| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.) |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| (I'll Bet It Actually) Tastes Like Chicken. |
| Monday, March 26, 2007 |
I figured that, in honor of my return to the wonderful world of blogging (thanks for the excellent job you've been doing, Rich!!!), I'd post something that many of you know is really close to my heart...
 No, not that!!! I'm talking about...  ...fried foods (particularly chicken). I think I might have just come across a brand new recipe:A Brazilian housewife was convicted and sentenced to 19 years in prison Friday for killing her husband, chopping his body into small pieces and frying it. Rosanita Nery dos Santos, 52, drugged her husband in his sleep, then stabbed him to death two years ago in Salvador, about 900 miles northeast of Sao Paulo, said police spokesman Idmar Bonfim.
She then hacked Jose Raimundo Soares dos Santos' body into more than 100 pieces, which she boiled and fried before hiding in plastic bags beneath a staircase in her house, Bonfim said. He said police discovered the body parts after receiving an anonymous phone call.
Bonfim said the killing was either part of a black magic ritual or an attempt by the wife to collect life insurance worth about $34,000.
Citing testimony from the woman's relatives, he said she may also have committed the crime "to avenge many years of humiliation from her husband." He did not provide further details.
Santos denied killing her husband but said she chopped up his body, Bonfim said.
"She claims masked assailants entered her house, killed her husband and then forced her to cut up the body and fry it because that would prevent the stench of a decomposing body from alerting neighbors," he said. What I don't get is why she didn't just complete the process by flouring him and serving him up with some nice hot sides, a tossed salad, and some fresh bread. She could have invited his boys over (or whomever it was he liked to humiliate her in front of), and had a celebratory feast---all you can eat. I'll bet it would have been delish.
I, for one, love a good Brazilian spread, washed down with a couple/three caipirinhas...
 ...(as Juan G. can attest).
Apparently, old girl wasn't up on her Greek mythology. They were notorious for serving up cooked relatives to unsuspecting guests. She could learn a thing or two from the way they did it.
 Plus, there wouldn't have been any evidence.
AOL News: Housewife Convicted of Frying Husband
P.S. It's good to be back. I missed y'all. Did you guys get in any trouble while I was away???? |
posted by Lo @ 9:05 AM   |
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| 16 Comments: |
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WELCOME BACK, LO. Rich did an excellent job but it's great to have you back.
In terms of did we get in trouble while you were gone I plead the fifth -- a fifth of cachaca that is.
Missed you.
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Being true to who I am, I going to tell it all....
Yup...we got in a whole lotta trouble. I was scared for a minute, I thought about whoopins and stuff...
Rich did a wonderful job at keeping me away from doing what Im supposed to be doing on the plantation. Yet, Im still on the top of the white board every week. HMMM, what is everybody else doing???
While you were gone, at least I noticed a whole bunch of the fam doing some blogging on their own! People have been all over the place.
Im not going to tell about all the stuff Lance did, Im just glad to see that you're back.
How was the journey???
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Hey Lolita,
I was wondering when I would get to see your posts here. To be truthful, I found it unusual to see your face and Rich's posts. LOL.
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Welcome back! Its been a long time... Missed ya.
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Juan, Sheletha, Shai, Denea...thank you for making me feel so welcomed!!!
Wow, Sheletha...everyone's blogging now, huh? That is FANTASTIC. That's how it should be. The goal is to get people writing and stimulating dialogue and communing with each other, so that is definitely a good thing. So Lance did some things while I was away, did he????
:::glancing at Lance, arms folded, tapping my foot, semi-smirking:::
Shai, Rich is the man behind the curtain. Didn't you know? I may play the wizard, but he's the man that's standing on the chair, working the pulleys and levers and stuff. You should see how he makes those flying monkeys...
I missed you, too, Denea!!! I missed all of you!!!
Juan G...I'll happily plead that fifth of cachaca with you, dahling!!!
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Rich did a FAB job, but we still missed you something fierce!
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Yuuuppp, I told it. No matter what the reprecussions are from Lance I told it.
running out of the room...
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hey mama...glad to see you back home.
(rollin' eyes towards the ceiling.....lol)
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i ain't dun nuffin' wrong lo...just got:
black folks mad at me...
white folks mad at me...
anonymous peeps mad at me...
women mad at me...
rich gon preacher on me...
sheletha keep slappin' me upside the head, then run outta the room.
bush mad at me...
just stirrin' up shit from blog to blog...
sanaa lathan mad at me...(hmmm, i wonder why?)... (;-P
a lot more people have come out and join'd the party...it's all about ~~~ THE LO ZONE EXPERIENCE ~~~
*** y'all come and get some and quit bitchin'!!!! ***....lol
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I'm not mad at you, Lance!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxox
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if ya head didn't look like a MILK DUD I wouldn't have to slap it!!!
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i got mad luv fer you too g_g...whut it be like juan?!!!!....sheletha, leave my milk dud head alone, ya hear?!...lol xoxox
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"Apparently, old girl wasn't up on her Greek mythology. They were notorious for serving up cooked relatives to unsuspecting guests."
...yeah and she didn't watch "fried green tomatoes" either.
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Lance, my favorite line from that movie is when Cicley Tyson says, "Secret's in the sauce" as she walks around in that mans shoes.
Hey, girly-girl I was about to ask about you.
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Welcome back. You were missed. I was thinking about frying some chicken tomorrow, but uh, I think I'll pass now :)
P.S. - Rich held it down while you were away...great job Rich.
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Name: Lolita Files
Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
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WELCOME BACK, LO. Rich did an excellent job but it's great to have you back.
In terms of did we get in trouble while you were gone I plead the fifth -- a fifth of cachaca that is.
Missed you.