| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.) |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
|
| I Wonder What Would Happen If You Kissed It? |
| Wednesday, March 28, 2007 |
This must be "Really creepy creatures come out of the woodwork" Week... An environmental group said Tuesday it had captured a "monster" toad the size of a small dog.  With a body the size of a football and weighing nearly 2 pounds, the toad is among the largest specimens ever captured in Australia, according to Frogwatch coordinator Graeme Sawyer.
"It's huge, to put it mildly," he said. "The biggest toads are usually females but this one was a rampant male ...I would hate to meet his big sister." No-us shit-us.
A toad like this would probably turn into Mike Tyson if you kissed it.
 Further proof of why misleading fairy tales have done their share to fill the heads of generations of women with hopeful tomfoolery that often ends up in relationships with way unrealistic expectations. But that's another story, black.
...and mated.
 I guess you could call it...a Towlet.  Talk about a creepy creature!!!
AP: Group finds toad the size of a small dog |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
|
| 7 Comments: |
-
that fugly-lookin' owl now looks like a chick'n hawk with mikey mug on it.
-
who gave you Photoshop????
-
Lo, you are a nut. ROFLMAO. I am at work and have to contain myself.
Chile, you sure were up early with all this posting. Dang! LOL.
-
that was too funny! I see the photoshop is good to someone. The mike pic was classic. Much better than the spliff/blunt attempt.
I guess the Lo that I have heard so much about is back in the saddle.
However if you think that bird is ugly, you may want to check out some of the creatures that live in the twilight zone(deep a$$ water)...it is amazing what you see on animal planet...that bird looks good compared to some of those fish...believe that!
-
Now that was some funny stuff, whew ! Girl you got my side aching this morning.
-
She's baaaaaaaack!
Love it.
-
You know how neurotic I am and how I am terrified of toads, right?
I've already had to take a ton of anti-anxiety medication this morning because of this post. That Mike Tyson head on the fugly owlet is enough to make me start drinking--and it's only 9:30!
|
| |
| << Home |
| |
|
|
|
| About Me |
|
Name: Lolita Files
Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
See my complete profile
Email Me!
|
| Previous Posts |
|
| Archives |
|
| Links |
|
|
| Powered by |
 |
|
that fugly-lookin' owl now looks like a chick'n hawk with mikey mug on it.