy back to his room, prosecutors said. The woman was stabbed 15 times, including in her shoulder, breasts, neck and abdomen, Swanson said. She was taken to Northwestern Memorial Hospital in serious condition and underwent emergency surgery.

A witness who was unable to stop the attack called police, and Rodgers surrendered when authorities arrived, Swanson said. According to court records, he did not remember how he got the knife but told police, "I stabbed her because I was angry with her."
Oh. Well that explains everything. He was "angry." Who are these entitled, insecure nuts?

Chicago Tribune: No bail for angry husband
posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   19 comments
Give Us This Day Your Daily Bread.
When Johnny Anderson and two accomplices saw churchgoers filing into Israel of God's Church on the West Side two weeks ago, they were struck with an idea, police said Monday: Let's rob the church.

Anderson is accused of doing just that, interrupting a rollicking Wednesday night service by putting his gun to a man's head, firing a shot into the ceiling and threatening to shoot children if churchgoers didn't hand over their valuables.

"It was an opportunistic time for them to commit this robbery," said Steve Peterson, commander of Harrison Area detectives. "As far as we know, there was no planning."
Aside from being dumb enough to get caught, these guys were actually thinking quick on their feet. At any given time, particularly Sunday, the church's coffers are a freaking jackpot. What with all that plate passing and building fund donating, it's a wonder more churches aren't hit up on a regular basis.

Chicago Tribune: Bond denied for man charged in church heist
posted by Lo @ 11:42 AM   5 comments
Take A Pill, Feel Free To Spill.
Scientists have developed a chemical contraceptive that temporarily blocks the development of sperm but does not interfere with testosterone levels in men.

Trials on laboratory animals, according to a media report, have shown that the contraceptive effect is reversible and that there are no apparent long-term side-effects. Scientists hope that trials of the new male contraceptive could begin within the next few years.
This comes as no real consolation in an age rampant with STDs and HIV. Still, I wonder how many men in monogamous relationships would be willing to take the pill instead of relying on their woman to take hers.

Old dogs, new tricks. You know how that goes.

Hindustan Times: Coming soon: A male contraceptive pill
posted by Lo @ 10:34 AM   5 comments
Boo, B*tches!!!!!!!
Happy Halloween!!!

Go Batsh*t!!!

Have fun!!!


posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   20 comments
With A Mayor Named "Slay," It Was Kind Of Inevitable.
Monday, October 30, 2006


posted by Lo @ 11:49 AM   17 comments
Whatever Happened To Plain Old Expulsion?
GhanaCheat
A 30-year-old Ghanaian man could be jailed for up to five years after writing his wife's paper in a science exam, police in the West African country said on Wednesday.

Kofi Ochere and his wife Christiana Yeboah, 28, a teacher, had both registered for the exam at the Presbyterian Secondary School in Legon, a suburb of the capital Accra.

But Ochere, who did not need the qualification, offered to write his wife's paper while she wrote his.

"He feared the woman would not do well. But at the examination hall, they noted the paper had a feminine name," police spokesman Beneso Darkwa said.

The two had been arrested while investigations continued.

"Both of them could go to jail ... the maximum sentence is five years," he said.

So far eight people had been arrested in Accra for pretending to be someone else during exams run by the West African Examinations Council for private secondary school candidates, Darkwa said.

Many pupils for private schools in Ghana are people who did not have an opportunity to go to school as children.
Wow. Good thing they don't practice this in the states. I've helped folks get a leg up on something things and happily watched them thrive as a result. I don't know if I considered it "cheating," as much as I did allowing them access. What they did after the fact to take fair advantage of the opportunity was on them. While helping some of them (my bad, Mel...I should have said, "while being of service to some of them") who had hidden agendas did invariably bite me in the butt a few times, at least it wasn't jail, just a lesson learned. Ghana needs to lighten up.

Yahoo News: Science exam a test of love...
posted by Lo @ 10:35 AM   3 comments
I Say They Come Out With Pepsi-Fried Chicken.
Pepsi better get on the stick if it plans to keep up, because there's a new sheriff in town treat at the fair---it's got Coke in it, and it's fried---and if this thing doesn't give you a stroke and diabetes as you're eating it, I don't know what will.

FriedCoke
Abel Gonzales, 36, a computer analyst from Dallas, tried about 15 different varieties before coming up with his perfect recipe -- a batter mix made with Coca-Cola syrup, a drizzle of strawberry syrup, and some strawberries.

Balls of the batter are then deep-fried, ending up like ping-pong ball sized doughnuts which are then served in a cup, topped with Coca-Cola syrup, whipped cream, cinnamon sugar and a cherry on the top.

"It tastes great," said Sue Gooding, a spokeswoman for the State Fair of Texas where Gonzales' fried Coke made its debut this fall. "It was a huge success."
Fried Coke. Yum-o. Should go great with Pepsi-flavored fried chicken on a stick.

Reuters: Because we don't already have enough fried foods..
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   9 comments
Shiba Shouts!!!
Friday, October 27, 2006
Lo Zone reader Denea*, proud owner of a most gorgeous Shiba Inu by the name of Indigo...

...just alerted me that the home page of today's MSN.com has an item about the breed of dog both she and I have.

[click image to go to MSN.com home page]

When you click the link, it takes you a page where you can access thousands of pics of Shiba Inus...

[click image to see Shibas]

...a veritable Shiba wonderland!!

Of course, most of you know by now that I'm the proud owner of three Shiba Inus and an Akita Inu...

...so I'm always thrilled when I see their breeds getting the recognition they deserve. They are gorgeous, happy, loyal, highly-intelligent and wonderful with children (if you have them). I love my Pooh-bears and it's great to see them having their moment in the sun.

*Thanks, Denea!!!


MSN.com: What does a Shiba Inu look like?
Previously: The Lo Zone: For The Love Of Shibas!!!
American Kennel Club: Shiba Inu
posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   1 comments
Friday Flashback.
I love classic rock just as much as I love R&B and hip-hop. So today I figured we'd rock out with a song from one of my favorite 80's supergroups, Journey.

RR018562

The lead singer, Steve Perry...

StevePerry

...had a voice to die for---one of the greatest in rock history---the kind that soared to heights that filled an arena and made you feel every word he sang right down to your very bones.

The song I chose, from their 1981 album, Escape...

JourneyEscape

...is called "Who's Crying Now." I've always loved this song, and I never get tired of Steve Perry's voice. This is a live performance from 1981. Enjoy!!!


[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch]

Amazon.com: Journey: Escape
posted by Lo @ 11:49 AM   5 comments
Please, Oh Please, Let This Be True.
DNC

Democrats lead in U.S. election: Reuters poll

While the Democratic platform could use a few tweaks, it's a helluva lot better than the hotbed of lies, hell-in-a-handbasket state we're living in now. Democrats aren't warmongers and won't sell their mother up the river for a dollar...at least not in the collective way this administration does.

Please let the people wake up this time around. If they vote the Republicans back into power, my faith in the sanity of the American public will be thoroughly crushed.

posted by Lo @ 10:34 AM   0 comments
Gimme A Friggin' Break.
People try to come up with a medical excuse for everything. If this isn't the biggest crock of sh*t, I don't know what is.

SexPic
Researchers are struggling to understand a rare medical condition where sufferers unknowingly demand, or actually have, sex while asleep, New Scientist magazine reported on Wednesday.

Research into sexsomnia -- making sexual advances toward another person while asleep -- has been hampered as sufferers are so embarrassed by the problem they tend not to own up to it, while doctors do not ask about it.

As yet there is no cure for the condition, which often leads to difficulties in relationships.
Every guy I've ever dated, with the exception of one, has attempted, demanded, or actually had sex while I was asleep, so why is there no medical term for that? Huh?

'Sexsomnia,' my ass. It's called 'night horniness.' End of subject.

Reuters: "Sexsomniacs" puzzle medical researchers
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   12 comments
When A Man Loves A Woman.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
This is the kind of love a woman hopes for.

Jermaine Dupri — superproducer, rapper, and the boyfriend of — has confirmed to The Associated Press that he has quit as a top executive at Jackson's label, Virgin Records, amid disappointing sales of Jackson's new album.

"Since there are so many rumors running rampant about my position at Virgin Records, I feel that it is necessary to set the record straight," Dupri said Wednesday in a statement released to the AP. "I was not forced out of the company, I made a decision that it was in my best interest to leave."

Dupri became head of urban music at Virgin, a unit of EMI Group PLC, just last year. His abrupt departure comes after the underwhelming performance of Jackson's latest release, "20 Y.O." Dupri was an executive producer of the record and helped determine its creative vision, along with Jackson and her longtime producers, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis.

Jackson's album failed to debut at the top of the charts last month, then steadily fell. It has sold 443,000 copies since its release Sept. 26, according to Nielsen SoundScan. Jackson's 2001 album, "All for You," debuted at No. 1 with more than 605,000 copies sold in a single week.

Coming after the flat performance of 2004's "Damita Jo" and Jackson's infamous Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction, "20 Y.O." was seen as an opportunity for Jackson to re-establish herself as the multiplatinum hitmaker she has been for most of her 20-year-plus career.
Now that's love. How many men will quit their jobs for their women? For love? In this day where the dollar seems to rule everything, it's refreshing to see that the heart can prevail.

AP: Dupri quits as Virgin Records executive
posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   8 comments
Uh, And What Do They Call What They've Already Been Doing?
I mean, sheesh. I'm surprised there's no barista behind a counter holding a Frappuccino when I step out of the bathtub.

Starbucks Corp.'s recently announced goal of having 40,000 stores worldwide isn't just about spreading green awnings through middle America, the Middle East and other areas of the world not yet tempted by easy access to mocha Frappuccinos and pumpkin spice lattes.

The coffee chain's aggressive growth also hinges on what the company calls "infill" — adding stores in cities where its mermaid logo is already commonplace. In some cases, that means putting a Starbucks within a block of an existing store, if not closer.
Starbucks on top of Starbucks.

They're not gonna be satisfied until everybody's strung out on their hopped-up coffee.

posted by Lo @ 11:46 AM   4 comments
This B*tch Needs One Good Beatdown...
...and then all this nonsense assaulting people will be over.

Supermodel Naomi Cambpell has been released on bail after being arrested in London on suspicion of assault.

Sky's crime correspondent Martin Brunt said Campbell was arrested yesterday afternoon after a woman walked into a central London police station and made an allegation of assault.

Police arrested the 36-year-old model at a house in Westminster, central London. She was released on bail in the early hours of this morning.

The Sun newspaper reported that Campbell attacked her drug counselor.

The paper claimed the therapist made a complaint after she was "scratched all over her face" by the catwalk model.

A spokesman for Campbell said he believed there had been a "misunderstanding".
"Misunderstanding"? Homegirl would be misunderstanding how she got my foot up her ass.

Someone needs to knock the sh*t out of her real good and put an end to these ridiculous antics.

Fox News.com: Naomi Campbell Arrested in London for Alleged Assault
posted by Lo @ 10:30 AM   12 comments
How Long Is Too Long?
Why does it take so long to execute serial killers? They commit multiple murders, yet, once they're captured, often live a decade or more with appeals, stays, extensions, etc.

Danny H. Rolling, 52, was pronounced dead at 6:13 p.m. at Florida State Prison in Starke, about 30 miles northeast of Gainesville. Witnesses said he stared toward them and sang a hymn-type song just before the drugs were administered.

“Maybe now that we don’t have this on us,” said Dianna Hoyt, the stepmother of one victim, “we can try and relax and live with the memories we have of our children and be at peace.”
Mr. Rolling was 36 when he arrived in Gainesville shortly before the fall semester began at the University of Florida, a drifter with a criminal past who pitched a tent in some woods near campus. He followed two freshman roommates, Sonja Larson, 18, and Christina Powell, 17, to their off-campus apartment, raped Miss Powell, repeatedly stabbed both women with a hunting knife and mutilated their bodies.

The police discovered them on Aug. 26, after Miss Powell’s parents reported that their daughter was not answering her door or phone. Later that night, the police found Christa Hoyt, 18, dead in her off-campus duplex. Mr. Rolling had raped and stabbed her, severed her head and placed it on a shelf.

The next day, Tracy Paules and Manuel Taboada, both 23, were discovered stabbed to death in their apartment, not far from where the other killings took place. Mr. Rolling attacked Mr. Taboada, a former high school football player, as he slept, then killed Miss Paules. All of the victims were University of Florida students except for Miss Hoyt, who was attending a nearby community college.
I still remember the hysteria this guy caused. The whole town was on lockdown. Folks were terrified. It was like Ted Bundy all over again. I know there are people who are wrongly imprisoned and executed in this country all the time, so having as much time to fight their imprisonment is an advantage. But what about the cases where the evidence is glaring? I know there are many who are against capital punishment. What do you do with a guy like this? Is life imprisonment sufficient justice, or, in the case of irrefutable evidence where the death sentence is imposed, should there be a cap on the amount of time that passes from sentencing to the actual sentence?

NY Times.com: Killer of 5 Florida Students Is Executed
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   2 comments
Who's The F*cktard That Came Up With This? Seriously.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
I've seen these things advertised a thousand times too many, and I've finally decided to speak up. I mean, as if the fried chicken alone isn't enough to stop your blood flow (yes, I am fully aware of the dangers of my favorite food). Noooo. They had to pile on a heap-a sh*t at once, so you can have your stroke as you're sitting at the table eating.

That's right, I'm talking about those damn KFC Famous Bowls.

Sure, they might taste delicious (I wouldn't know...seriously; even I have limits), they're hideous to look at, and it's as though they threw everything at it, including the kitchen sink and the toilet.

Check out the contents of the Mashed Potato Bowl.


Mashed pototoes, corn, fried chicken, drizzled with gravy, then topped with cheese?????? My bad---a three-cheese blend.

Look at how they've got the cheese sprinkled on top like it's some sort of festive confetti. Yeah. I'm sure there's a party in your colon as it's all going down. The rice bowl is the same as this, except there's rice instead of pototoes.

I would have loved to have been in the room when this idea was thrown on the table. And it would have been even more fun/frightening to watch the idi-boob executives sign on to what a wonderful idea this new line of fried sh*t bowls is.

And we wonder why we're fat in America.

KFC Famous Bowls
posted by Lo @ 11:58 PM   7 comments
Just Say No, Dude, Just Say No.
I mean, seriously, can you hold others responsible for the gluttony of someone else? In China, apparently so:

Five Chinese power bureau officials have been dismissed or demoted after an auditor died from a series of banquet binges, the Shanghai Daily reported on Tuesday.

The death of Zhang Hongtao, 25, who worked with the Yanshan County Audit Office in northern Hebei province, was blamed on alcohol after banquets provided in April for auditors by the Yanshan Power Supply Co., the newspaper said.

Instead of working, Zhang did little else but eat, drink, play cards and enjoy massages, the official China Daily said.

"Zhang called his family the day before his death, saying that he couldn't pick up his child because the power bureau had invited the auditors and some other supervision officials to another banquet," the newspaper said.

"That night, Zhang consumed a lot of alcohol and became very ill. When the bureau invited the group to dine again the next day, Zhang's lifeless body was found, which Zhang's family said was due to alcohol poisoning."
While you bullsh*ttin', that roast pig looks good as hell. Makes me want some fried chicken.*


*What? Everything makes me want fried chicken. Haven't y'all figured that out by now?

Reuters: Five punished for China banquet binge death
posted by Lo @ 10:47 AM   5 comments
Are Whites Smarter Or Is This Situation Unique?
[...] Richard and Cindy Little, a white couple living in a predominantly white neighborhood, filed a complaint with the Louisiana Department of Insurance. Eventually, they won full reimbursement for their repairs.

Doretha and Roy Kitchens, a black couple living in New Orleans' overwhelmingly black Lower Ninth Ward, simply gave up and took what their insurer gave them. They didn't know they could appeal to the state.

Though poor and minority neighborhoods suffered the brunt of Katrina's fury, residents living in white neighborhoods have been three times as likely as homeowners in black neighborhoods to seek state help in resolving insurance disputes, according to an Associated Press computer analysis.

The analysis of Louisiana's insurance complaints settled in the first year after Katrina highlights a cold, hard truth exposed by Katrina's winds and waters: People of color and modest means, who often need the most help after a major disaster, are disconnected from the government institutions that can provide it, or distrustful of those in power.

"The blacks didn't complain 'cause they got tired," said Doretha Kitchens, 58, who recalls numerous phone calls to her insurer that often ended with her being put on hold. Ultimately, she accepted her insurer's offer of about $34,000 for damages that actually total more than $120,000.

The insurance industry and state regulators say they made special efforts — even in the midst of Katrina's chaos — to reach out to poor and minority neighborhoods to inform them of options.

But their ad appeals on local radio did little to inform the thousands of mostly black residents who were displaced to Houston. And giving a toll free number for help didn't help poor minorities who stayed behind with no telephone or cell service. Officials acknowledge victims slipped through the cracks.

[...]

Nearly 75 percent of the settled cases were filed by residents currently living in predominantly white neighborhoods. Just 25 percent were filed by households in predominantly minority ZIP codes, the analysis found.
Another case of what you don't know can't help you.

Should the government have taken extra measures beyond runnings to let the affected minorities know they had options? Is this a case of racial privilege?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

AP: Whites on top of Katrina insurance
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   6 comments
When Gossip Goes Too Far.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
There's a very popular gossip blog called Perez Hilton.com.

It's run by this guy...

...whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, and he refers to himself as the "Queen of all Media" (which, curiously, is a title also donned by gossip maven, Wendy Williams).

He first came to minor blogging fame last year with a website called Page SixSixSix, which he was forced to remove after being sued by the real Page Six, the New York Post's very powerful gossip page. Before his site was shut down, he was refreshing, funny, and dared to say the things people were thinking about fame whores such as Paris Hilton (his blogging name, natch, is a play on hers). His favorite term for her back then was a hilarious word he coined---"whoreanus."

At some point, he began to get into bed with the very people he was reporting on and making fun of, seriously compromising his ability to be trusted to deliver objective gossip (if there is such a thing). He began to appear everywhere with Paris (that's him below with her and her sibs)...

...and often uses his site to attack those she no longer likes. (He spent most of this year cruelly ridiculing her then-enemy Nicole Richie's thinness by referring to her as "zombie hands.")

He never disparages Paris anymore, and often doesn't report on (or positively spins) her mishaps in the press.

Perez, who is openly gay, is no longer fun and funny. Most of the time, he's just downright cruel (he singlehandedly forced former *NSYNC member Lance Bass out of the closet with daily harassment), and is now more obsessed with his own rise to fame as much as those as he reports on (nearly a third of his blog posts are about himself).

But his site gets a lot of traffic and, unfortunately, he influences a lot of young people.

Well, today I think he did the most heinous thing I've seen a gossip site, magazine, or reporter do---something which I believe he should be held accountable for. A couple of hours ago, he put a post entitled, How Can We Say This Delicately???

This is the accompanying photo that went with it (he's known for scrawling childish comments or trails of coke on the photos of the people he blogs about).

This is what the actual post said:


Fortunately, the readers of his blog reacted with sheer outrage. Click HERE to read their comments.

Here's my question: do you think bloggers and journalists should be held to some level of accountability in terms of what they are allowed to write and how far they can go? Millions of little girls see the images Hollywood sends (be thin! binge! purge!), and we've got a nation of screwed up women with huge body issues as a result. I'm sure, by this post, you can see how I feel, but what do you think?

Perez Hilton.com: How Can We Say This Delicately???
posted by Lo @ 4:44 PM   5 comments
When It All Falls Down.
When it falls down, who you gonna call now?

A major effort to draw Latinos and blacks into the Republican Party, a central element of the GOP plan to build a long-lasting majority, is in danger of collapse amid anger over the immigration debate and claims that Republican leaders have not delivered on promises to direct more money to church-based social services.

President Bush, strategist Karl Rove and other top Republicans have wooed Latino and black leaders, many of them evangelical clergy who lead large congregations, in hopes of peeling away the traditional Democratic base. But now some of the leaders who helped drive Bush to victory in 2004 are revisiting their loyalty to the Republican Party and, in some cases, abandoning it. "There is a fissure, and I doubt it will be closed in this election," said the Rev. Luis Cortes Jr., a Republican who founded the annual National Hispanic Prayer Breakfast that has featured Bush every year since 2002. His Philadelphia-based Esperanza USA boasts a national affiliate network of more than 10,000 churches.

The Latino backlash has grown so intense that one prominent, typically pro-Republican organization, the Latino Coalition, has endorsed Democrats in competitive races this year in Tennessee, Nebraska and New Jersey. The coalition is chaired by Hector Barreto, the former administrator of the Small Business Administration under Bush; its president is a former strategist for the Republican National Committee.
None of this comes as a surprise. These groups were being hustled by the GOP from Day One.

Sooner or later, a snow job has to melt.

Jesus saves, but this time around, He might not save the Republican Party.

LATimes.com: Minority church leaders backing away from GOP
posted by Lo @ 11:55 AM   16 comments
A Real Snow Job.
What else can you call it? This administration is so full of sh*t.

[...] the White House is cutting and running from "stay the course." A phrase meant to connote steely resolve instead has become a symbol for being out of touch and rigid in the face of a war that seems to grow worse by the week, Republican strategists say. Democrats have now turned "stay the course" into an attack line in campaign commercials, and the Bush team is busy explaining that "stay the course" does not actually mean stay the course.

Instead, they have been emphasizing in recent weeks how adaptable the president's Iraq policy actually is. Bush remains steadfast about remaining in Iraq, they say, but constantly shifts tactics and methods in response to an adjusting enemy. "What you have is not 'stay the course' but in fact a study in constant motion by the administration," Snow said yesterday.
These guys will say anything to win this upcoming election, won't they? Especially now that they're afraid they might actually lose.

Washington Post: Bush's New Tack Steers Clear of 'Stay the Course'
posted by Lo @ 10:39 AM   4 comments
Daddy Git Yer Gun.
A father pulled a gun on a youth football coach because his son wasn't getting enough playing time, police said.

Wayne Derkotch, 40, was arguing with the coach Sunday during a game of 6- and 7-year-olds when he drew the weapon, police said. No shots were fired.
"No shots were fired"? Well, thank goodness for that.

And we wonder why the Paris Hiltons of the world and so many other kids from her generation are so f'd up. It's this whole sense of entitlement that they have, much of which is either enabled or fostered by their nutjob parents.

Sheesh.

Chicago Tribune: Police: Father Pulls Gun on Youth Coach
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   7 comments
What The Hell Is Up In Washington State????????
Monday, October 23, 2006
A man accused of having sex with the family dog has been charged under the state's new animal cruelty law, which makes bestiality a felony, a prosecutor said.

Michael Patrick McPhail, 26, of nearby Spanaway, pleaded not guilty Thursday to one count of first-degree animal cruelty in Pierce County Superior Court.

Assistant Pierce County Prosecutor Karen Watson said McPhail was the first person in Pierce County to be charged with the new bestiality offense.

[...]

McPhail's wife told investigators that she found her husband on their back porch Wednesday night having intercourse with their 4-year-old female pit bull terrier, the Pierce County sheriff's office report said. The dog was squealing and crying, according to charging papers.

The woman took photos with her cell phone and called the sheriff's office.

Calls to McPhail's public defender, David Katayama, were not immediately returned Friday.

The bestiality law, which took effect in June, was prompted by a case near Enumclaw in which a Seattle man died after having sex with a horse. Before the law was enacted, Washington was one of 14 states where bestiality had not been explicitly prohibited.
This is one of those times when that Pit Bull should have lived up to their not-always-deserved reputation.

Meanwhile, what's up with the men f*cking animals in Washington? Imagine how this must have scarred dude's wife who rolled up on him and the dog on the porch. He'd rather do a dog than her?*

Damn. How the hell do you recover from that?

*What's even more interesting is that he must have continued to hump the dog after she caught him if she was able to take pics with her cellphone and all. I wonder if the man and the dog were stuck.

**Is this an X-rated discussion? Is The Lo Zone really X-rated?


AP: Man accused of having relations with dog
Previously: The Lo Zone: What The Hell Is Up In Seattle????????
posted by Lo @ 12:25 PM   15 comments
Holy Crap!!!
I was up watching Jimmy Kimmel one night last week...

...when he aired this bit. I was ON THE FLOOR with laughter. I've been waiting ever since for it to appear on YouTube and, sure enough, it has. It's pretty self-explanatory. Enjoy!!!


[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch]

ABC.com: Jimmy Kimmel Live
posted by Lo @ 11:52 AM   3 comments
President Obama!!!
Bring it on, baby, bring it on!!!




Lest you need be reminded how charismatic he is, here is the video of his 2004 Democratic National Convention Keynote Address.

Part 1

[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch]

Part 2

[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch]

Oh yeah, and this is definitely worth the purchase.


Barack Obama Online
Barack Obama: US Senator for Illinois
Amazon.com: Barack Obama: The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream
posted by Lo @ 10:34 AM   5 comments
A Minor Correction (Just For The Record).
First off I must say, I absolutely adore AOL Black Voices. They show me a lot of love (hi Karu!! hi Ken!!), and are just a wonderfully entertaining site to visit to stay abreast of what's going on in the world of pop culture pertaining to people of color.

This past weekend while Googling myself (what? you know you do it...besides, I was doing some research), I came across a book profile they'd done on me that I hadn't seen before.

I was quite surprised by it and thought the layout was gorgeous. I'm guessing it was an extended part of the write-ups and podcast they'd done on me earlier this year. One part of it included Five Facts that most people don't know about me. Items #3 and #4 particularly caught my eye:

I was a little startled to find that we're considered X-rated out here on The Zone. I actually chuckled when I saw that because I've been feeling anything but X-rated lately. Still, I can't be the one to determine how the content is perceived because it's a perspective thing that's relative to how the individual reading the site takes it. Perhaps you guys can chime in and give me a little insight as to the degree of raciness out here.

Also, and this one is significant: my real name IS "Lolita Files." I'm not clever enough to make that up. FILES is the surname of my father's very extensive side of the family, and they might think I'd have some nerve for trying to take credit for having come up with it myself. As for the LOLITA part, my mom decided to name me after director Stanley Kubrick's film, Lolita...
...which was based on Vladimir Nabokov's seminal novel, Lolita.

The way my mom tells the story, she decided that, if she had a girl, she would name her either "Lolita" or "Jasmine." Well, "Lolita" won out. Of course, my mom never read the book, nor saw the movie, so she had no idea that she was naming me after a story about a 12-year-old manipulative slut. (Why do you think they called Amy Fisher the "Long Island Lolita" in the early 90's?)

I've spent much of my life beating back older lecherous men who wanted to know if I was reallllllly "a Lolita." Nabokov's title character was something he defined as a "nymphet." Per the website Wikipedia:
A nymphet is a sexualized adolescent girl in the early days of puberty. The term was coined by Vladimir Nabokov in the novel Lolita [...]
This is what Nabokov writes in the novel itself:
"Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travelers, twice or many times older than they, reveal their nature, which is not human, but nymphic (that is, demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose designate as "nymphets."
Demoniac. Young slut. Thanks, Mom!!!

(On a related note, I do have a dear friend who sometimes refers to me as "Locifer." But then, he's always got jokes.)

If I did make up a pen name (who needs one with the doozy I was born with?), it would be more along the lines of "The Skanktastic Whore" (think superhero-style, like The Fantastic Four.)*

Still, imagine the bewilderment of my one of my beloved high school English teachers, who now lives in Paris, looking me up on the internet after the release of my first novel, Scenes From A Sistah, (which many people thought was subtitled "The Lolita Files" because that most certainly couldn't have been the author's name)...

...only to have said beloved teacher and dear friend e-mail me that, during her search, she came up with not just information about the new book, but thousands of websites for child pornography (specifically, young girls). Quelle horror!!! Story of my life.

Fortunately, these days when you enter "Lolita Files" on the 'net, thousands of hits for me come up first. It probably pisses off a lot of pedophiles, but then again, maybe they end up lingering on a site about me and deciding to read a book rather than doing harm to some exploited underage girl. It's a grand thought, I know, but one can only hope.

Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up about my name. It's real, and it's mine.** I got it honestly from Lillie B. Files, a mom who didn't read novels by Russian writers or watch movies by revered directors, and Arthur James Files Sr., a dad who was one of the greatest storytellers I've ever had the honor of knowing. May he rest in peace, regaling those on the other side with his very, very, very tall tales.


*Of course, I'm just kidding. I would never have a name that misleading or X-rated. It'd be more along the lines of Titties Galore.

**You wouldn't believe the kind of sex men expect to get from someone named Lolita Files. It sets a very high bar that you must decide, early on, that you're going to try to surpass, maintain, or not even bother to reach.



AOL Black Voices: Book Profile. Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame.
Previously: The Lo Zone: Check Out My Podcast On AOL Black Voices!!!
Previously: The Lo Zone: ...And They've Got Us On The Front Page Again!!!
Previously: The Lo Zone: The Greatest What-The-Fuck Of All: My Balls Are More Galactic Than The Galactic Balls Of Black Jesus!!!
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   19 comments
Friday Flashback.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Today's throwback jam is from