| Lo Fun Fact #1 |
| "Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is. |
| Lo Fun Fact #2 |
| I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins. |
| Lo Fun Fact #3 |
| Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all? |
| Lo Fun Fact #4 |
| I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? |
| Lo Fun Fact #5 |
| I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!! |
| Lo Fun Fact #6 |
| I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position. |
| Lo Fun Fact #7 |
I have four five six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have four five six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond. |
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| A Sweet & Sexy Note... |
| Friday, June 27, 2008 |
...upon which to end the week: Maxwell, at this week's BET Awards, during the tribute to Reverend Al Green. It's good to see him on the scene again. Happy Friday, y'all!!!
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posted by Lo @ 10:30 AM   |
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| WTF Was JC Penney Thinking?!?!?! |
| Tuesday, June 24, 2008 |
Well, maybe that's exactly what they were thinking. Fucking. And lots of it. Including all the ways teens can figure out to have more, right under your nose, such as timing themselves to see how fast they can get in and out of their clothes before they get caught. Fucking.
 Check out this new JC Penney commercial. So wholesome. So All-American. So all about fucking. Kids fucking. Your kids. In JC Penney clothes they can get into and out of (and into again!!!) in time enough to keep from getting caught. Fucking. Clothes you probably bought them! JC Penney. Encouraging your kids to lie to you and go off to the basement and fuck. What was that slogan of theirs, "It's all inside"? I guess they weren't kidding. Welcome to the end times, y'all!!!
Those kids should be in the basement watching something like this. More education! Less fornication! (Be careful...don't blast this at work.)
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| posted by Lo @ 8:30 AM |
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| Bye-Bye, George. |
| Monday, June 23, 2008 |
He brought the sharp, true, often sacrilegious, funny for a long, long time. He's probably still bringing it on the other side.
 R.I.P., Mr. Carlin.* You were truly one-of-a-kind. Many a comedian has stood on your shoulders.
Here he is doing what is generally considered his most famous bit, The Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television.
And here he is, going for the gusto, taking on God and religion (which he despised, particularly after the death of his first wife in 1997). I wonder if he's having to answer for any of this stuff now. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he's still telling this same bit on the other side and God is laughing harder than everyone else.
*Thanks for the heads-up, Matt. The whole world, not just me, is holding you right now.
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| posted by Lo @ 10:08 AM |
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| I Loved This Man. |
| Friday, June 13, 2008 |
He was one of the great giants of journalism and one of the few whose word, when it came to delivering news and politics, was gospel to me. He was a champion fact-checker, balance-seeker, and the consummate interviewer, holding Democrats, Republicans, and all points in between and beyond, accountable for their words and actions. I cannot believe he's gone. Godspeed, good man. Godspeed.
Check out the man doing what he did best in an interview from the recent past. Just the facts, ma'am, just the facts.
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| posted by Lo @ 4:08 PM |
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| Walking, Waving, Walking, Waving... |
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This episode, called "The Monster From The Tar Pits," is one of my favorites from the classic cartoon series, The Flintstones. It shows just what happens when you let the Hollywood bug bite you and end up getting played. Watch and learn (and ignore the Japanese---Chinese?---lettering). Happy Friday!!!
[refresh your screen if you can't see the player]
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| posted by Lo @ 6:45 AM |
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| How You Spend Your Money. |
| Tuesday, June 10, 2008 |
For all you phone sexers---those of you who pay for it, that is---just an idea of what the chick who's "blowing" you on the other end looks like.
 Was it good for you? Let's hope so, since that's how you chose to, er, blow your money!!!
Click here for more images of the erstwhile invisible people who suck, slurp, jack, and otherwise get you off for money*...Phone Sex: The Book
*FYI, people...there's plenty of free porn to be had on the internet (so I hear). Save your money. Put it towards your kid's education or in a good money market fund. And a good anti-virus software, to protect you from the malware that'll come your way while you're surfing for all that free porn. ;-)
**This is not an attack against this woman's size. She is probably more of the norm than the skinny stick figures we see on magazines. But this isn't the image these phone sex companies sell to the world. They only put up pictures of what we consider "model perfect" people. If there were more variety in the images foisted upon us by the media, this woman would be more readily embraced as a sex symbol, too.
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| posted by Lo @ 10:45 AM |
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| The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly...All In 8 Minutes. |
| Monday, June 09, 2008 |
Oh-so-clever Slate Magazine has encapsulated the whole crazy mindfuck that was this year's Democratic primary into an 8-minute nutshell. All the insanity we remember, and maybe some we forgot. Happy Monday...Enjoy!!!
[refresh your screen if you can't see the player]
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| posted by Lo @ 6:45 AM |
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| My Man. |
| Tuesday, June 03, 2008 |
I'm so proud right now, I can't even put the power of my emotions into words. As a child of parents from deep in the Mississippi Delta, parents who chopped and picked cotton as children and as teens and had to quit school to help their parents earn money to feed the entire family, parents who had to go through back doors, drink from segregated fountains, and suffer myriad other indignities merely because of their skin color...this is huge. As a child who witnessed vestiges of this during our many trips to Mississippi during the summers of my youth...this is huge. I am so. very. proud.
But it's not just because this is a major first for blacks in this country and the western world, although that's a big, big deal. And it's not just because this is a triumph for people of color everywhere, even though that's a big deal, too. Being black or a person of color is not and should not be enough to earn someone the right to opportunity. Opportunity should be afforded to everyone, especially those who can legitimately come with the goods. I am proud because a man who HAPPENS TO BE BLACK has proven to be the most charismatic, hopeful, forward-thinking, and unifying political figure to emerge in my lifetime. And he has prevailed and won the right to be the Democratic nominee.
He might even become our 44th President.* I am so. very. proud.
I wish my father was alive to see this. I feel this deeply, very deeply, for him and all those, including myself, who feared this might possibly never happen in my lifetime. As much as I love America, as much as I have a diverse palette of friends, as much as this country seems to move forward, as this campaign has shown us, old habits, values, and beliefs die hard. Still...
I am so. very. proud.
So, Mr. Obama, this song is for you. You held your head high and maintained your dignity, even in the face of those who were determined to see you discredited. You have given us hope to the infinite power, and for that, I celebrate you and will continue to help in your continued journey to the White House. From Jill Scott's lips to your ears, "don't let nobody hold you back." Let freedom ring, my brotha, let freedom ring. (Click the olive green "play" button below to listen)
Oh yeah, and how about that magnificent victory speech? Can't you just watch it over and over again? In case you want to do just that, here you go...
[refresh your screen if you can't see the player]
*Expect a flood of babies of both genders to be named "Barack" or "Obama" in the coming weeks, months, and years. This is legacy, folks. Plenty of people will be honoring this man, and this moment, by bestowing his name on others. The Age of The Funny Sounding Name is officially here, and I, for one, have never been happier to see it arrive!!!
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| posted by Lo @ 10:50 PM |
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| C U Next Tuesday, Hill!!! |
| Monday, June 02, 2008 |
Um, I guess that would be tomorrow. It is the next Tuesday to come up, after all. Hopefully by then, if not shortly thereafter, all this nonsense will come to an end.
 So drink up, lady, and consider all the dirt you've done and the low roads* you've taken in your desperate efforts to come in first. It's one thing to be tenacious, it's another to consistently break the rules when they don't favor you and cry foul when you're called on it, claiming you're being attacked by a sexist media. Or to come up with extraordinarily fuzzy math, even claiming that you're actually the legitimate, better choice because you've won more popular votes than any Democratic candidate in the history of primaries. Huh? What the holy FUCK?????????? This is simply shameless, and no one has dared to call her on all her bullshit in its entirety, except for the great and wonderful Keith Olbermann (whom Rolling Stone magazine once called "The Most Honest Man in News") in his scathing, had-it-up-to-here blasting of her two Fridays ago, after she casually mentioned "assassination" as a reason for why she's staying in the race. Let's watch it again, shall we?
Ooh, that felt good!!! So yeah, stop it, already, lady. Seriously. Sometimes, even though it's out of fashion, taking the high road can prove to be a good thing. You and your cavernously narcissistic husband (someone else's words, not mine) should try it sometime.
*Speaking of taking the low road, yes, I have heard the buzz building from the desperate right about a supposed videotape of Michelle Obama using the word "whitey" in church. Funny, no one seems to be able to produce this video. The looming threat is that it's being held in the cut for them to spring out on Obama at the right time (in the fall). Rumor also has it that this is why our fair lady above is remaining in the race, hoping for the ultimate buzzword (a black person saying "whitey" is much scarier than one saying "bitter," no?) that clears the way for her path to the White House. *le sigh* Enough already. As if she hasn't polarized this election enough, inflaming issues of racism and sexism, her dirty work culminates in wingnuts like this who buy into Clinton's bullshit that's being peddled as a cause celebre', not realizing they're just being used to incite division and further a desperate attempt at political power.
**It's not sexist if a woman (me) calls out another woman (her, and she is a woman...as far as I know). Nor is it self-hating. Just calling it like I see it, folks.
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| posted by Lo @ 12:55 PM |
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