| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.) |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| I Wonder How Chicken Will Affect My Sons' Balls? |
| Thursday, March 29, 2007 |
If I had sons, that is. Or decided to have some. Because I eat a lot of chicken.* I'll bet all that chicken would make my boys' boys packed tighter than my suitcase when I do book tours in the winter.
 Yeah. I'm guessing moms who eat a lot of chicken give birth to sons up to their eyeballs in super-sperm, because the ones who eat a lot of red meat**...
The University of Rochester found men whose mothers ate a lot of beef during pregnancy had lower sperm counts.
...
...although the US banned the use of some growth promoters in 1979, others, such as the sex hormones testosterone and progesterone, are still in use in the beef industry.
...
They found those whose mothers ate more than seven beef meals a week had an average sperm concentration of 43.1 million sperm per millilitre of seminal fluid.
In contrast, the sons of mothers who ate less beef had an average of 56.9 million sperm. There you have it, people.  Red meat = puny-balled boys.
 Chicken = men with monster nuts. At least, that's how I interpreted it.
*And no, I'm not so naive that I don't know that chicken is as chockfull of hormones as all the rest of those Frankenfoods being shoved at us these days, but I try to be mindful of healthier, more organic chickens. Unless I happen to pass a Church's, Popeye's, or KFC. Or Roscoe's.
**While you bullshittin' though, that steak looks mad delicious!!!
BBC News:Beef diet 'damages sons' sperm' |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| 10 Comments: |
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My mother must have loved herself some chicken. Nuf said.
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My momma must have eaten a chicken coop, because I can look at a woman and get her pregnant.
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dayum MWB...spike shoulda did a moobie on you vs that "she hate me" flick....
....but when the courts comes a callin' fo' child support, run like hell!
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note to self...never look mwb in the eyes...
reminds me of some comedian talking about never look Prince in the eyes cause hes too pretty...was that Bellamy???
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...now everybodys mommah ate chicken...getouttahea!!!
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uhhh...first of all, who eats SEVEN beef meals a WEEK? Isn't that kind of a lot of red meat?
When I was pregnant with both of my sons, beef AND chicken grossed me out. I wonder what THAT means...
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Sheletha, it was Jamie Foxx. He said Prince was pretty "like a deer."
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Dayum, i need to buy my son some bigger drawz.
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| About Me |
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Name: Lolita Files
Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
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My mother must have loved herself some chicken. Nuf said.