| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita". |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.) |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| WTF Was JC Penney Thinking?!?!?! |
| Tuesday, June 24, 2008 |
Well, maybe that's exactly what they were thinking. Fucking. And lots of it. Including all the ways teens can figure out to have more, right under your nose, such as timing themselves to see how fast they can get in and out of their clothes before they get caught. Fucking.
 Check out this new JC Penney commercial. So wholesome. So All-American. So all about fucking. Kids fucking. Your kids. In JC Penney clothes they can get into and out of (and into again!!!) in time enough to keep from getting caught. Fucking. Clothes you probably bought them! JC Penney. Encouraging your kids to lie to you and go off to the basement and fuck. What was that slogan of theirs, "It's all inside"? I guess they weren't kidding. Welcome to the end times, y'all!!!
Those kids should be in the basement watching something like this. More education! Less fornication! (Be careful...don't blast this at work.)
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posted by Lo @ 8:30 AM   |
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| 7 Comments: |
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hahahahaha...yeah the good ol' days. Black and white sex ed tapes were so boring.
This was so stupid, it was funny.
Where in the hell do you find these things?
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That is a mf-n shame! I can't believe my eyes!
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This ad won't be out for long. Mothers and Christian groups all across America will be outraged over some bullshit like this.
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What da...?
Ummmmm...ok...I have no words...'cept that commercial does bring back memories(LOL)! But yeah...totally unacceptable...
Hey Lo!
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What the hale???????????? That's it, I'm shopping at Sears from now on.
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Is this serious? This can't be serious!!
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Name: Lolita Files
Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
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hahahahaha...yeah the good ol' days. Black and white sex ed tapes were so boring.
This was so stupid, it was funny.
Where in the hell do you find these things?