A groovy place in cyberspace run by author Lolita Files. Come on in. Bring some Pepsi.
Lo Fun Fact #1
"Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. For as long as she lived, she had no idea there was anything sexual or seedy about being called "Lolita".
Lo Fun Fact #2
I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes (although obviously I can't eat fried chicken nearly as much as I'd like). If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Church's (that's right, I said Church's) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins.
Lo Fun Fact #3
Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi. Better yet, how about not showing up at all?
Lo Fun Fact #4
I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you or take a long time to return your calls. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay? (Exception: I will happily take all calls related to business or to share fun/exciting/major news. I'm just not one for jawing on the phone just to be jawing.)
Lo Fun Fact #5
I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!!
Lo Fun Fact #6
I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. I'm always on my laptop and connected to the internet as I work and when IM's pop into my screen out of nowhere, they break my concentration and often startle the sh*t out of me in the process. So don't do it. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position.
Lo Fun Fact #7
I have fourfive six wonderful, slap-happy dogs and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. I had a bird (a Roller pigeon that I rescued in LA on New Year's Day in 2004) named B-Bird (what? that's a good name!) who passed away in February 2009, which broke my widdle heart in half. He loved me so, as I did him. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs and cat, we'll be instant friends, and if you ask about B-Bird, I'll probably hug you (unless you smell...wash first). If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have fourfive six dogs and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond.
As Funny As This Is, It's Tragically Accurate.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Tina Fey was spot-on (again) this weekend in her portrayal of this crazy chick. Sheesh. Please, America. Wakedafuckup.
[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch] [refresh your screen if you can't see the player]
I can't wait for the debate this week. I hope Senator Biden shows her no mercy. And the public better not complain about it, either. If this chick wants to run with the boys, she'd better be ready to play like they do.
I'm sorry. That's a harsh word. In fact, it's an insult to retards everywhere. This woman is beyond retarded. What's below retarded? Moronic? Imbecilic? I think there's an intelligence scale** somewhere that determines the lowest. Anyway, whatever it is, this chick is on the bottom rung. More of her foolishness below (there's a commercial first)...
[refresh your screen if you can't see the player]
*le sigh*
People...PLEASE get out and vote. And PLEASE...not for this wingnut and her addled, lying, cantankerous running mate. You will only rue it later.
**My bad. There is a scale and it has a bottom rung. Ladies and gentlemen...
...she's an idiot.
***Again, my apologies to retards everywhere. You deserve better.
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
