| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is. |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| I Used To Love You... |
| Friday, March 28, 2008 |
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posted by Lo @ 9:55 AM   |
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Pinocchio Pinocchiette's Got Skillz!!! |
| Thursday, March 27, 2008 |
I had no idea all the things she's done.
Triple doubles? Wow. F*ck running for President. She should join the Lakers!!!
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posted by Lo @ 6:05 AM   |
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| Blown Away. |
| Wednesday, March 26, 2008 |
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posted by Lo @ 12:16 PM   |
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| OMG, I Love This Guy!!! |
| Tuesday, March 25, 2008 |
He is, officially, The Man. Since he's become governor, he's basically been slamming his d*ck on the table each week with eyepopping revelations, all the while going, "What?! What?!"
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posted by Lo @ 9:00 AM   |
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| It's The Return Of The LOprechaun!!! |
| Monday, March 17, 2008 |
...wishing you all a very Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!
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posted by Lo @ 6:05 AM   |
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| Black Is The New President, Beeeeyotch!!! |
| Sunday, March 16, 2008 |
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posted by Lo @ 11:05 AM   |
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| Family Guy Fridays!!! |
| Friday, March 14, 2008 |
Family Guy is not only one the greatest cartoons of all time, but I love it, love it, love it to pieces. I watch reruns nightly and live for new episodes when the show airs on Sunday nights.
In honor of my obsession with this show, I'm going to put up some of my favorite clips on Fridays. Just to keep things fun. Just to keep things light.
Now, to get you caught up quickly, in case you're not a fan and don't know the characters, here's a compilation of ten very funny clips from the show. More on Fridays to come!!!
[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch] [refresh your screen if you can't see the player]
Oh, alright...you twisted my arm. Here's one more clip, one that was hysterical (yet shocking!) when it first aired. Enjoy, and have a most excellent weekend!!!
[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch] [refresh your screen if you can't see the player]
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posted by Lo @ 6:05 AM   |
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| ...And The Blind Shall Lead Them. |
| Wednesday, March 12, 2008 |
Now that the high class hoe-loving Eliot Spitzer has resigned, effective next Monday, there will be an official changing of the guards.
Do the damn thang!!!
*Legally blind, black and the governor of one of the most powerful states in the union? That's gotta be one bad m*thaf*cka!!!
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posted by Lo @ 12:23 PM   |
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| The Power Of The Peeper. |
| Monday, March 10, 2008 |
This practically leaves my jaw on the floor.
Spitzer Prostitution Scandal: NY Gov Admits Links To Sex Ring
Even worse, Fox News reported he's going to resign.
He was the one good man in New York politics (alright, alright, Bloomberg's cool, too), a shining moral light, the state's very own (seemingly) incorruptible Mr. Smith. *sigh* I guess no man is impervious to helping himself to some outside peeper. Even those who champion the people. Oh well.*
*I'm so glad I don't have a peen. I'd probably be sticking it in everything moving. What? I'm a Libra. That's the sensitive artist in me talking!
Update: Wait! He apologized! Maybe he won't resign! He looks so matter-of-fact, even in his apology. Like he's saying, "What, n*@@a, what!?!" He took no questions from the press, then dismissed them with a quick, "I will get back to you in short order." Translation: "So step off, bitches! That is all." I love it! (They'll still probably call for his resignation, though.)
His wife's interior monologue as she stares over his shoulder: "No this m*thaf*cka didn't put me in this position. Where's The Monster? Maybe she can give me some advice on how to handle this shit."
NYTimes.com: Spitzer Is Linked to Prostitution Ring |
posted by Lo @ 3:50 PM   |
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| Asses!!! Cheap Asses!!! Get Your Big Cheap Asses Here!!! Asses!!! |
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I read about this over on Gawker regarding a story that's in today's New York Post:
 A shady Atlanta businesswoman armed with a gallon jug of silicone and syringes is offering to inject women seeking "J.Lo butts" in a Manhattan hotel room - an illegal and potentially lethal cosmetic treatment.
"I need to see your butt," Kimberly Smedley told a Post reporter posing as a customer last week in a suite at the Eastgate Tower Hotel on East 39th Street.
Smedley, a heavyset woman wearing camouflage pants and fake Ugg boots, then demanded $1,600 in cash to give nine injections to each cheek.
Sitting on a coffee table was a Poland Spring jug, which she claimed contained "medical-grade silicone," along with a syringe and cotton balls.
"It's illegal," she said. "I'm not a doctor, and I'm not a nurse."
Smedley, 41, has two shoplifting convictions in Georgia, where she drives an Infiniti and lives in a handsome brick estate in a neighborhood of half-million-dollar homes. The Post learned about Smedley from a Harlem beautician in her late 20s who said that Smedley visits New York every few weeks and that she has injected several friends.
The woman said she paid $1,000 in 2006 for silicone butt injections, which she received in a Midtown hotel room crammed with at least 10 other women, many of them strippers, seeking the treatment.
When it was her turn, the woman lay face down on a couch, in view of the others, while Smedley gave her about 10 shots on each side.
"I wanted a J.Lo butt - full, round and high," the woman said.
The injections gave her the "lift" she wanted - at first. But now she is seeing doctors for many hard lumps, ripples and skin discolorations that have developed on her rear.
"I don't know what's happening inside me," she said. "I'm scared for my life." Shit, I'll bet she is.
After further digging of my own, turns out this illegal little phenomenon---called "pumping parties"---has been happening all over, and people (okay, trannies and what-not) have been warning each other about this for a while. Folks have been getting sick and dying!!! Folks have been going to jail for this shit!!!
Watch your booties, y'all. Don't these people know that all they've gotta do is put themselves on a good ghetto diet (skins, pig's feet, hot sausages, vinegar-and-salt potato chips, a few pineapple sodas, some fried chicken, greens with smoked neckbones) and---*pow!*---ghetto booty!!!
Of course, it may come with a side order of gut, but you can always get that lipo'd.
*On a side note, JLo's booty is monstrous in that picture. Or should I say, a monstrosity. Let's give it a name, shall we? What's a good name for a monster? Hey, what about this?!!! Oh wait, that just offended other monsters. My bad.
Gawker.com: "JLo Butt" Scam Threatens NYC Ass Health NYPost.com: Rear And Present Danger |
posted by Lo @ 1:10 PM   |
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| Smoke Diddy. |
| Wednesday, March 05, 2008 |
When did Smokey go hip-hop? Am I that old? I caught this video early yesterday morning on a local PBS channel as I lay in bed with one eye open. A flurry of WTF's ensued...
Damn. That shit actually made me bob my head.
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posted by Lo @ 6:45 AM   |
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| The Big Day. |
| Tuesday, March 04, 2008 |
It's D-Day here in Ohio and in Texas for the Democratic Party candidates, and, of course, you all know where I stand. (If you don't, you're blind.) If you're in either of these states and are still undecided, here's a last minute appeal. Make an informed decision for positive change. This country could certainly use it after all we've been through.
For those in Texas, this video's for you:
[refresh your screen if you can't see the player]
And for those in Ohio, this is for you:

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posted by Lo @ 6:05 AM   |
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