The Lo Zone

More than 1 million cases of chlamydia were reported in the United States last year---the most ever reported for a sexually transmitted disease, federal health officials said Tuesday.

[...]

Gonorrhea rates are jumping again after hitting a record low, and an increasing number of cases are caused by a "superbug" version resistant to common antibiotics.

Syphilis is rising, too. The rate of congenital syphilis---which can deform or kill babies---rose for the first time in 15 years.

If so, then we salute you for doing your part!!!

Aren't you proud to be an American?

A German bank manager gave loans to a woman for sex and then embezzled thousands of euros to buy the silence of her relatives, authorities said on Thursday.

When the man realized he could not offer the jobless woman a loan because of her poor credit history, he offered to lend her the money personally in return for sexual favors, said a spokesman for a court in the southern town of Tuebingen.

The 31-year-old then stole the money from the bank. The pair continued their arrangement for the next three years.

In total, the man diverted some 520,000 euros ($760,000) from clients' accounts, of which he gave about 70,000 euros to the woman, and kept 40,000 euros for himself.

The biggest chunk of the cash went to her relatives who were blackmailing the bank manager, a married man with children. The manager had himself told her cousin about the sex deal.

Got some leftover drugs---the kind that someone else might want to use, such as painkillers or stimulants? Wrap them up in used kitty litter or other pet droppings, the U.S. government advises.

A pilot program at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration is looking at ways people can safely dispose of unused prescription drugs that are liable to be abused.

[...]

On its Web site at http://www.samhsa.gov/rxsafety/, SAMHSA recommends ways to disguise leftover pills.

"Mixing prescription drugs with an undesirable substance, such as used coffee grounds or kitty litter, and putting them in impermeable, nondescript containers, such as empty cans or sealable bags, will further ensure the drugs are not diverted," it says.

Of course some people do not drink coffee. But maybe they have a pet ferret.

"Ferret waste, like nearly any other form of pet waste, can be effectively used to help prevent the abuse of unused prescription drugs," SAMHSA spokesman Mark Weber said.

This news delighted the American Ferret Association.

I'm sure it did.

Cute, ain't he?

But did either of them mention that this little charmer is...A RAPIST?!?!?!*

That's right. He's been "HUNCHING" me. And I mean "HUNCHING," not "Humping." "Humping" is cute. "HUNCHING" is what the nasty little boys in grade school who skip class, taunt you in the halls, and sit at the back of the bus do to frightened-but-good little schoolgirls when they corner you in the library stacks or you don't run away fast enough after you get off the bus and they happen to pin you down...

*Sorry...whew!...just had a flashback from fifth grade*

Anyway, this little beast is "HUNCHING" me on the regular. When he first climbed on top of my foot and did it, I thought, "Oh, how cute. Look at that! He doesn't even realize what he's doing!" Then he straddled my thigh (because it had more meat on it and he could get a better grip) and did a full-blown, fast pump HUNCH. I was horrified and quickly pulled him off. But noooooooo...he mounted my thigh again and got his HUNCH on some more. I screamed out for the Mister and we both simultaneously said the same thing...

First, the incident...

Television bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman apologized Wednesday for repeatedly using a racial slur in a profanity-laced tirade during a private phone conversation with his son that was recorded and posted online.

Chapman, star of A&E's hit reality series "Dog the Bounty Hunter," responded after The National Enquirer posted a clip of the conversation in which Chapman uses the N-word in reference to his son's girlfriend.

A&E officials did not immediately return phone messages seeking comment from The Associated Press. Chapman issued a statement apologizing for the comments.

The recording was first posted online by the Enquirer. It was unclear who recorded the conversation or how the tabloid obtained the 1 1/2-minute clip in which Chapman uses the N-word six times. A woman at the Enquirer said no one would be available to comment after hours.

In the conversation, Chapman urges his son to break up with his girlfriend. He also expresses concern about the girlfriend going public about the TV star's use of the N-word.

In the clip, Chapman also stated he doesn't care that his son's girlfriend is black. [ed., surrrrre...]

In a statement, the 54-year-old Chapman said he has "utmost respect and aloha for black people who have suffered so much due to racial discrimination and acts of hatred.

"I did not mean to add yet another slap in the face to an entire race of people who have brought so many gifts to this world," he said. "I am ashamed of myself and I pledge to do whatever I can to repair this damage I have caused."

...*shaking in my Negro BLACK Gucci boots*...

Chapman said he is meeting with his spiritual adviser, Rev. Tim Storey, who is black, and hopes to meet with other black leaders, "so they can see who I really am and teach me the right thing to do to make things right, again."