A groovy place in cyberspace run by author Lolita Files. Come on in. Bring some Pepsi.
Lo Fun Fact #1
"Lolita Files" is my real name. It is not a pen name, as incredible as that may seem. There are plenty of Files family members and people who have known me for years capable of validating this. As for the "Lolita" part, my mother named me after the movie based on Nabokov's book, although she saw or read neither. To this day, she has no idea what a "Lolita" is.
Lo Fun Fact #2
I love fried chicken and fabulous shoes. If you ever want to get on my good side, send Popeye's or Mr. Chicken (my favorite spot in Cleveland) and a pair of
Christian Louboutins.
Lo Fun Fact #3
Never show up unannounced or without a Pepsi (preferably Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream). Better yet, how about not show up at all?
Lo Fun Fact #4
I hate the telephone. Don't get mad if I don't call you. I don't call anyone. Don't call me asking why I don't call. Just don't call, okay?
Lo Fun Fact #5
I love the internet!!! I love communicating through the internet!!! You can e-mail me and odds are I'll e-mail you right back (if I'm not in the middle of a major project). Makes up for my hangup about the phone, doesn't it? See, I'm not so bad after all!!!
Lo Fun Fact #6
I can't stand IMing. Please don't IM me. You will get the cold shoulder. I don't like giving people the cold shoulder, so please don't put me in that position.
Lo Fun Fact #7
I have fourfive six wonderful, slap-happy dogs, a bird (some kind of dove/pigeon mix), and a cat, all of whom I love to pieces. If you meet me and ask me about my dogs, bird, and cat, we'll be instant friends. If you meet me and ask me why the f*ck I have fourfive six dogs, a bird, and a cat, see the above fun fact for how I will respond.
As Funny As This Is, It's Tragically Accurate.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Tina Fey was spot-on (again) this weekend in her portrayal of this crazy chick. Sheesh. Please, America. Wakedafuckup.
[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch] [refresh your screen if you can't see the player]
I can't wait for the debate this week. I hope Senator Biden shows her no mercy. And the public better not complain about it, either. If this chick wants to run with the boys, she'd better be ready to play like they do.
I'm sorry. That's a harsh word. In fact, it's an insult to retards everywhere. This woman is beyond retarded. What's below retarded? Moronic? Imbecilic? I think there's an intelligence scale** somewhere that determines the lowest. Anyway, whatever it is, this chick is on the bottom rung. More of her foolishness below (there's a commercial first)...
[refresh your screen if you can't see the player]
*le sigh*
People...PLEASE get out and vote. And PLEASE...not for this wingnut and her addled, lying, cantankerous running mate. You will only rue it later.
**My bad. There is a scale and it has a bottom rung. Ladies and gentlemen...
...she's an idiot.
***Again, my apologies to retards everywhere. You deserve better.
About Me: I'm the author of six novels. My novella, "Three For The Road," included in the three-novella anthology, You Only Get Better, was published in March 2007.
