The Lo Zone

The mayor of a small Brazilian town has begun handing out free Viagra, spicing up the sex lives of dozens of elderly men and their partners.

"Since we started the free distribution of sexual stimulants, our elderly population changed. They're much happier," said Joao de Souza Luz, the mayor of Novo Santo Antonio, a small town in the central state of Mato Grosso.

Souza Luz said 68 men over the age of 60 had already signed up for the program, which was approved by the town's legislature and has been dubbed "Happy Penis," or "Pinto Alegre" in Portuguese.

But the program has also had the unforeseen consequence of encouraging some extra-marital affairs, Souza Luz said.

"Some of the old men aren't seeking out their wives. They've got romances on the side," he said.

To discourage such illicit canoodling, Souza Luz said the city had decided to begin distributing the Viagra pills to the wives of the men who signed up for the program.

"That way, when the women are in the mood, they can give the pills to their husbands," he said.

Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter.

But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.

The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace.

"The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it," Reffell said Sunday. "Your mind is like a blank. It's like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change."

The bodies of four women were found Monday in a ditch behind a motel, not far from the Atlantic City Visitors Welcome Center, authorities said.

The bodies were found face down in several inches of water, said Janet Niedosik, a spokeswoman for the Atlantic County prosecutor's office.

One body was discovered by two women walking on a path, and police found the other three, Niedosik said.

The bodies were "some distance apart from each other," Atlantic County Prosecutor Jeffrey Blitz said.

Autopsies were scheduled for Tuesday.

The bodies were found in Egg Harbor Township, less than 200 yards from a welcome center on the edge of Atlantic City.

Onlookers said the area around the motels is known for drugs and prostitution.

"You don't stay here unless you're doing something wrong," said Danielle Trombetta, 16, of Egg Harbor Township.

News Corp. CEO Rupert Murdoch has pulled the plug on the upcoming Regan Books title from O.J. Simpson, If I Did It. A tell-all of a different variety, the book, which was to be Simpson's outline of how he might have committed the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, was scheduled for release on November 30 and was to be accompanied by a two-part TV interview to air on Fox on November 27 and 29.

After the book was condemned by booksellers (many of whom said they would donate proceeds to the victims' families), media critics and even pundits from Fox News, News Corp. announced in a terse statement that the book and TV special have been dropped. Murdoch said: “I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project. We are sorry for any pain this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.”

Dear Cheryl: What is the protocol for proper behavior after sex? I'm curious about how men treat the women they've just made love to. I'm sure there's a difference if it's love versus lust or committed versus promiscuous.

Let's take the case where the man cares for the woman and is not using her. In that case, what is expected afterward? What is normal behavior?

After being made love to, I like to spend a few minutes snuggled deep in strong arms. I like to kiss, giggle and connect on another level. I like to cuddle, if you will.

However, the guy I've been seeing for the last few months feels the exact opposite. When the deed is done, he gets very antsy. He practically becomes a stranger. All the kissing, stroking and tenderness stop cold.

We're arguing because the last time we made love, he left the room almost immediately after we were done. He tossed me a towel and disappeared into the living room, leaving me alone and naked on the bed. I waited until I realized he wasn't coming back in to lie down next to me, talk to me or at least look at me.

I felt foolish and stormed out of his apartment without saying a word. He didn't call out after me. He didn't even call me until the next day to ask me what was wrong. I was embarrassed, as if I had just delivered a booty call, but he thinks I behaved like a spoiled child.

I tried to stress that after-sex behavior is just as important as before-sex behavior. He claimed his disappearing act wasn't intentional. Then he proceeded to add that "we" just weren't working out and we shouldn't do "this" anymore. I was like, "Fine!" (What else could I say?) What an embarrassing experience!

So, do you think that makes him a jerk, or am I overly sensitive? I'm very curious as to how other women, and men, feel about behavior after sex?

-- Seduced and Abandoned -- Or Was I?

A picture book about two male penguins raising a baby penguin is getting a chilly reception among some parents in [Shiloh, IL] who worry about the book's availability to elementary students — and the reluctance of administrators to restrict access to it.

The concerns are the latest involving "And Tango Makes Three," the illustrated children's book based on a true story of two male penguins — Roy and Silo — in New York City's Central Park Zoo who adopted a fertilized egg and raised the chick as their own.

Complaining about the book's homosexual undertones, some parents of Shiloh Elementary School students believe the book — available to be checked out of the school's library in this 11,000-resident town 20 miles east of St. Louis — tackles topics their young children aren't ready to handle.

Their request: Move the book to the library's regular shelves and restrict it to a section for mature issues, perhaps even requiring parental permission before their child can check it out.

At least for now, the district's chief isn't budging. Though a panel she appointed suggested the book be moved and require parental permission before it is checked out, Superintendent Jennifer Filyaw says "And Tango Makes Three" will stay put — at the advice of the district's attorney, who says moving it might be legally challengeable censorship.

Filyaw considers the book "adorable" and age appropriate, written for children ages 4 to 8.

By the time Carnival Cruise Lines' Liberty pulls into Port Everglades this weekend from a transatlantic voyage, more than 700 people on board will have been afflicted with a highly contagious, stomach flu-like illness that appears to be norovirus, the cruise line said Wednesday.

The outbreak could be the largest reported in recent years by the cruise industry.

"It's impossible for now to say what the source is," said David Forney, chief of the cruise ship sanitation program at the national Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. He said it's likely passengers brought the virus with them when they boarded and it spread from there, but U.S. inspectors will look at whether food or water contributed to the outbreak.

[...]

As of Tuesday, 556 guests and 154 crewmembers on board the Liberty had reported symptoms lasting one to three days, according to a statement issued Wednesday by Carnival Cruise Lines. The Miami-based company said the ship is carrying 2,804 paying passengers and 1,166 crewmembers.

The ship, currently on a 16-day tour that began Nov. 3 in Rome, is scheduled to arrive in Fort Lauderdale on Sunday.

The outbreak began within 24 hours of the departure and raged the strongest during the first five days while the ship was crossing the Atlantic Ocean, Forney said.

A California couple are facing federal charges after they refused to stop "overt sexual activity" during a flight to Raleigh, authorities said.

Carl Warren Persing of Lakewood, Calif., and Dawn Elizabeth Sewell of Huntington Beach, Calif., are accused of interfering with flight crew members during a Sept. 15 Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles with a stop in Phoenix. They face a Dec. 11 trial date in U.S. District Court in Wilmington.

According to court documents, flight attendants saw Persing and Sewell kissing, embracing and "acting in a manner that made other passengers uncomfortable" while the plane was stopped in Phoenix. Persing was observed kissing Sewell near her breast and was also observed with his face pressed against Sewell's lower body.

A flight attendant asked them to stop. They obeyed initially but resumed the behavior during the flight from Phoenix to Raleigh.

When the flight attendant again requested them to stop, Persing allegedly told the flight attendant: "I'm going to give you one warning to get out of my face."

Persing and Sewell continued the verbal harassment after a flight attendant refused to serve Persing alcohol, according to court documents.

Law enforcement officials were waiting for the couple when they arrived at Raleigh-Durham International Airport.

Fox plans to broadcast an interview with O.J. Simpson in which the former football star discusses "how he would have committed" the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend, for which he was acquitted, the network said.

The two-part interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29, the TV network said.

Simpson has agreed to an "unrestricted" interview with book publisher Judith Regan, Fox said.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

The interview will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale Nov. 30. The book, published by Regan, "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed."

Four people taken hostage by a gunman at a pharmacy overpowered their captor Monday after he demanded prescription drugs and fired several shots, authorities said.

The 90-minute standoff ended when the hostages, who were barricaded inside the store with the gunman, hit him with something, Sheriff's Deputy B.E. Ferrell said.

None of the hostages was harmed, but the suspect was taken to a hospital, Ferrell said. The nature of his injuries was not immediately clear, but a witness said he had taken a painkiller and an anti-anxiety drug.

The gunman arrived with a handgun and a sawed-off shotgun, taking six people hostage at the Family Discount Pharmacy in Stollings, about 60 miles southwest of Charleston, according to Logan County 911 Director Marilyn Crosby.

Pharmacy technician Jessica Thompson, 24, said the gunman said he needed drugs but could not afford to buy them.

Tyson Foods Inc., the world's largest meat processor, warned Monday that rising corn prices could mean U.S. consumers will have to pay more for chicken, beef and pork next year as it ended its fiscal year with a third straight quarterly loss.

The Springdale, Ark.-based company forecast a return to profitability in the new fiscal year, which started Oct. 1, as it gets a grip on costs and focuses on more efficient operations. Its shares rose 4 percent.

"The best thing I can say about fiscal 2006 is, it's over," Richard L. Bond, president and chief executive officer, said in a statement.

Bond said the price of corn, which is used as animal feed, is going up because of demand from ethanol plants that are springing up to provide alternative fuel sources to oil.

Is there nothing sacred anymore? Leave my freakin' bird alone.

A condom seller has been ordered to shut his shop for displaying his wares without Chinese instructions and in "inappropriate packages," including ones bearing a likeness of Mao Zedong, a state newspaper said.

[...]

The condoms were wrapped in small metal containers decorated with funny pictures or images of historical people.

"Zhang printed China's national emblem on a condom called 'lady-killers', and on the packing of the box was the image of soldier Lei Feng and the country's late Chairman Mao Zedong," the newspaper said.

...and loving it. Ew.

In a rout once considered almost inconceivable, Democrats won a 51st seat in the Senate and regained total control of Congress after 12 years of near-domination by the Republican Party.

The shift dramatically alters the government's balance of power, leaving President Bush without GOP congressional control to drive his legislative agenda. Democrats hailed the results and issued calls for bipartisanship even as they vowed to investigate administration policies and decisions.

Democrats completed their sweep Wednesday evening by ousting Republican Sen. George Allen of Virginia, the last of six GOP incumbents to lose re-election bids in a midterm election marked by deep dissatisfaction with the president and the war in Iraq.

Police are searching for a Dublin* doctor who they say sexually battered two men at his home and took hundreds of photographs of 19 patients who were unconscious and undressed at his medical clinic.

Dr. Tony Shiu, who ran a private practice in Dublin, is being sought on a $1 million warrant. He disappeared after the warrant was issued early last month, and police believe he has left the Bay Area.

The doctor allegedly drugged two men at his Dublin residence in August and then raped one of them, Dublin police Sgt. Herb Walters said.

A search of his home turned up about 450 photos of 19 male patients who were unconscious and semi-nude in medical examination rooms, Walters said.

The co-owner of a landscaping company called Garden Guy turned down a job in October by sending an e-mail to a man who had sought an estimate for work on his yard:

"I am appreciative of your time on the phone today and glad you contacted us," Sabrina Farber wrote. "I need to tell you that we cannot meet with you because we choose not to work with homosexuals. Best of luck in finding someone else to fill your landscaping needs. All the best."

Floored, the recipient of the e-mail, Michael Lord, and his partner forwarded the message to dozens of friends. Within days the e-mail had spread across the Internet to bloggers, the homosexual media and online gardening forums from Seattle to Washington, D.C.

Farber and her husband, Todd, who have owned the landscaping company since 1991, were bombarded with profane phone calls and e-mails. Their online forum was flooded with outraged posts.

"It blackens my mind to think that an alternative version of the KKK is alive & kicking in the USA," read one of the milder comments.

The Farbers, declining interviews, released a statement saying they "do not hate homosexuals" and "did not refuse service with malicious intent. ... We meant to uphold our right as small business owners to choose who our clients are. We are humbly sorry for the hurt that it has caused."

An increasing number of Chinese are eating more fat and junk food but less grains and vegetables, leading to a high number of cases of high blood pressure and diabetes..." [...]

Paris Ho.

Dear Amy: Two years ago my lifelong friend, "Sandy," and I surprised my husband with a menage a trois for his 60th birthday. My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years. This is every man's fantasy, so I decided to treat him.

For the last 10 years, Sandy has lived on the East Coast, after her husband died. We have always been close -- she was the maid of honor at our wedding -- and both families vacationed together with our kids.

When I suggested it, Sandy laughed but said she'd go along.

I was surprised and thrilled when we did it, especially because she and my husband spent the whole time concentrating on me. We laughed the next day, saying that we are a bunch of old folks doing something we heard about when we were young but too "uptight" to try. We have not done it again, and have not talked about it, other than just mentioning it in passing. However, I fantasize about her often.

My 60th birthday is soon, and I want to do it again. When I mentioned this to Sandy, she said she would look forward to it.

But I have not told my husband. I have never been attracted to anyone during my marriage -- man or woman -- and I have been a loyal wife.

I'm counting the days until my birthday, and I feel like a teenager in love for the first time. Does this mean I'm gay?

Are you ever technically too old to orgy?*

[...] A couple that began squabbling in a motel room Friday morning carried their dispute over to an adjacent Waffle House restaurant in the nude, police said.

The woman, who was not identified, told officers she was staying in a room with Larry Boyd when he took a hit of cocaine, started trashing their room and choked her.

She ran in the buff to the nearby restaurant and locked herself in the bathroom. Boyd, also naked, followed her into the restaurant and then fled in a car.

He was arrested — still naked — after a short chase by police and was charged with driving under the influence and felony evading arrest, among other charges.

A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.

The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.

John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.

"You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said.

Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.

Saying that he was a "deceiver and liar" who had given in to his dark side, the Rev. Ted Haggard confessed to sexual immorality Sunday in a letter read from the pulpit of the megachurch he founded.

The disgraced former president of the National Evangelical Association, which represents 30 million evangelical Christians, apologized and said "because of pride, I began deceiving those I love the most because I didn't want to hurt or disappoint them."

"The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. And I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life," he said.

A teenager who spent an evening drinking alcohol before her infant daughter drowned in a bucket of cleaning solution and vomit pleaded guilty Thursday to criminally negligent homicide in the child's death.

Savarin DeJesus, 18, entered the plea in exchange for five years of probation.

DeJesus said she left the baby with a friend on Sept. 15 and drank heavily before returning to a homeless shelter where she and the baby were staying.

She said she continued drinking at the shelter and vomited into a bucket of cleaning solution next to her bed, then passed out with the baby at her side.

When she awoke hours later, DeJesus found the infant's head inside the bucket, which contained about 6 inches of liquid.

The baby was pronounced dead at a hospital, and a medical examiner concluded the cause was drowning.

The leader of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals, a vocal opponent of same-sex marriage, resigned Thursday after being accused of paying for sex with a man in monthly trysts over the past three years.

The Rev. Ted Haggard, a married father of five who has been called one of the most influential evangelical Christians in the nation, denied the allegations.

The allegations come as voters in Colorado and seven other states get ready to decide Tuesday on amendments banning gay marriage.

[...]

Mike Jones, 49, of Denver told The Associated Press he decided to go public with his allegations because of the political fight. Jones, who said he is gay, said he was upset when he discovered Haggard and the New Life Church had publicly opposed same-sex marriage.

"It made me angry that here's someone preaching about gay marriage and going behind the scenes having gay sex," said Jones, who added that he isn't working for any political group.

Jones, whose allegations were first aired on KHOW-AM radio in Denver, claimed Haggard paid him to have sex nearly every month over three years. Jones also said Haggard snorted methamphetamine before their sexual encounters to heighten his experience.

...thus revealing himself to be the worm.

An Ethiopian immigrant was convicted Wednesday of the genital mutilation of his 2-year-old daughter and was sentenced to 10 years in prison in what was believed to be the first such criminal case in the United States.

Khalid Adem, 30, was found guilty of aggravated battery and cruelty to children. Prosecutors said he used scissors to remove his daughter's clitoris in his family's Atlanta-area apartment in 2001. The child's mother, Fortunate Adem, said she did not discover it until more than a year later.

Adem, who had no criminal record, could have been sentenced to up to 40 years in prison. He held his face in his hands and wept loudly after the jury's verdict was read.

During her father's trial, the girl, now 7, clutched a teddy bear as she testified on videotape that her father "cut me on my private part."

"This child has suffered, will suffer, the rest of her life," Judge Richard Winegarden told Adem during sentencing.

[...]

It is unknown how many girls have died from the procedure, either during the cutting or from infections, or years later in childbirth. Nightmares, depression, shock and feelings of betrayal are common psychological side effects, according to a 2001 federal report.

Since 2001, the State Department estimates that up to 130 million women worldwide have undergone circumcision.

Amanda Brisendine attributed the 30 pounds she gained in the past year to an abandoned smoking habit and rich food. So when she went to the hospital with sharp stomach pain, she wasn't expecting to leave with a newborn son.

"I don't know how I didn't know. I just didn't know," Brisendine said Tuesday from her bed at Overlake Medical Center's Birthing Center, where she delivered Alexander Joseph Britt by Caesarean section.

Doctors agree her case is not rare.

George Macones, chairman of the OB/GYN department at Washington University in St. Louis, said he's seen about a dozen cases in his nearly 20-year career.

The pregnancy isn't always obvious when a woman is overweight, or a woman will have spotting or bleeding during the pregnancy and mistake it for menstruation, said Macones, who specializes in high-risk pregnancies.

A substance found in red wine could hold back the effects of ageing, according to new research.

Overweight mice given the compound resveratrol were found to live substantially longer, have healthier hearts and livers and improved insulin sensitivity.

Researchers believe the chemical, found in grapes, peanuts and mulberries, boosts the activity of sirtuins — proteins believed to defend cells against damage and illness associated with old age.

More U.S. blacks attempt suicide than previously thought, according to a landmark study that could help explode the myth that black suicides are rare because of a mind-set that took hold during slavery.

The first nationally representative study to look at attempted suicide among blacks found that about 70,000 of them try to kill themselves each year and 4 percent, or roughly 1.4 million, attempt suicide at least once in their lives.

[...] suicide rate in whites is about twice as high as in blacks, though rising rates among young black men have narrowed the racial gap.

Historically, suicide was taboo in the black community going back to slavery times, at least partly because "it was really frowned on by the black church," said Dr. Alvin Poussaint, a Harvard University psychiatry professor and race relations specialist. "It was a stigma and it brought shame to your family."

Blacks "thought life was supposed to be hard for them," and that may have helped protect them from suicide, Poussaint said.

[click image to enlarge]

More than half of women over age 50 are affected to some degree by a condition called pelvic organ prolapse [...]. "Many women feel like something is falling out of their vagina," says Linda Brubaker, MD, director of the division of female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery at Loyola University Medical Center in Chicago. In some cases, it is, and it must be pushed back up inside their bodies. The problem starts when connective tissues...blah, blah, blah.

The problem starts when connective tissues that support the pelvic organs---including the vagina, bladder, and rectum---become stretched and damaged (usually the result of pregnancy and pushing during childbirth, but sometimes due to frequent heavy lifting AND WHORING); over time those organs begin dropping. [Lo's note: Sorry. That last part about the whoring was mine.]

[...]

Many women are too embarrassed to see a doctor," says Brubaker, [no shit, says Lo] "or they're afraid they'll need surgery." But treatment includes nonsurgical options such as Kegel exercises and the insertion of a pessary, a plastic device that helps support the pelvic organs.

For more information, check out the Pelvic Floor Disorders Network (pfdn.org).

Mel, do you have an answer for this????