The Lo Zone

A groovy place in cyberspace run by author Lolita Files. Come on in. Bring some Pepsi.

 
Lo Fun Fact #1
"Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is.
Lo Fun Fact #2
I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of Christian Louboutins.
Lo Fun Fact #3
Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all?
Lo Fun Fact #4
I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay?
Lo Fun Fact #5
I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!!
Lo Fun Fact #6
I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position.
Lo Fun Fact #7
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond.
Miss Me?
Friday, May 30, 2008
I've been out on a bender. Looks like I'm not alone.

Enjoy your weekend. Try not to look as foolish as this. I'll be back in full swing next week!!!

ThisisLondon.co.uk: One for the end of the road? Merry Clinton knocks back whisky on campaign plane
posted by Lo @ 11:02 PM   2 comments
Yes He Did!!!*
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
ObamaFamily


*Now let's see how that other candidate and her team try to spin this.
posted by Lo @ 6:45 AM   9 comments
I Really Do Like This Picture.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I don't know if it will happen (the two of them as running mates), but they sure do look good together.

As you were.

posted by Lo @ 7:30 AM   6 comments
My Head Hurts.
I'm so confoosed. He's for and against what, now? The same things? I-I-I don't understand...


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posted by Lo @ 6:45 AM   6 comments
Quoting Sound Bites Will Get Your Ass In Trouble...
Friday, May 16, 2008
...especially if you just try to piggyback on something someone else said, but don't know the history that goes along with it. Watch this fool, Republican radio host Kevin James, get his lunch and dinner eaten yesterday evening by Hardball host, Chris Matthews. James had the nerve to try to ride on Bush's harebrained statements in Israel yesterday where he suggested that Obama would be an "appeaser" if he tried to negotiate with Iran, much like Neville Chamberlain was famously (rather, infamously) noted for being with Hitler in the run-up to World War II. (Yes, Bush dared to evoke Hitler while speaking to Jews in Israel on the sixtieth anniversary of their independence, proving Republicans are still willing to pull a rabbit scare tactic out of their asses to get their way, although the White House claims he wasn't referring to Obama when he made his crazy statements. Yeah, right).

Anyway, watch what happens when the idiotic James hops aboard the ill-fated wave of Bush's fallacious argument, shouting all the way, only to be outed for not knowing what the fuck he's talking about. The fun starts about four minutes in, so be patient---the payoff is worth it. This is political entertainment at its train-wreck best!!!


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posted by Lo @ 6:45 AM   12 comments
Because Sometimes You Just Have To Do You.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Even if it scares white people. Ain't that right, Fantasia?


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*Alright, so she scared me a little, too. Must be that white Irish strain coursing through my blood.

posted by Lo @ 1:29 PM   8 comments
Putting The "Army" In "Smarmy."
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
The Clinton campaign's Minister of Bullshit & Delusion co-chair/main talking head and toe-the-line footsoldier, Terry McAuliffe...

McAuliffe

...is so far off the rails, I'm beginning to wonder if he was ever on a track to begin with. He's become the ultimate huckster, a snake oil salesman so entrenched in hawking his "product," he doesn't seem to know how to let go, or even want to, choosing instead to bury his credibility---both past and future---along the way.

He has officially gone from highly-respected to utterly foolish, a reverse Chicken Little aboard a three-quarters submerged Titanic, insisting that everyone calm down, all is well, there's no sinking boat. This ship, baby, is full steam ahead!!!*

That he manages to keep up this ruse with a straight face in the presence of political professionals who once held him in esteem is both alarming and miraculous to witness. Behold, people, insanity at its apex, in the clip below from last night's hollow victory for this slap-happy, punch drunk Goebbels-lite's** boss:


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Here he is last Sunday in the much-talked about moment where he tells Tim Russert that Tim's dead father, along with his, is watching all this from heaven. Tim's dad, Big Russ, however, is still very much alive.


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More wheels-coming-off crazy from a couple weeks back...


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Sheesh. This is just sad to watch...yet curiously entertaining!!! I've never really gotten to examine what crazy really looks like up-close. This is better than Flavor of Love!!!

*Yeah, yeah, I know all the talk about the Clintons as Unsinkable Molly Browns of sorts, but there is a point where possibility and likelihood converge, and I believe we've long passed it. We're now square in the "hang it up" zone, and---short of an anvil or piano falling out of the sky and squishing Obama beyond repair (something that, yes, I know, is not beyond the Clintons) or all-out political anarchy at the convention (yes, I know that's not beyond them, either)---now is the time for the singing of swan songs and of exitings, stage right.


**Yeah, I said it, and it doesn't mean I consider Hillary "Hitler" just because I made the reference. (I consider her a lot of things, but a genocidal maniac isn't one of them.) Still, as a propaganda minister, there's no arguing that McAuliffe is pretty impressive and relentless, even though he now comes across as full-on bonkers.

posted by Lo @ 6:45 AM   12 comments
Faces of Face.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I figured I'd take a small break from all the madness in the media regarding politics and shine the spotlight on pure talent. Check out my dear friend, Face, Mailon Rivera, doing something he's particularly gifted at---character interpretation. Here he is at a wonderful event I attended last year at USC called Race, Rap, & Redemption. His piece is called "1 out of 4 / 3 out of 4", a play on the oft-repeated statistic that one out of four black men is making something positive out of his life and the other three out of four are in jail or doing dirt of some kind. Mailon plays the role of both types of men, each making a case for why he is relevant and/or necessary. It's pretty powerful. Enjoy!!!


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posted by Lo @ 12:58 PM   8 comments
Beat It!!!
Friday, May 09, 2008
I've been meaning to put this video up all week, ever since I first caught it this past Monday. It's a very clever and entertaining cover of Michael Jackson's iconic song, Beat It...

...as interpreted by the group, Fall Out Boy.

The very talented John Mayer...

...performs the guitar solo on the song this go 'round (Eddie Van Halen rocked it out in the original). There are lots of fun nods to the original in the video. Considering the tenor of the political race this week, I'd say this song is both a welcome break and a tad prophetic. Whatever the case, enjoy. Oh, and Happy Friday!!!


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posted by Lo @ 6:45 AM   4 comments
Poof, Be Gone!!!
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Hopefully, Herpes Hill will just go away.

And yes, I called her "herpes" because that's just what she is---a bad outbreak waiting to happen. It's time for her to go into permanent remission.

Ain't that right, Tim?!?


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posted by Lo @ 10:48 AM   15 comments
Computer Cellphone Love.
Monday, May 05, 2008
As a person in a perpetual love-hate relationship with cellphones ("I'm a techie!!! That new gadget is pretty!!!" then "People keep calling me!!! I'm getting rid of this phone!!!), I was late to the whole text messaging game. I got on board in late '06 and thought it was the best thing ever ("I can talk to people without having to TALK to people!!!"), but eventually I realized that it can be artificial device for establishing what might seem like a real bond when it's really just a tool for some people to hide behind. When used as a substitute for the early stages of dating, all kinds of deceptions can occur. People make empty promises and lie about everything from sexual prowess to how (and if) they make a living. Why? Because they can!!! Just like with a computer, they can make you believe they're something they're not, as long as you're not in front of them to verify things. That sucks, although it can be really exciting when you're in the midst of it. Still sucks, though, because, sooner or later, they have to step out from behind their cellphones and you get to see who they really are (or aren't).

I found texting to be an excellent tool for sending quick messages regarding business and to people I already have real relationships with, but as a way of getting to know a person, finding out who they are, and possibly building a bond---very, very bad. Nothing can or should ever replace true human interaction, especially when two people are just getting to know each other.

Unfortunately, however, that's the time we live in. This is the era of the bait and switch, where even losers, armed with deceit and hiding behind a cellphone, can have their moment in the sack and the sun. Sadly, many a woman (and man) has fallen for this trick, led on in excitement by a string of increasingly alluring texts only to be disappointed in the end. Fortunately, however, there's a funny little video that I saw over on Gawker last Friday that captures this whole ridiculous process in a nutshell. Odds are you'll see yourself in this cute little clip or---ye gads!!!---your relationship and how it started and maybe ended. Gaze on in wonder/horror at how dating in the age of lying-meets-lazy technology unfolds. Happy Cinco de Maio!!! Oh, and if you get drunk today and meet "The One," text with caution.


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posted by Lo @ 7:32 AM   3 comments
I'm In Love...

...and so, apparently, is the rest of the world.


If you haven't seen this movie yet, do yourself a favor and run, run, run to the theater. Of all the film adaptations of comic books, this, in my opinion, is by far the best. Robert Downey, Jr. is officially a superstar. He commands the screen with his every move.

Seriously. I couldn't take my eyes off him, just like the women who fall prey to his recklessly charming Tony Stark character in the film, he held absolute sway over me. (Those dark lashes framing those charismatic eyes...WOW!!!)

I plan on going to see this movie at least a couple more times this week. That's the first time I've felt like that in a long, long while about a film. Everything about it was top-notch, from the impeccable casting, to the highly-credible and quick-witted writing, to the smart, sharp direction by actor/director Jon Favreau (who makes a cameo in the film), of whom I've been a fan since the cult classic, Swingers. This is Favreau's Peter Jackson moment, and this franchise (and it will be a franchise, make no mistake, as evidenced by the surprise that comes after the credits have finished rolling) will be his Lord of the Rings.

This fun, engrossing, amazing movie restored my faith in the Hollywood blockbuster. Things don't have to just mindlessly blow up anymore (although there's lot of things blowing up in the movie, but with good reason). The audience can have a grand old time with sharp storytelling, some food for thought, and eye candy for both the guys and the girls.

Ain't that right, Rhodey and Tony?

Mmmm-hmmm. Let the church say, "Amen"!!!

Oh yeah...and I can't wait for the next one, Terrence, uh, I mean, Rhodey...

...when you'll have your turn at bat as War Machine!!!

Check out this clip of Terrence Howard explaining how he doesn't want to be anybody's sidekick. Looks like homie can't wait for his turn at bat, either!!!


Lastly, here's a series of back-to-back clips from the premier and other interviews, for even more details about the movie. If you are a big fan of this film like me, sit back and enjoy!!!



posted by Lo @ 6:05 AM   3 comments
File This Under, "No Shit, Sherlock!!!"
Friday, May 02, 2008
Yes, Virginia, some stereotypes are mired in truth.


Why they bothered to do a study on this is beyond me. All they had to do was ask around. It's a pretty well-known fact, myself included, and I grew up a mere five miles from the sea. In the words of my late father, I swim like a rock. (My brother, on the other hand, is part dolphin. He swims like one, anyway.)

Happy Friday, y'all!!! I promise to be more consistent in my blogging next week. The past couple of weeks have been kind of crazy. Oh yeah, and if you see any black folks in a pool or at the beach looking baffled and somewhat panicked, please...throw 'em a lifesaver. Odds are they probably need it.

posted by Lo @ 6:45 AM   5 comments
About Me

Name: Lolita Files

Home: Wonderland, Midwest Central, United States

About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.

See my complete profile

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