| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.) |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| I'm Definitely Not In Hollywood Anymore. |
| Tuesday, October 16, 2007 |
So last night we go to the movies with Cortney and Vickie. We were actually supposed to be going to a screening of Halle Berry's new movie...
 ...but we were operating on extreme CP time and the show was capacity when we (finally) arrived. So we ended up seeing another movie that had just started, The Kingdom...
It was really interesting, quite compelling in fact, and about thirty minutes in, juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust as we had dug our heels in and were really feeling the plot...
 ...the freaking film CAUGHT FIRE and MELTED!!!!
 WTF??????? The projector was smoking and shit and the movie, naturally, came to a complete halt. Apparently there was no one in the projection room, so we all sat there stupefied for a hot minute like baffled deer facing a fleet of blinding headlights, waiting for a fix. Cortney had gone for a potty break and to get more snacks (I don't want to know in what order), and had missed the fireworks, yet when he returned to the theater (entering from the front), everyone was staring at him as the screen was just a piece of freeze-framed burnt celluloid. It was a perfect moment for him to crack a joke.
What I want to know is...isn't this the digital age? Why are there still film projectors in big theaters like this? Is this what I have to look forward to in Cleveland? Should I be checking the exits before I settle in with my popcorn, lest a blaze break out? The manager eventually came in and told us the movie was a bust and that we needed to raise up and roll out because there was no way they could fix that melted film. Free passes for us all, though!!!
Free passes, my ass. Melted movies? This kind of thing would never happen at The Arclight.
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posted by Lo @ 7:18 AM   |
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| 9 Comments: |
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Too bad you don't have some ruby slippers...you could have tapped your heels together to magically transport you and your crew back to LA...(just to watch the end of the movie)
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lol@Saadia!
truly laughable moment.
Free tickets to come back on free passes to begin with still makes it a decent return on the evening activities.
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The film caught on fire?! That is CRAZY! And funny.
Glad you guys are safe.
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LOL! Gawd, I love this blog! So glad you finally started posting again.
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...this is fuckin hilarious!!!!!!
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At least you got a free movie out of it, although it sounds like the theater sucks for showing movies that might burst into flames.
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Rollin' thru late but this is still funny as hale.
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Alright babygirl, don't move to Cleveland and catch on fire!! You need me to ship you some digital flix since all they got is reels out there?
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lmao@girly. lo ain't going nowhere cuz cleveland is where her wizard is.
glad you all made it out safely. that's some low-budget ish right there, though.
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| About Me |
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Name: Lolita Files
Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
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Too bad you don't have some ruby slippers...you could have tapped your heels together to magically transport you and your crew back to LA...(just to watch the end of the movie)